# People stealing my lunch, is it ok to make a cat food sandwich? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169 "2009-09-07T16:15:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/261 "2009-09-09T19:14:41Z")
Why does the South Park episode [Scott Tenorman Must Die](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Tenorman_Must_Die) keep coming to mind? ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/262 "2009-09-09T19:18:29Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I’m baffled by the thought that the best way to deal with this guy is to “get even” or whatever, and not to actually catch the person. If I were in this situation I would do everything within my power to catch whoever is stealing my lunch and have their fucking ass fired. I would go as far as rigging up the lunch bag with some kind of deafening alarm that would go off if it were opened. I feel the same way. I just remembered something that would be great for this. They sell these doorknob alarms that would be perfect. You normally hang them from the doorknob and then if anyone opens the door, it activates the alarm. But you don’t have to put it on a doorknob. It works by sensing when it’s moved. Put one of those in your lunchbag and you’d catch the crook for sure. I think stores like Walmart sell them. Here’s one on Amazon: [http://www.amazon.com/Personal-Door-Alarm-Austin-House/dp/B0009XTTVY/ref=pd\_sim\_e\_3\_img](http://www.amazon.com/Personal-Door-Alarm-Austin-House/dp/B0009XTTVY/ref=pd_sim_e_3_img) ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/263 "2009-09-09T19:18:33Z")
Congrats! While the curious and evil side of me would’ve liked to see you catch the person, preferably halfway through your cat food sandwich, at least your lunch was unmolested today. Here’s hoping he or she took the hint and it stays that way from now on. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/264 "2009-09-09T19:18:41Z")
Sometimes, you get the wrong guy. I didn’t want to hijack, but the story seems to be dying down. BTW, I did not do the following, I witnessed it. When I was first transferred to DC, (ARMY) I spent a couple of weeks in the transient barracks while finding a house off post. My first day a bunch of guys were in the kitchen glueing the bottom of a beer can. They were out to catch a beer theif and had rigged the can with urine. Later that night another new guy came in. Being late he had taken the only beer in the fridge and left a nice note and a dollar to pay for the beer and a promise to replace it tomorrow. Needless to say the nice guy said the beer tasted like piss. He took his dollar and note back. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/265 "2009-09-09T19:20:17Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I’m baffled by the thought that the best way to deal with this guy is to “get even” or whatever, and not to actually catch the person. If I were in this situation I would do everything within my power to catch whoever is stealing my lunch and have their fucking ass fired. I would go as far as rigging up the lunch bag with some kind of deafening alarm that would go off if it were opened. I think that they make alarms which go off if they are disturbed; you could find one of these and set it inside the bag. If I couldn’t figure out a way to do this myself, I would find an electronics engineer (they’re everywhere) and fucking pay him to make it for me. The alarm would go off, he would be caught red-handed, and then I would immediately report him to the management and have him thrown out on his ass. > > Where the hell does the OP work, anyway? A giant factory, or a small building? That makes a difference, because if there’s just a small pool of potential thieves, it will be easier to narrow it down. This is what I would do too. They make personal alarms that you can hang on a door knob and any movement from the door that disturbs the device sets off the alarm. (I’ve used this to keep the cat off the table too.) You can also activate the alarm by yanking the wrist-loop out of the device, which is attached to a resetable pin. My thought was to put a small hole in the bag and string the loop through and attach it to the rack in the fridge. Perp pulls out bag, pin is pulled, MOUSETRAP! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/266 "2009-09-09T19:36:05Z")
Fun as all the booby-trap ideas are, I think what I would actually do is watch the refrigerator like a hawk. The curiosity to know who was doing this would kill me otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/267 "2009-09-09T20:12:20Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Fun as all the booby-trap ideas are, I think what I would actually do is watch the refrigerator like a hawk. The curiosity to know who was doing this would kill me otherwise. Yeah, pretty much. Cat food smells so awful, almost nobody is going to just take a bite of a cat food sandwich without noticing the smell first. Even then, while gross, it’s still just cat food, so I’m not sure this revenge is all that vengeful. The theif is probably just annoyed now, and is either going to tamper with your lunch, or just start taking someone else’s. Actually catching the theif would be better. Most\* of the stories I read about the food theives actually being caught, it’s not someone who actually needs the food, but either a peer of the victim, or someone higher-up. Just someone who felt entitled to the food. \*Actually, ALL, except for the one in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![supergoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@supergoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supergoose)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/268 "2009-09-09T20:15:07Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > As sensible as that solution is it would feel like i was letting the food stealer win. But the food stealer only wins if he gets something (good) to eat, right? Keeping your lunch with you prevents that. I really doubt this person is engaged in a battle with you over your right to not have food stolen from the fridge. He’s just hungry and feels entitled. (Or she, of course.) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/269 "2009-09-09T21:02:23Z")
If this were a novel, someone at the office would die. It turns out that person was a 'Doper. But the lunch thefts continue… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/270 "2009-09-09T21:06:35Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Sometimes, you get the wrong guy. I didn’t want to hijack, but the story seems to be dying down. > > BTW, I did not do the following, I witnessed it. > > When I was first transferred to DC, (ARMY) I spent a couple of weeks in the transient barracks while finding a house off post. > My first day a bunch of guys were in the kitchen glueing the bottom of a beer can. They were out to catch a beer theif and had rigged the can with urine. > > Later that night another new guy came in. Being late he had taken the only beer in the fridge and left a nice note and a dollar to pay for the beer and a promise to replace it tomorrow. > > Needless to say the nice guy said the beer tasted like piss. He took his dollar and note back. I don’t think it’s the same as DigitalC’s situation. I can’t imagine a new person walking into the office, taking his lunch, and leaving money and a nice note in return. Still doesn’t transition over to his situation, the person is still doing the equivalent of stealing imo. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/271 "2009-09-09T21:35:56Z")
The habeneros would work, but if you just want to see who starts piling food out of their mouth, mix it with 10x the salt you would actually want. We discovered at the pizza restaurant I worked at that the best joke soda-spike was not jalapenos, but salt. People just marched over to the sink and spat. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/272 "2009-09-09T21:39:24Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Seriously, i think I’m going to be paranoid about my food from now on. Staple shut the bag, great idea. It’s a start, maybe. I think you need something more sophisticated. A staple remover, re-stapling carefully—it could still be tampered with and you wouldn’t know. > [@DigitalC](#): > > As sensible as that solution is it would feel like i was letting the food stealer win. He/She has you stapling your lunch shut now. I don’t know if he/she has won but you’ve lost something. If you had some simple data, you might be able to deduce it, or at least narrow it down, like a game of Clue. E.g. Day 1: 8:00 AM, you put lunch in fridge. Alice, Bob, Carol, Dan, and Ed were the only ones in the breakroom up until the time your lunch went missing. Day 2: 8:00 AM, you put lunch in fridge. Alice, Bob, Carol were the only ones in the breakroom up until the time your lunch went missing. Day 3: 8:00 AM, you put lunch in fridge. Carol, Dan, and Ed were the only ones in the breakroom up until the time your lunch went missing. Assuming a lone thief, it’s Carol. She was the only one who was there all three times. I don’t know how busy your break room is, whether you could monitor it closely enough to know, etc. I’d watch for someone who goes in alone…I think most wouldn’t steal in front of someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/273 "2009-09-09T21:43:10Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > A variant on the dog poop idea: > > Take some brownies. Pinch off bits and roll into balls. Press balls together and mush into, well, a turd-like shape. The results can be surprisingly realistic (we did this to a friend’s kid sister when we were youngsters; sis ate some, then we told her it was poop). > > Place “turd” between two slices of bread, flattened slightly as one might do with a real turd. Or, leave turd in a zip-loc in the lunch bag, sans bread. > > Utterly harmless (well, except to the waistline) and in fact quite tasty. I suspect a lunch thief won’t bother to open the baggie and check its authenticity though. If you want authenticity don’t forget to mash some corn into it. Label the baggie with a lab address and triple bag it for effect. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/274 "2009-09-09T23:26:06Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > If you want authenticity don’t forget to mash some corn into it. Label the baggie with a lab address and triple bag it for effect. If you want to find the thief then hide a [key finder](http://www.keyringer.com/) inside the fake turd. Wait for turd-lunch to disappear and then locate the thief. Upon locating your turd, take a bite out of it in front of the thief with a “children of the corn” blank stare. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/275 "2009-09-09T23:42:16Z")
> [@Rodd\_Hill](#): > > An iStab. I just spat catfood all over my screen. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/276 "2009-09-09T23:44:27Z")
So Digi - did anyone call in sick today? I once buttered a yellow kitchen sponge that looked similar to a piece of toast - my mates dad took a huge horse-toothed bite out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/277 "2009-09-10T02:38:09Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Fun as all the booby-trap ideas are, I think what I would actually do is watch the refrigerator like a hawk. The curiosity to know who was doing this would kill me otherwise. You can’t just stand around there watching because the thief isn’t going to steal the lunch if he knows you’re there. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/278 "2009-09-10T04:08:40Z")
**Argent Towers** suggested what I had been planning to post. Get one of [these](http://www.streetdefender.com/MC-223-S.htm) and rig it with a hair trigger. Tape it to the bottom of the sack and the lanyard to the sandwich bag. Someone innocently moves bag, no problem. Thief takes sandwich out of the bag and everyone in the area knows something is up. I’d also have modified it so that it can’t be easily shut off. ---
**Author:** ![Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9adbd/32.png) [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fell_through_the_Ice)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/279 "2009-09-10T04:34:41Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > put a small hole in the bag and string the loop through and attach it to the rack in the fridge. Perp pulls out bag, pin is pulled, MOUSETRAP! (Former lunch-stealer here) This would have frightened me badly. Good idea. ---
**Author:** ![Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9adbd/32.png) [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fell_through_the_Ice)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/280 "2009-09-10T19:51:21Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Fun as all the booby-trap ideas are, I think what I would actually do is watch the refrigerator like a hawk. The curiosity to know who was doing this would kill me otherwise. Um, what is the OP supposed to do, spend the entire day in the breakroom? :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169.md?page=15)