# People, mostly older, who get peeved by retail and service workers saying "No problem" instead of "You're welcome" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 6, 2024, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517 "2024-03-06T02:47:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/81 "2024-03-07T00:28:16Z")
IMHO, “No problem” is already old hat, worn out, ripe for replacement. Personally, I’m trying to bring back “Think nothing of it.” When I catch myself saying “Don’t even mention it,” I hear the music to “The Heat Goes On (Born Under Punches)” by Talking Heads. “Thank you.” “Thank you.” _I don’t have to mention it, no thanks_ ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/82 "2024-03-07T00:31:38Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Would you call a guy who comes to fix your sink “Plumber Smith?” > No, but why Doctor Smith? Might it be that doctors are more full of themselves? Probably not, tbh. It’s usually a mistake to assume that any arbitrary etiquette convention is a direct expression of the personalities of the people who practice it. People abide by etiquette conventions because that’s the way they were taught it was supposed to be done, and inertia takes care of the rest. > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > My wife gets frustrated with me because I don’t always follow social conventions. For example, several years ago, we started going to a doctor that we had met socially prior to seeing him professionally. Even in his office setting I continued to call him by his first name, as that is how I met him. My wife says that I should call him Dr. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, as that is his professional title. I refuse. He’s a person and I’m a person. We have a personal relationship. While I honor the depth of your commitment to informal modes of address, I gotta say that if a social acquaintance of mine expected me to get naked in a small room so that he (fully clothed) could stick his fingers up my ass, I sure as hell would be using his professional title when addressing him, to emphasize the non-social nature of the interaction. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/83 "2024-03-07T00:39:49Z")
I’m 64 and fine with “No problem”, and any of the non-gag responses upthread. I think anyone who gets upset is trying to pick an argument. And/or probably never worked in a low-status server job dealing with assholes. I admit to having a bad attitude on hearing “Have a blessed day”, to which I’m tempted to respond, “Salam alaikem (sic)”. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/84 "2024-03-07T00:55:03Z")
Several years back my mom, then in her mid-70s, read me an item in the New York Times’s Metropolitan Diary complaining about the use of “no problem.” I pointed out that about a year earlier she had read me an item, also in the Metropolitan Diary, about the use of “no problem.” She dimly remembered when I brought it up. I had some time on my hands and a couple of questions, so I looked it up. Turns out that this was the fourth complaint about “no problem” in the Metropolitan Diary column in…four years. So, _someone_ is complaining. Or someones. Also, the Metropolitan Diary editors have short memories. I then did some research on Google Books, I think it was, to see if I could pin down the earliest use of “no problem” used in this context.\* I worked my way back to the mid-nineties, I believe, and a novel by an American author in which the main character goes to rural Ireland and has a conversation with a very gregarious sixty-something postmistress. “Thank you for the stamps,” the protagonist says, to which the postmistress smiles and says, “Oh, no problem.” Let me just say that I don’t think the “no-problem” frowners would have, um, a problem with that postmistress. As others have noted, I think it is less the usage that is the problem than the people with whom the usage is associated. A friendly Irish postmistress of advancing years–charming! A Black teenager who may not be making eye contact–sacrilege! \*There are two uses of “no problem” as a response to “thank you”; I’m focusing here on the response in a retail setting or other quid pro quo situation. I found many uses of “no problem” before the mid-nineties, but they were all in a doing-someone-a-favor situation. “Thanks for the ride; I would have frozen.” “No problem.” “Hey, I sure appreciate your help with the move.” “No problem at all.” No one complains about that usage, in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/85 "2024-03-07T01:21:22Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > While I honor the depth of your commitment to informal modes of address, I gotta say that if a social acquaintance of mine expected me to get naked in a small room so that he (fully clothed) could stick his fingers up my ass, I sure as hell would be using his professional title when addressing him, to emphasize the non-social nature of the interaction. This. I am good friends with my PCP. Have been for years. She’s had dinner at our house with late wife and I many times. We occasionally have dinner together now that my wife is gone. No romance between us, just old friends. She’s FirstName when we’re being social and Dr. LastName when I’m at her office. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/86 "2024-03-07T01:27:06Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I am good friends with my PCP. Have been for years. I read that wrong. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/87 "2024-03-07T01:28:22Z")
> [@Jaycat.again](#): > > Similar to my response when a cute young cashier asks for my phone number. You have no idea how tired she is of that, or what she would say to you if it wouldn’t get her fired. Please stop. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/88 "2024-03-07T01:49:49Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > No, but I do get annoyed when service workers call me “boss”. I’ve never heard this one; it must be fairly new or regional. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/89 "2024-03-07T02:10:16Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > Does something parallel to this exist in other languages or cultures? Arguably, in French. French has two modes; formal and informal. If you were saying “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” formally and informally, you would say: Formal: “Je vous remercie.” (I give thanks to you.) “Je vous en prie.” (I ask you to do it.) Informal: “Merci” (Thanks) “De rien”(It’s nothing) So I suppose a French speaker might get annoyed to have a person respond with the informal “It’s nothing” rather than the formal “I ask you to do it” that they expected. That said, I don’t feel that people who are complaining about the use of “No problem” in an English conversation are channeling their inner Frenchman. I feel the more likely explanation is that languages change and some people believe that the expression they grew up using is the correct one and, by default, all other expressions are incorrect. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/90 "2024-03-07T02:36:16Z")
1. I have no problem with it and don’t understand why anyone would. I was amused to discover it was happening. 2. Even back in high school, the French for “You’re welcome” was “Il n’ya pas de quoi” - “It is nothing.” That’s not longer common, replaced by “de rein” – “nothing.” ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/91 "2024-03-07T04:17:51Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > > [@msmith537](#): > > > > No, but I do get annoyed when service workers call me “boss”. > > I’ve never heard this one; it must be fairly new or regional. I get it occasionally. It’s usually from someone who is much younger, in a service position, and maybe from another culture/language. Sometimes it feels a little passive/aggressive about the status difference, but I try not to over-analyze it. Really, it’s not much different from “sir” in terms of respect offered, I’m just more accustomed to that. And I would be happy with neither, in the sense that actions speak louder than words. I also don’t mind if service people address me by my first name, because my last name is difficult. Not to be a saint or anything. I have a lot of issues with the way young people often express themselves, but if I can understand it, that pretty much has to be good enough. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/92 "2024-03-07T04:36:44Z")
I had my first “Have a blessed day” today; it’s not a common phrase in Minnesota, at least in my dealings. I took my 13-year-old to lunch today, and she chose the place where it I heard it. It was Olive Garden, not Chick-fil-A. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanubv.2/32/3260_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUBv.2)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/93 "2024-03-07T05:06:13Z")
I’m in my late fifties (but not a curmudgeon, dadgummit!) and was never _bothered_, per se, but it was noticeable to my English major, word lovin’ self. I think it conveys the message but sounds kind of lazy/insincere (?) to my ear; at least it did when it first came into fashion. Now, not so much. The phrase I’m still trying to get used to is “of course”. As in when your server brings your meal, you thank them and they say “of course”. I think it sounds ok coming from a British butler circa 1950, but kind of awkward from a 20 yo server in 2024. Have a blessed day doesn’t bother me at all. I generally take it as a perfunctory response no different than “have a good day”. If it’s actually sincere, why would I be upset about that? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/94 "2024-03-07T12:55:25Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUBv.2](#): > > Have a blessed day doesn’t bother me at all. I wouldn’t know a blessed day if I had one. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/95 "2024-03-07T13:01:27Z")
1. Not really encountered it 2. We have it in South African English and Afrikaans. But “no worries” is much more likely in both. 3. Absolutely not. Why would I be bothered by a phrase I use all the time myself? ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/96 "2024-03-07T13:12:13Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > (2) Does something parallel to this exist in other languages or cultures? Social customs change and (some) older people get pissy about it. Just like my older relatives detested my longish hair in high school. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/97 "2024-03-07T14:21:40Z")
While I am unconvinced that there are any significant numbers of people much annoyed by “no problem” reading this thread I am unsure which is the part that annoys those people? - the fact that language is changing and I _literally_ don’t like it. - or the sense that “no problem” seems more peer to peer casual in a context that they are expecting a less familiar/informal interaction? While the “respect” bit was mocked some it has validity. Many phrases and terms are appropriate between friends and peers but not to a customer or aunt or uncle. The two may not be mutually exclusive. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/98 "2024-03-07T14:32:39Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > the fact that language is changing and I _literally_ don’t like it. For the people I know , this is sort of it - but it’s not so much the language is changing as “the language has changed since I was young and I don’t like it” . The people who complain about “no problem” are the same ones who complain about “Happy holidays”\* instead of "Merry Christmas or schools having “special person’s day” instead of “parents’ day” or “grandparents’ day”. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/99 "2024-03-07T14:39:06Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > These are literally “(it’s) nothing,” not “no problem,” though I suppose the connotation is similar. It’s the same concept for sure; what the speaker is trying to convey is that it isn’t or wasn’t a problem for them to do that for you- they didn’t inconvenience you in doing the task. Not quite the same thing as “You’re welcome” exactly, in that I think that “you’re welcome” means that they were happy to do it for you, versus not put out to do the task. Close enough though, in that it’s an acknowledgement of a statement of gratitude. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/100 "2024-03-07T15:07:31Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > The people who complain about “no problem” are the same ones who complain about “Happy holidays”\* instead of "Merry Christmas or schools having “special person’s day” instead of “parents’ day” or “grandparents’ day”. They are not completely isolate phenomena certainly. However, the Venn diagram would show less overlap between the “no problem” case and the others you mentioned as there is between those others and further intolerant attitudes held by people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517.md?page=6)