# People of Zoom **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 25, 2021, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846 "2021-05-25T01:49:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/1 "2021-05-25T01:49:27Z")
It’s been a year now and we’ve all become used to meeting on Zoom. So, it’s time to take an anthropologic view to the various subtypes of people you meet when you hold a meeting or get together on Zoom. - **The Control Freak** -sets up the meeting and invites everybody. Announces the time remaining every 10 minutes until the last ten minutes when they announce the time every minute. Recognize them by the monopolization of conversation. - **The Procrastinator** -always shows up late with a vague claim of “had trouble signing in”. Recognize them by the time they get there and constant apologies. - **The Technologically Impaired** -shows up on time but has audio with no video, video with no audio, or is accidentally on mute the entire time. Recognize them by the fact that you may be talking to an animal or an inanimate object. - **The Traveller** -spends the entire time walking from room to room, causing everyone else to get dizzy. Recognize them by the constantly changing background. - **The Eater** -tries to surreptitiously sneak snacks in between comments. Fails. Recognize them by audible crunching. - **The Lounger** -signs into the meeting on a smartphone while clearly lying in bed. May fall asleep during the meeting. Recognize them by pillows behind their head and possible snoring. - **The Appearance-Obsessed** -spends the entire meeting checking themselves in the thumbnail to make sure they look good. Recognize them by constant changes in facial expression, fiddling with hair, and various head tilts. - **The Experimenter** -spends the entire meeting playing with available features, such as changing backgrounds every few minutes and giving thumbs-up to comments. Recognize them by their exotic locale, and the pixilation when the green screen effect fails. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/2 "2021-05-25T01:59:18Z")
- **Me** -attends large meetings with a crocodile hand puppet to see if anyone is paying attention. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/3 "2021-05-25T03:49:35Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > **Me** -attends large meetings with a crocodile hand puppet… Umm, yes, we all noticed the crocodile. We just ignored it… …until you picked up your file folder with both hands, and we were all PM’ing each other asking how you were controlling Li’l Wally Gator there… ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/4 "2021-05-25T04:20:52Z")
Last week I tilted my laptop about 30 degrees and leaned over during zoom meetings. It looked normal until I took a drink of orange juice and the level of juice in the glass was tilted at 30 degrees. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/5 "2021-05-25T05:48:13Z")
There are plenty of technologically impaired at my Zoom meetings, but lots of them are 80 years old, and getting them to be able to participate somewhat reliably has been a win. The OP forgot the Immutables - the ones who chat with others, take phone calls, and all around make noise without realizing everyone can hear. If I am running the meeting I can slap them onto mute, but it is annoying if I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thegunismightierthanthepen/32/2981_2.png) [@TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheGunIsMightierThanThePen)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/6 "2021-05-25T06:23:38Z")
**Me** - signs into meeting, then proceeds to spend the whole time browsing the SDMB / Reddit / my phone, or reading an e-book, while trying to make it not look obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/7 "2021-05-25T08:18:22Z")
**The Silhouette.** Even after a year they still don’t understand how cameras and lighting work. Their video window is a blinding square of the sunlit window behind them, and their head is an inky blob. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/8 "2021-05-25T12:38:31Z")
Being retired and lacking a camera and microphone on my computer, I’ve never experienced any of this. Most I ever managed was one-on-one chat, once with my doctor and a couple of times with my granddaughter. Whew! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/9 "2021-05-25T12:47:46Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > **The Silhouette.** Even after a year they still don’t understand how cameras and lighting work. Their video window is a blinding square of the sunlit window behind them, and their head is an inky blob. - They’re hiding their expressions. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/10 "2021-05-25T19:30:22Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > **The Silhouette.** Even after a year they still don’t understand how cameras and lighting work. Their video window is a blinding square of the sunlit window behind them, and their head is an inky blob. We understand perfectly how lighting works. We just want to break your spirit: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/wjKQQpPVifY/hqdefault.jpg "Star Trek: The Next Generation - Four Lights") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjKQQpPVifY) Stranger ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/11 "2021-05-25T19:46:51Z")
“I’m not a cat” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/qcnnI6HD6DU/maxresdefault.jpg "Lawyer uses Zoom filter by mistake - 'I'm not a cat' - BBC News") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcnnI6HD6DU) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/12 "2021-05-25T22:14:15Z")
**The Phantom of the Zoom Call** : Never enables video, intentionally. Audio is fine, but no one must see his face. Does he have hideous facial scarring? We may never know. (that’s me, BTW) ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/13 "2021-05-25T22:27:04Z")
**Proud of their ceiling** people who have their cameras/laptop tilted so far back that you can only see the tops of their hair, and of course the ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/14 "2021-05-26T01:40:33Z")
> [@TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](#): > > **Me** - signs into meeting, then proceeds to spend the whole time browsing the SDMB / Reddit / my phone, or reading an e-book, while trying to make it not look obvious. Me too. The trick is to have two monitors. Put the SDMB window on the monitor with the camera. That way when you’re looking at SDMB it looks like you’re paying attention to the zoom window and whatever the presenter is showing. Put the zoom window on your other screen and only watch it via peripheral vision. Better yet, put the zoom window on mute and minimized. Then you can eat, drink, and 'Dope without annoyances. ---
**Author:** ![TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thegunismightierthanthepen/32/2981_2.png) [@TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheGunIsMightierThanThePen)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/15 "2021-05-26T02:41:03Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Better yet, put the zoom window on mute and minimized. Then you can eat, drink, and 'Dope without annoyances. Yep, that’s my _modus operandi_ since I just have one monitor. I never really look at what’s being shared on the Zoom window, but I’ve mastered the art of passively monitoring the conversation in the background and keying in on important points or when they call my name. It’s kind of like how when dolphins sleep, one hemisphere of their brains remains awake 😁 For my phone, I place it next to the keyboard and whenever I need to look at it, I shift my eyes but keep my face aligned with the camera. Hard to detect unless someone specifically decides to put my window on fullscreen. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/16 "2021-05-26T04:15:07Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > **The Silhouette.** Even after a year they still don’t understand how cameras and lighting work. Their video window is a blinding square of the sunlit window behind them, and their head is an inky blob. This is me when I take meetings from the office. I can’t control the way the desk is oriented or where the window is (at my back.) It works better at home because I have light coming in from the front, but I can’t control that either. I thought about getting one of those clip on lights but I figure (hope) we’re returning to the office soon. Might be a waste of money. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/17 "2021-05-26T04:47:56Z")
The Lounger: Laid back, with laptop wresting on stomach or chest, head tilted severely forward. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/18 "2021-05-26T10:51:56Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Me too. The trick is to have two monitors. Put the SDMB window on the monitor with the camera. Oh! Thanks for the tip! ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/19 "2021-05-26T17:27:53Z")
**The Jeffery Toobin** : > **[Jeffrey Toobin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Toobin)** > > Pages for logged out editors learn more > > > Jeffrey Ross Toobin (/ˈtuːbɪn/; born May 21, 1960) is an American lawyer, author, blogger, and longtime legal analyst for CNN. He left CNN on September 4, 2022.\[failed verification\] > During the Iran–Contra affair, Toobin served as an associate counsel on this investigation in the Department of Justice. He moved from government and the practice of law into full-time writing during the 1990s, when he published his first books. He wrote for The New... ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846/20 "2021-05-26T17:55:37Z")
Yeah. Not like that. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846.md?page=2)