# People over 40 shouldn't have to refer to their SOs as "Boyfriend" or "Girlfriend" dangit! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2015, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860 "2015-10-27T10:37:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/41 "2015-10-27T18:52:34Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I still don’t understand why people who are even to the point of referring to each other as “husband” and “wife” don’t just make it official. Why? Other than an excuse to have a party, I don’t see a reason. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/42 "2015-10-27T19:02:41Z")
Well, it is after all an excuse to have a party-- That’s one reason right there. It simplifies the question of “what do we call each other” considerably. It might save you money on your taxes. It helps you cut through a lot of bureaucracy. It should be well-known by now that marriage has literally thousands of legal benefits, and those all apply to straight people just as much as to gay. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/43 "2015-10-27T19:11:35Z")
> [@Carryon](#): > > When I hear the term “Partner” it always makes me think the person is gay. Or that they are running a business together. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/44 "2015-10-27T19:13:37Z")
I like boyfriend and girlfriend and I’m over 40. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/45 "2015-10-27T19:14:03Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Male/Female Carbon Based Unit. > [@WildBlueYonder](#): > > best answer > What would be the opposite? > > manfriend? > > ah gentleman friend! That’s it! :smack: I have a friend who refers to her guy as The Manpiece. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/46 "2015-10-27T19:15:45Z")
The meaning of a word is not derived solely from that of its constituent morphemes. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/47 "2015-10-27T21:04:43Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > The meaning of a word is not derived solely from that of its constituent morphemes. The issue is not that the word has “girl” or “boy” in it, it’s that the whole concept of girlfriend or boyfriend sounds, to some people, like a temporary state. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/48 "2015-10-27T21:12:27Z")
I prefer to use, “emergency contact”. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/49 "2015-10-27T21:31:16Z")
Just call them your lover. Especially if your adult children are around. That’ll go over well. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/50 "2015-10-27T21:32:18Z")
We have a private joke we use and so far no one has asked what it means. She is my sop and I am her sod. To most of the neighbors and acquaintances we are husband and wife. Source of pussy and source of dick. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/51 "2015-10-27T21:35:17Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > Bring back _leman_. Nice, neutral etymology: “le-” from “dear,” cognate with German _lieb_. Gender-neutral. Doesn’t sound childish or suggest a business relationship. (Edit: can rhyme with _lemon_, which should be more amusing than confusing.) See, I’ve only read this (in fantasy/historical novels) as a polite term for “whore” or at best “mistress” - the lower-class woman that a noble fellow is screwing regularly, but wouldn’t ever consider marrying, though he might or might not acknowledge any resulting bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/52 "2015-10-27T21:38:45Z")
> [@Carryon](#): > > When I hear the term “Partner” it always makes me think the person is gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Actually, I have heard straight SO’s referred to in that way probably as often as gay ones. Before we were married, I used “partner” and sometimes “SO” if I wanted to be more vague about the intimacy of our relationship. In my will at the time I used the term “life partner” but that was too formal for everyday speech. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/53 "2015-10-27T21:43:02Z")
The lady I was seeing really hated “girlfriend”. I researched the matter online, and “leading lady” seemed nice to me, but she hated that too. Now she has decided that “former lover” is the appropriate title. Kinda sad about that, but as breakups go, this one is great. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/54 "2015-10-27T22:09:07Z")
I know an old biker dude who still refers to his gf as his bitch. It makes me cringe, but she’s fine with it and he insists it is a term of endearment. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/55 "2015-10-27T22:26:36Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > Just call them your lover. Especially if your adult children are around. That’ll go over well. 🙂 Almost as well as “common law bedmate”. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/56 "2015-10-27T22:35:43Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > I guess this is cultural. Amongst my (British) circle, “partner” is the perfectly normal reference for anyone over the age of 30 something, particularly for couples who live together, gay and straight. > > I never hear “Significant Other”, maybe that’s an American thang. I’m speaking _ex cathedra_ from the seat of my pants, here, but I seem to remember “significant other” being coined as a parody example of political-correctness-gone-mad (along the lines of “follicly challenged” for “bald” and “Gyno-American” for “woman”), and then gradually being used in a non-ironic sense. > [@Voyager](#): > > I agree. My 99 year old father in law has a 100 year old girlfriend. They are never going to get married, I doubt there is loving in the traditional sense going on, and they don’t share a room. BF/GF works far better than any of the suggestions in this thread so far. What about “companion”? I’m very fond of that, because it literally means “the one you break bread with”, which has a nice homey feel to it. I don’t know your father-in-law and his friend, but I’ll bet companionship is primarily what they provide each other. And it’s a wonderful thing, too. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/57 "2015-10-28T00:46:13Z")
We say boyfriend/girlfriend. He doesn’t mind, but I’m not wild about it. If the context works I call him Sweetie. My 76-year-old mother insists on introducing him as “Helena’s Special Friend”. :smack: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/58 "2015-10-28T01:26:56Z")
Boyfriend always felt strange to me, so I’d use man-friend. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/59 "2015-10-28T08:56:25Z")
Wife. My country treated us as married. My religion considered us married. My friends and workmates treated us as married. Marriage is something you do, not something that happens to you. Husband is something I do, not something I did. ---
**Author:** ![tuesdayweld](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@tuesdayweld](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tuesdayweld)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860/60 "2015-10-28T09:35:59Z")
I am single now, but “parasitic mate” summed things up nicely with regard to a past relationship. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-over-40-shouldnt-have-to-refer-to-their-sos-as-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-dangit/735860.md?page=4)