# People, mostly older, who get peeved by retail and service workers saying "No problem" instead of "You're welcome" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 6, 2024, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517 "2024-03-06T02:47:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/101 "2024-03-07T15:37:20Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I think this is just a specific example of a broader phenomenon of people getting annoyed about an aspect of life or culture that changed within the course of their lifetime. > > […] > > Reality: there never was a state where it _always was_. Change happens continuously. That’s all true, but I’d say it goes even broader than that. The relative politeness of a term is something which changes a lot and varies a lot across different population groups. I’m not someone that seeks offense. If I am aware that a word or expression has shifted in meaning I’ll accept it. I want to interpret statements based on the speakers’ likely intent. But sometimes I might not be aware of some subtle differences. So I’d wager that sure, there may have been times where I will think someone was responding too casually, or even rudely, when that wasn’t their intent. BTW, I often respond to “thank you” with “no worries”. It sounds friendlier to me. Not heard any complaints yet. Maybe a difference between Brit and American culture. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/102 "2024-03-07T15:37:21Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > I had my first “Have a blessed day” today; it’s not a common phrase in Minnesota, at least in my dealings. I took my 13-year-old to lunch today, and she chose the place where it I heard it. It was Olive Garden, not Chick-fil-A. Not common here in New York either. But I heard it several times while recently traveling in Texas. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/103 "2024-03-07T15:49:56Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > “Have a blessed day” The problem is that if said to me by a grocery clerk, it would bring the whole checkout line to a stop as I quizzed the cashier: "What exactly are you wishing me? What would a blessed day look like? And is being blessed really anything _I_ can control? If it’s _God_ blessing me, then there’s nothing I can do to get blessed, it’s up to God, who I think we can agree, sometimes blesses and sometimes doesn’t, and often ignores our prayers and basically acts like a dick. So if I leave here and have an ordinary day, it’ll just be another reminder that God doesn’t care about me… thanks _a lot."_ ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/104 "2024-03-07T15:52:06Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > BTW, I often respond to “thank you” with “no worries”. Heck, I still sometimes say “why, sure!” or “sure thing!” as a response to “thank you”. There’s some hick talk for ya. 😁 Never really thought about it before, but I guess the linguistic backstory is along the lines of “you are surely welcome to whatever it is you’re thanking me for”. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/105 "2024-03-07T17:09:52Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > For the people I know , this is sort of it - but it’s not so much the language is changing as “the language has changed since I was young and I don’t like it” . The people who complain about “no problem” are the same ones who complain about “Happy holidays”\* instead of "Merry Christmas “Happy Holidays” apparently dates back to at least 1860, and was common by the early 1900’s. So that’s not why they’re complaining about it. It’s another of the deliberately politically-induced outrages. > **[Origin of ‘Happy Holidays’ dates back to the 1860s](http://www.thesylvaherald.com/history/article_bc94725e-633c-11ec-9713-4b8b901a728f.html)** > > By Beth Lawrence > **[Why Do We Say "Happy Holidays"? The History, Explained](https://www.dictionary.com/e/pop-culture/happy-holidays/)** > > This is a time-tested phrase for embracing Christmas, Advent, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, New Year's—and any and all winter celebrations! ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/106 "2024-03-07T17:19:54Z")
As I posted in the related thread, “Have a good one.” really gets me as highly insincere, even by clerk-to-customer perfunctory sayings go. I have no problem with “No problem.” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/107 "2024-03-07T17:41:59Z")
_You’re welcome_ or _No problem_ concludes an interaction between people following the offering of thanks. It tells the thanker that their thanks are accepted and they owe nothing more to the thankee. _Have a good one_ or _Have a nice day_ or _Have a blessed day_ all offer unsolicited advice, and are easily considered as insincere because that person really doesn’t care about the rest of your day. However, it is rude to say _You’re welcome_ or _No problem_ if no thanks have been offered. In order for people to deal with those who are rude enough not to thank someone for a service they’ve provided a pleasant sounding meaningless phrase serves to conclude the interaction. It is far easier to use those responses whether thanked or not, and more practical in an employee/customer transaction. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/108 "2024-03-07T17:50:36Z")
“No problem” has its place. It’s appropriate when we might have anticipated that the situation would have been a problem. For example, your table in a restaurant is short one place setting, so you swipe one from an adjacent unoccupied one, but then people start to sit there, so you apologize. They might say, “No problem, there are only 3 of us.” But if you thank the waiter for bringing something, it sounds off to me if they reply “no problem”. They’re supposed to bring me things; it’s built into our relationship from the start. Why are we bringing up the possibility of a problem? I think it’s like telling somebody “you’re not ugly”. They’re suddenly wondering why the possibility of their ugliness has come up for no reason. You see their baffled look, and you explain further, “I said you’re NOT ugly”. Which still doesn’t really explain why ugliness is the topic. I think it comes across a bit weird. Though, I accept that it has become a common expression that often isn’t intended to introduce the possibility of problems into the conversation. I’m not peeved. It just sounds off. If I’d been hearing it all my life it wouldn’t sound off. “Please” is an example of something that often doesn’t quite fit. It’s short for “if you please”. A police officer might tell you “please get out of the car”, and they don’t really mean “get out of the car if it would please you to do so”. But “please” has been used a very long time as part of good manners without regard to whether compliance is optional, and this bit of misfit doesn’t really occur to us so much. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/109 "2024-03-07T18:04:49Z")
Even Microsoft is ganging up on these older peopled that get peeved by “no problem” Just today, after I sent someone an email they replied with “Thank you”. Microsoft outlook provided some suggestions for replying to their email, one of which was “No problem”. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/110 "2024-03-07T18:31:14Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > But if you thank the waiter for bringing something, it sounds off to me if they reply “no problem”. They’re supposed to bring me things; it’s built into our relationship from the start. Why are we bringing up the possibility of a problem? Because you thanked them even though that was built into the relationship also. If you are thanked you must let the thanker know their thanks are accepted and sufficient. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/111 "2024-03-07T18:50:39Z")
To me, “no problem” seems much more humble. “You’re welcome” means that I’m accepting your thanks, as in, I deserve your thanks and you owe them to me. “No problem” – like “it’s nothing” – connotes the feeling that you don’t even owe me a “thank you,” such as when I’m doing what I’m expected to do, due to social customs, job, etc. If you bring dinner to my table as part of your job, it’s fine to answer “no problem” to my thank you (it’s still polite for me to say “thank you”). If you drag me out of a pond saving my life while you’re a civilian passerby, I wouldn’t be bothered by a “no problem” as a response to my “thank you,” but I’d certainly expect you not to be so humble. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2024, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/112 "2024-03-07T19:32:16Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > [Previous thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/replying-no-problem-when-someone-asks-a-favor/821830) on the same topic. And here’s [two](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-problem-no-worries-or-no-sweat/636541) [more](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-feel-about-the-phrase-no-problem/517401). Back circa 99/00, I was head cashier when an ornery geezer went ballistic when one of my younger charges said “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome.” To keep from escalating things, I let him give his stupid lecture, but he wouldn’t stop and just leave. I finally interrupted and said it wasn’t worth getting so mad over and asked him to go. After, I reassured my employee that we weren’t an _Are You Being Served_ type of store. He was getting rung up for a paintbrush or something, not getting fitted for a tuxedo. ---
**Author:** ![Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marvin_the_martian/32/2898_2.png) [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvin_the_Martian)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2024, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/113 "2024-03-08T03:15:15Z")
I probably fall into this “older” group of which the OP speaks, although I do not consider myself part of that group. I’ve always found “you’re welcome” insufferably stilted sounding and switched to “no problem” years (decades?) ago. In retail or other service settings I am usually guilty of responding to “thank you” with “thank you”. In informal settings with friends, family, and co-workers I am tending towards “yup” or “yuppers” (accent on the second syllable). I’ll throw in the occasional “de nada” just to keep things lively. > [@garygnu](#): > > After, I reassured my employee that we weren’t an _Are You Being Served_ type of store. He was getting rung up for a paintbrush or something, not getting fitted for a tuxedo. I hope you at least reassured him that even though the bristles look long now, they will ride up with wear. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2024, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/114 "2024-03-08T06:01:20Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > You have no idea how tired she is of that, or what she would say to you if it wouldn’t get her fired. Please stop. The cashier is asking Jaycat for _his_ number. If she wants to stop doing that it’s up to her. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2024, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/115 "2024-03-08T06:11:44Z")
> [@Mops](#): > > In the context of the favour that I asked for, or that was done to me without asking, I did never anticipate that it could be a problem. Something that is called a problem is a very serious thing to me and something to make me pause. I can certainly understand the logic here, especially if _kein Problem_ carries a more forceful connotation in German. Is it possible that English-speaking Germans translated “No problem” and introduced it into German? Viscerally it doesn’t bother me at all. The words are “no problem”, suggestive of the potential for a real problem, but in the context it’s just place filler; a variant way of upholding one end of the little “gratitude ritual”. The literal meaning doesn’t even enter into it. It’s sort of like how what they call a “jumper” or “cardigan” in the UK, we call a “sweater” in America, but utterly without any connotation of actual sweating. (We do say “cardigan” for that style of sweater, but “jumper” means a certain style of woman’s dress.) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2024, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/116 "2024-03-08T06:14:48Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > The cashier is asking Jaycat for _his_ number. If she wants to stop doing that it’s up to her. I assume the cashier is required to ask customers for their phone numbers to look up their account so the new purchase can be associated with it, or adding it to a marketing database, or some such store-related function mandated by management. In that situation, responding to the request by pretending the cashier is hitting on the customer is obnoxious and tired and, indeed, repetitive and annoying for the cashier. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2024, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/117 "2024-03-08T09:15:17Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > I assume the cashier is required to ask customers for their phone numbers to look up their account so the new purchase can be associated with it… Ah, OK. I didn"t think of that. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2024, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/118 "2024-03-08T12:57:10Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > I assume the cashier is required to ask customers for their phone numbers to look up their account so the new purchase can be associated with it, or adding it to a marketing database, or some such store-related function mandated by management. In that situation, responding to the request by pretending the cashier is hitting on the customer is obnoxious and tired and, indeed, repetitive and annoying for the cashier. They do that at the hardware store. After I give them my number they’ll look it up and respond by saying my first name. I respond to that by asking “What?”. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2024, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/119 "2024-03-08T14:46:06Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > “No problem” has its place. It’s appropriate when we might have anticipated that the situation would have been a problem. For example, your table in a restaurant is short one place setting, so you swipe one from an adjacent unoccupied one, but then people start to sit there, so you apologize. They might say, “No problem, there are only 3 of us.” > > But if you thank the waiter for bringing something, it sounds off to me if they reply “no problem”. They’re supposed to bring me things; it’s built into our relationship from the start. Why are we bringing up the possibility of a problem? > > I think it’s like telling somebody “you’re not ugly”. They’re suddenly wondering why the possibility of their ugliness has come up for no reason. You see their baffled look, and you explain further, “I said you’re NOT ugly”. Which still doesn’t really explain why ugliness is the topic. I think it comes across a bit weird. > > Though, I accept that it has become a common expression that often isn’t intended to introduce the possibility of problems into the conversation. I’m not peeved. It just sounds off. If I’d been hearing it all my life it wouldn’t sound off. > > “Please” is an example of something that often doesn’t quite fit. It’s short for “if you please”. A police officer might tell you “please get out of the car”, and they don’t really mean “get out of the car if it would please you to do so”. But “please” has been used a very long time as part of good manners without regard to whether compliance is optional, and this bit of misfit doesn’t really occur to us so much. That pretty well summarizes my view. “No probem” subbing for “you’re welcome” doesn’t bother me as [arbitrary syllables we say in this scenario]. Language & culture change and we all ride along with that flow as best we can. But overall, the “etymology” of the phrase _feels_ to me like service people’s default reaction is you’re bugging them by asking for something. Anyone asking them to do something _is_ normally a problem for them. But this one time it isn’t. Aren’t I lucky they’ve deigned to serve me just this once without an overt sneer on their face and spit in my drink? Overall that’s not a good overtone to have coming out of service workers’ faces. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2024, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/120 "2024-03-08T14:52:05Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > But overall, the “etymology” of the phrase _feels_ to me like service people’s default reaction is you’re bugging them by asking for something. Anyone asking them to do something _is_ normally a problem for them. But this one time it isn’t. I think you’re reading too much into it, or maybe too little; maybe they say it, not just this one time, but just about _every_ time — and, no, it’s _not_ normally a problem for them, and so their default reaction is to say it each time; sure, they’re only mentioning that you’re not bugging them, but it’s entirely possible that the last guy also wasn’t bugging them, and that the next guy won’t be bugging them either. You’re inferring a “this one time” that — doesn’t actually seem to be there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517.md?page=7)