What DSM IV problem is happening with these folks who read their religious texts 3+ hours per day–and have day jobs? Is it OCD? Something else?
The situation prompting this question is a family that adopted a young lady (13, I think) from China. They are Mormon and expect her to do “devotional reading” an hour before school and after dinner until bed. On Sunday, all day. She’s not that thrilled with her new situation. I just want to have some understanding of their point of view, if any. They also force her to eat meat every meal. I don’t know if she was raised Buddhist (the only veggies in China) or if she’s just not comfy with meat–since no Chinese meal has very much meat in it, but that seems rather obsessive/controlling to me.
My sympathy also goes out to the girl, but what exactly can be done? The people setting the rules are way beyond understanding how unreasonable they are being. Our laws also support their right to raise her in that manner. I wouldn’t want the government to be able to come in and tell me what I could or could not read or how often I can read. I’m not sure how the fact that she is Chinese really enters into the question.
Oy. I’m afraid I spend 3+ hours on the Dope most days. Does that mean I have OCD?
It’s possible they just want to assimilate her into her new life as soon as possible and think this is the best way to do it. I don’t necessary agree but they have the right and responsibility to do what they think best for the child.
It’s unfortunate for this girl that she’s being put in such a foreign situation, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with someone who reads the bible three hours a day. I mean, I think they’re spending their time on something that isn’t worth it, but they’d probably say the same about the three hours of Buffy I used to watch every day.
Maybe not, but there;s definitely something disturbing about people who try to force other people to do it, especially children. Forcing her to eat meat is also very weird. If this couple adopted this child just to enforce such a heavy-handed religious and cultural indoctrination on her, I think they’re selfish people who do not seem to be making any attempt to see their adopted daughter as an individual human being with rights and a mind of her own.
I feel really sorry for her. I have to admit, part of it is just really primal sympathy based on the fact that she’s Chinese and I sort of have a thing for Chinese girls (actual ones from China) and it pisses me off that these people are making her go through all this.
The other thing is, forcing someone to read the Bible is a stupid, asinine way to get them enthusiastic about religion. I can’t tell you how many idiotic Bible-thumpers I’ve met or heard who literally only know a bunch of memorized quotations from the Bible and seem to posess no deeper understanding of their faith than being able to regurgitate sound-byte quotes. Just the Bible is not enough, in my opinion. You need to have a good pastor or preacher who is charismatic and who can keep you interested with sermons - and who is willing to meet with you and discuss your questions in a truly intellectual way.
(I’m agnostic, but I don’t have anything at all against those who are religious.) My opinion of religion is that it ought to be a real cultural and community-oriented activity if you are going to practice it. It’s not just reading the Bible. I think the Bible is mostly worthless without contextualization and intellectual discussion.
Well, for all purposes, she IS their child and they can tell her to worship whatever they want. Not that, that is necessarily RIGHT- but that’s how it is (how many people here were sent to hours of church/ Sunday school throughout their childhood? Of course, most people that grow up that way end up abandoning the faith…).
I think it is especially crappy they make her eat meat- mainly because that isn’t good for her stomach (to go from a veg based diet to a meat heavy diet).
Dio, i can’t really agree. I’m sure they just consider this good parenting. While you and I may disagree that it is, I think it’s not more disturbing than if this family were to make their biological children do the same. That’s how they raise their kids. There’s nothing wrong with forcing your kids to behave the way you expect – that’s practically the definition of parenting. Yeah, they’ve got their heads up their asses on what good parenting is, but, again, they think the same about us.
I think it’s abusive to do it to biological kids as well, but the fact that they’re forcing a child to completely abandon all of her previous culture and beliefs, without the slightest apparent concern for her own opinions and feelings just makes it all the more egregious.
My roommate spent seven hours going through his email today. See, he subscribes to these email lists, and if he misses a couple days, he ends up with something like 700 emails, and the better part of a GB of stuff in his various inboxes. OCD? I dunno. He can spend an easy 5-6 hours a day watching his reality TV shows & celebrity talk shows too. All day on Sunday.
Replace “adopted family of mormons” with “Reverend Moon,” and I’d say call child protective services. Three hours a day? All day on Sunday? Sounds like abuse to me. If your kids wants to do something that much, fine, let them if it doesn’t hurt them. Making your kid do something that much? Abuse. Or at least close enough for social services to step in and have a look. They’re mormons for crying out loud. Make sure daddy isn’t having sex with her, and they aren’t planning on marrying her off at 14 to some guy with eight other underage wives.
Wow. That’s some pretty offensive stereotyping. There are a few extremist “mormon” splinter groups that still practice polygamy. I see nothing in this thread to indicate this family is part of such a group. They’re no more likely to be sexually abusive than any other Christian family.
As for the reading, I’d call it highly controlling and insensive to force that kind of abrupt cultural change on a child but not even close to abuse.
I think it’s questionable whether or not instilling religious belief in children constitutes “mind control.”
Is making your kid go to church on Sunday mind control/abuse? This is similar, but to a more extensive degree. I guess it’s just whether you think it’s a reasonable expectation, whatever reasonable means. I don’t. We’re talking over 20 hours of Bible reading a week. But again, I don’t know if the hourly total is enough to step in. I mean, how many kids are plunked in front of the TV for that long and more per week. Certainly unhealthy, IMO, though yielding a different result than Bible reading I imagine. I think there’s just a place where you’ve got to let parents fuck up their kids on their own, like it or not.
I’m not a big fan of parents indoctrinating their kids with their religious belief but I don’t think it’s abusive. My daughter is going to Catholic school and my wife takes her to mass on sundays. (I’m going along with it on the condition that I get to tell the kids it’s all bullshit when they get a bit older .)
I think it becomes abusive when the child is not permitted to question or diasagree with those beliefs and/or is forced to spend an inordinate amount of time and energy studying and practicing a religion with absolutely no regard at all as to how the kid feels about it. It shows a profound lack of respect for the kid as an individual and bespeaks a disturbing level of self-absorbtion on the part of the parents. Even children have a right to be free in their own minds.
We’re doing a lot of speculating about a situation in which we have very few facts. If we assume the worst and project our own prejudices, then the situation does indeed look bleak for this young girl. However, a 13 year old is very much capable of thinking for herself and I suspect (and hope) she’ll come to her own conclusions about what’s right and wrong in this situation. In five years, she’ll be free to do as she pleases. I suspect that if she’s very unhappy with her situation, she’ll assert herself earlier than that.
These types just “live” for the afterlife. All this (Life) is just an inconvenient stopover to get past. Thus locking ones self away for hours is a way to check out for a bit and not deal with what’s really out here.
.)