# People stealing my lunch, is it ok to make a cat food sandwich? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169 "2009-09-07T16:15:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/241 "2009-09-09T17:41:10Z")
I can’t help but remember that used toner has a nasty habit of sticking to skin, and is available in fairly large quantities in a typical office. ---
**Author:** ![Fat\_Chance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8baadc/32.png) [@Fat\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fat_Chance)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/242 "2009-09-09T17:42:27Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > So you think nobody ever made shit up on a message board? Really? > > Why do you? Of course people make shit up - but I use some common sense and reading comprehension to make a determination as to whether something may be bullshit, primarily whether there appears to be a motivation to make up the story. In this case - not much motivation as the story isn’t really all that exciting is it?. Maybe if his story had him stealing a young Harvard students lunch, who went on to become president, only to discover that he had a peanut allergy and recalled during a speach to the the FDA how he was lucky that the one time he brought a peanut butter sandwhich to school 25 years ago it was strangely stolen by an unknown perp thus saving his life - yeah, then I’d see the motivation to concoct a false story. I don’t care whether he is lying or not. I just found it really really strange that someone would get so up in arms about the story and derail a thread to question and doubt it. Thats all. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/243 "2009-09-09T17:48:33Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Pithy. No shit. “Suspicion is the companion of mean souls, and the bane of all good society.” --Thomas Paine ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/244 "2009-09-09T18:03:17Z")
Mission status: Success! i just finished enjoying my delicious lunch sandwich which was left unmolested, i even took a late lunch. It did not taste at all like cat food and it did not look to have been tampered in any way. If this is the end of it i will be satisfied, even if i don’t find out who the culprit was. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/245 "2009-09-09T18:04:22Z")
Wow. But now you have to work on molestation-detection devices, because if that person realizes they ate cat food you might be in trouble! ---
**Author:** ![Pocito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@Pocito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pocito)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/246 "2009-09-09T18:09:50Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Mission status: Success! i just finished enjoying my delicious lunch sandwich which was left unmolested, i even took a late lunch. It did not taste at all like cat food and it did not look to have been tampered in any way. If this is the end of it i will be satisfied, even if i don’t find out who the culprit was. Maybe you could put your lunch in a bag with the top stapled shut. Short of injecting something directly into your sandwich, it should be pretty apparent if someone’s pried open a future lunch. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/247 "2009-09-09T18:14:16Z")
> [@Pocito](#): > > Maybe you could put your lunch in a bag with the top stapled shut. Short of injecting something directly into your sandwich, it should be pretty apparent if someone’s pried open a future lunch. It was already pretty obvious that the lunch had been pried into, that is, it was gone entirely. He didn’t want to confirm suspicions, he wanted to eat his lunch. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/248 "2009-09-09T18:17:56Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > It was already pretty obvious that the lunch had been pried into, that is, it was gone entirely. He didn’t want to confirm suspicions, he wanted to eat his lunch. Here are the facts. The OP kept getting his lunch stolen. He makes a catfood sandwich and puts it in the usual place. It gets stolen. The perp may or may not have eaten it, and may or may not have realized it was catfood. Today the OP brings a normal lunch, and eats later than normal, giving the perp plenty of time to steal it. It doesn’t get stolen. At this point since the perp has changed his habits is seems likely that they know about the catfood. Now the OP has to worry about retaliation, like bodily fluids in the sandwich or whatnot. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/249 "2009-09-09T18:22:58Z")
That’s why he should have poisoned the sandwich. Dead guys don’t retaliate! ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/250 "2009-09-09T18:25:06Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > That’s why he should have poisoned the sandwich. Dead guys don’t retaliate! “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?” ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/251 "2009-09-09T18:32:00Z")
A variant on the dog poop idea: Take some brownies. Pinch off bits and roll into balls. Press balls together and mush into, well, a turd-like shape. The results can be surprisingly realistic (we did this to a friend’s kid sister when we were youngsters; sis ate some, then we told her it was poop). Place “turd” between two slices of bread, flattened slightly as one might do with a real turd. Or, leave turd in a zip-loc in the lunch bag, sans bread. Utterly harmless (well, except to the waistline) and in fact quite tasty. I suspect a lunch thief won’t bother to open the baggie and check its authenticity though. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/252 "2009-09-09T18:37:22Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > Here are the facts. The OP kept getting his lunch stolen. He makes a catfood sandwich and puts it in the usual place. It gets stolen. The perp may or may not have eaten it, and may or may not have realized it was catfood. Today the OP brings a normal lunch, and eats later than normal, giving the perp plenty of time to steal it. It doesn’t get stolen. > > At this point since the perp has changed his habits is seems likely that they know about the catfood. Now the OP has to worry about retaliation, like bodily fluids in the sandwich or whatnot. Seriously, i think I’m going to be paranoid about my food from now on. Staple shut the bag, great idea. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/253 "2009-09-09T18:39:21Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Seriously, i think I’m going to be paranoid about my food from now on. Staple shut the bag, great idea. Or get the insulated lunchbox. One of those, possibly combined with a simple icepack, will keep your food cold. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/254 "2009-09-09T18:51:25Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > Or get the insulated lunchbox. One of those, possibly combined with a simple icepack, will keep your food cold. As sensible as that solution is it would feel like i was letting the food stealer win. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/255 "2009-09-09T18:54:18Z")
I gotta agree with the others who think the OP had better inspect his lunch from here on out.I imagine the others who used the “that’ll show em” sandwich trap ate some rather unpleasant things later on. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/256 "2009-09-09T19:00:42Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > As sensible as that solution is it would feel like i was letting the food stealer win. I think this is a no-win situation. Or if you want to be all afterschool-special about it, you win because you’re not a lunch thief. It looks to me like the insulated lunchbag with ice packs at your desk is your only reasonable solution. A person who will steal someone’s lunches when they could very well buy their own damn lunch is probably not a person who will not retaliate. Someone with that sense of entitlement tends to get really pissed when they don’t get their way. Fighting them doesn’t tend to work, unfortunately. If you found out for sure who they were, you could, say, go up to them and smush the catfood sandwich into their face, but I of course do not recommend this, as satisfying as I am sure it would be. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/257 "2009-09-09T19:02:29Z")
I’m baffled by the thought that the best way to deal with this guy is to “get even” or whatever, and not to actually catch the person. If I were in this situation I would do everything within my power to catch whoever is stealing my lunch and have their fucking ass fired. I would go as far as rigging up the lunch bag with some kind of deafening alarm that would go off if it were opened. I think that they make alarms which go off if they are disturbed; you could find one of these and set it inside the bag. If I couldn’t figure out a way to do this myself, I would find an electronics engineer (they’re everywhere) and fucking pay him to make it for me. The alarm would go off, he would be caught red-handed, and then I would immediately report him to the management and have him thrown out on his ass. Where the hell does the OP work, anyway? A giant factory, or a small building? That makes a difference, because if there’s just a small pool of potential thieves, it will be easier to narrow it down. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/258 "2009-09-09T19:08:58Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?” Hee. “I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon…” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/259 "2009-09-09T19:10:09Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > This is getting tedious. I’m not questioning \*why \*he did it. I’m questioning \*whether \*he did it. Do you see the difference? > Apologizing to anonymous posters on a message board for an act committed twenty years ago to _different people entirely_ is no apology at all. It simply isn’t. Try apologizing to some stranger on the street for stealing your neighbor’s lawnmower and see if that makes it OK. Can you take your hijack elsewhere and just PT him or something?:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/260 "2009-09-09T19:12:32Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > How in the world can he be working while living rent and utility free and not be able to afford a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter? How can he be so hungry he is forced to steal yet throw away perfectly good food? Why does he say “I don’t know” when asked a direct question about the situation? Why does he say that he wasn’t allowed to take food from the group home? He wasn’t allowed to steal lunches, but he claims he did it. The whole story is bullshit. Do you remember being a teenager? I do, and I remember having very poor impulse control. There are times when I would be doing things on autopilot. My parents would ask me why I did something and I would honestly answer “I don’t know”. For example, I parked the car on the lawn one time. I wasn’t drunk or anything. I vaguely remember thinking that someone else might want to park in the driveway and I didn’t want to block it. I don’t know why I thought that. I don’t know why I didn’t think to park on the street. But for some reason, I though parking in the front yard was the right thing to do. I could totally believe a teenager taking a lunch from a fridge strictly because he was hungry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169.md?page=14)