# People, mostly older, who get peeved by retail and service workers saying "No problem" instead of "You're welcome" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 6, 2024, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517 "2024-03-06T02:47:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/61 "2024-03-06T15:22:20Z")
# People, mostly older, who get peeved by… _That’s_ the problem. As a “mostly older” curmudgeon, I have to work so hard at not getting peeved at smaller and smaller things. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/62 "2024-03-06T15:26:27Z")
To tell the truth, it’s not the “no problem,” that bothers me as much as the, “yup,” which I was also guilty of abusing. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/63 "2024-03-06T16:00:59Z")
Here in the NW US, “no problem” has been in use for a few decades. I’m mid-50s and it is part of my lexicon. I don’t know why it would be problematic. Also, for those grousing about someone using your first name: Again, that is a thing in the NW from my experience. When I was very young we were taught to use “Mr” or “Ms/rs” but once I got to college age, first names all the way unless formal titles were called for (interviewing for a job for example). I think other parts of the US are far more formal with their “sirs” and “mr. so-and-so”, but not around these parts. ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/64 "2024-03-06T17:30:47Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Formulaic social phrases are going to keep evolving, and their new versions are going to keep on sounding weird to people who are unfamiliar to them and thus interpret them too literally. We’ve been sideswiped by the steamroller of linguistic evolution. I think **Kimstu** hit the nail on the head, These “formulaic social phrases” do not have any real meaning in and of themselves other than that’s just what we do in these situations, For example, if someone says, “Hi, how are you doing?” the only acceptable response is “Fine, thank you.” or something similar. If you respond with how you are actually doing they will look at like you are some sort of [insert your favorite metaphor here]. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/65 "2024-03-06T17:36:12Z")
It gets trickier when someone thanks you without explicitly saying “thank you!” (e.g. “much obliged!”). If you respond with “you’re welcome!”, it sounds like you’re passive-aggressively calling them out: “Oh, did you mean to say **thank you** , you inconsiderate jerk?” Instead, you’re better off responding with “no problem!” (or “anytime!”). ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/66 "2024-03-06T17:44:31Z")
Meh. I’m an mostly-older person who _uses_ “no problem” as a polite formulaic response to “Thank you”. Regardless of your age, if you get bent out of shape by my doing so, you will have proven to me that you don’t merit any real attempt at polite discourse and I will adjust my conversational register accordingly. Try to lecture me? You’ll be ranting at my back ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/67 "2024-03-06T17:52:16Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > (1) Do most older people really get ticked off when a service employee says “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome”? Judging from social media that certainly seems to be the case. Judging from social media is rarely a good idea. Speaking only for myself: I am an older person and I don’t care. And I’m not going to worry about anybody using my first name unless they don’t want me to use theirs. But don’t call me six times in one sentence by the first name on my credit card. In addition to all the other things wrong with that, in my case that’s the wrong name, because I go by a version of my middle name and only use the first one for legal and banking purposes. (I’m aware that most people doing this are only doing it because management says that they have to. So I don’t snarl at them.) > [@digs](#): > > As a “mostly older” curmudgeon, I have to work so hard at not getting peeved at smaller and smaller things. Whereas I get a whole lot less peeved at little things than I did when I was younger. > [@Ynnad](#): > > For example, if someone says, “Hi, how are you doing?” the only acceptable response is “Fine, thank you.” or something similar. If you respond with how you are actually doing they will look at like you are some sort of [insert your favorite metaphor here]. That’s actually context-dependent: depends both on the circumstances of the question and on who’s asking. A close friend, when I’m feeling awful, and we’ve both got a few minutes and there aren’t others probably listening? Yeah, I’m gonna tell them. Or the doctor/nurse at my appointment with them. But not the clerk at the checkout line, who at worst will get ‘Well, I’m still here!’ or something of that sort, in a fashion not expecting an answer. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/68 "2024-03-06T17:54:31Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > That’s actually context-dependent: depends both on the circumstances of the question and on who’s asking. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/_UAzkmv50o0/hqdefault.jpg "Budweiser - The Out-of-towner") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UAzkmv50o0) ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/69 "2024-03-06T18:04:28Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > That’s actually context-dependent … Fair enough, that’s true in other contexts but this thread started out with the context of conversations with retail and service workers. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/70 "2024-03-06T18:07:16Z")
> [@Ynnad](#): > > Fair enough, that’s true in other contexts but this thread started out with the context of conversations with retail and service workers. Also fair enough! ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/71 "2024-03-06T18:10:45Z")
What does “you’re welcome” even mean? Welcome is a greeting or invitation. You’re welcome to what? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/72 "2024-03-06T18:16:13Z")
It means “no problem”. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/73 "2024-03-06T18:44:15Z")
My wife gets frustrated with me because I don’t always follow social conventions. For example, several years ago, we started going to a doctor that we had met socially prior to seeing him professionally. Even in his office setting I continued to call him by his first name, as that is how I met him. My wife says that I should call him Dr. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, as that is his professional title. I refuse. He’s a person and I’m a person. We have a personal relationship. I don’t know if it bothers him or not. If it does, he’s never said anything…not sure I would care if he did. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/74 "2024-03-06T18:57:29Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > What does “you’re welcome” even mean? Welcome is a greeting or invitation. You’re welcome to what? I was taught that it’s short for “you’re welcome to ask me for help again.” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/75 "2024-03-06T19:17:52Z")
I’ve been through a lot of that. My work involved working with doctors in and out of clinical roles, and then occasionally becoming a patient of a couple of them. So I might be talking to a colleague who is also a physician in my office at the hospital in the morning, and later that afternoon going to the physician medical wing in the hospital where I have to tell a receptionist I’m there to see Dr. Doctor, and then maybe a tech and nurse will refer to him as _the doctor_ or Dr. Doctor, and then he’ll come in and I’ll say “Hi Danny”. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/76 "2024-03-06T19:18:59Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > What does “you’re welcome” even mean? Welcome is a greeting or invitation. You’re welcome to what? “You are welcome to [whatever it is that the person just thanked them for].” ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/77 "2024-03-06T21:14:31Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > What does “you’re welcome” even mean? Welcome is a greeting or invitation. You’re welcome to what? > [@TriPolar](#): > > It means “no problem”. Perfect! ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/78 "2024-03-06T22:40:29Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > And when someone asks my date of birth, I tell them, then follow it up with “but no gift, please, just a card will be fine.” Similar to my response when a cute young cashier asks for my phone number. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/79 "2024-03-06T22:53:38Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > My wife says that I should call him Dr. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, as that is his professional title. Would you call a guy who comes to fix your sink “Plumber Smith?” No, but why Doctor Smith? Might it be that doctors are more full of themselves? I heard someone at a party introduce themselves: “Hi, I’m Doctor Robert Mansard”. A couple of us looked askance at him, then at each other, and tried not to snicker. . eta: Omar (excuse me, Poster Little), you could compromise with your wife and switch to “Hey, Doc…” ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/80 "2024-03-06T23:49:15Z")
> [@5yo LSLGuy](#): > > they’re going to say “thank you” and I’m supposed to say “thank you” back at them? > > What a stupid custom; it sounds like we’re arguing. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/g0p6VtgxbH0/hqdefault.jpg "Thank you... thank yo!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0p6VtgxbH0) No problemo. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517.md?page=5)