# People stealing my lunch, is it ok to make a cat food sandwich? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169 "2009-09-07T16:15:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/301 "2009-09-12T11:37:11Z")
I’m suddenly reminded of this joke I heard one time about someone whose lunch kept being stolen. Sandwich, soup, whatever, it was often taken. So the guy put a note on his soup container that said: “I spit in this soup.” Come lunchtime, the soup was still there, but with a new note: “So did I.” ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/302 "2009-09-12T11:51:54Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Did we determine that the Bad Guy knows who the OP is? > [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > I don’t think that’s established. In the interest of safety, it seems wisest to assume the perpetrator knows. It would be great if not, but absent knowing that for certain… As was mentioned many posts back, the OP should continue with the booby-trapped lunches, but bring his real lunch and keep it at his desk. If he’s accused of trying to ‘poison’ his lunch-thief co-worker, he can pull out his real lunch and claim innocence. And then ask why the LT is stealing someone else’s lunch. No matter what, if the LT tried to accuse someone of a booby-trapped lunch, he’ll have to admit to stealing it in the first place. Or, even better, go ahead and claim ownership of the catfood sandwich. Say you bought it at a high-end petstore and that it’s for your cat, Mr. Fluffykins. Act sad that Mr. Fluffykins will now go hungry. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/303 "2009-09-12T11:59:16Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I’m baffled by the thought that the best way to deal with this guy is to “get even” or whatever, and not to actually catch the person. If I were in this situation I would do everything within my power to catch whoever is stealing my lunch and have their fucking ass fired. I would go as far as rigging up the lunch bag with some kind of deafening alarm that would go off if it were opened. I think that they make alarms which go off if they are disturbed; you could find one of these and set it inside the bag. If I couldn’t figure out a way to do this myself, I would find an electronics engineer (they’re everywhere) and fucking pay him to make it for me. The alarm would go off, he would be caught red-handed, and then I would immediately report him to the management and have him thrown out on his ass. > > Where the hell does the OP work, anyway? A giant factory, or a small building? That makes a difference, because if there’s just a small pool of potential thieves, it will be easier to narrow it down. My fear with something like that, is that the alarm would go off, the whole office would walk over to see what it was, and there would be your bad guy (let’s just assume you caught the right person and not just someone moving the lunch or being nosey and looking in it), and you’d dance and laugh and point and shout and make a scene. Then you’d run down to HR and tell them you caught the lunch thief and everyone’s been getting their lunches stolen and everyone saw this happen and now they can finally fire the thief…my fear would be that after all that, HR would roll their eyes and tell you that stealing lunches isn’t a fireable offense, or they’d write him up for it and that would be it (but, hey, catch him doing it 2 more times within a year and then they’ll fire him) Before I did something like that, I may consider talking to HR first and finding out if there’s any repercussions for stealing other employees food. I’d hate to make a big scene and then still have to work next to the guy. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/304 "2009-09-12T12:48:39Z")
Just bring this little guy to work to sniff out the cat-food sandwich thief: [http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x751rj\_impatient-kitty\_animals](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x751rj_impatient-kitty_animals) ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/305 "2009-09-12T15:57:59Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > My fear with something like that, is that the alarm would go off, the whole office would walk over to see what it was, and there would be your bad guy (let’s just assume you caught the right person and not just someone moving the lunch or being nosey and looking in it), and you’d dance and laugh and point and shout and make a scene. Then you’d run down to HR and tell them you caught the lunch thief and everyone’s been getting their lunches stolen and everyone saw this happen and now they can finally fire the thief…my fear would be that after all that, HR would roll their eyes and tell you that stealing lunches isn’t a fireable offense, or they’d write him up for it and that would be it (but, hey, catch him doing it 2 more times within a year and then they’ll fire him) > Before I did something like that, I may consider talking to HR first and finding out if there’s any repercussions for stealing other employees food. > I’d hate to make a big scene and then still have to work next to the guy. Or worse, the OP admits having set a trap and sabotaging his food. The thief then sez “I have no idea of what he’s talking about I just moved this lunch bag to get at the ketchup”, and thiefy is a higher up. OP is fired on the spot- with cause. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/306 "2009-09-12T17:57:54Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Tuna that is packaged for human consumption doesn’t smell nearly as strongly as canned cat food, even non-tuna cat food. I think that the cat food manufacturers purposely make it extra smelly to tempt cats. As the feeder of three cats, though, I will tell you that cats will gladly consume tuna packaged for human consumption, as well as that which is packaged for feline consumption. Their only complaint is that they usually don’t get as much as they’d like. > > Cat food tuna seems to be made of the darker tuna flesh. Human food tuna is light or white tuna. I can tell you that cats will consume a LOT of food “packaged for human consumption.” 😉 Maybe you could make a sandwich with some kind of candy that turns your mouth blue? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2009, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/307 "2009-09-13T13:12:39Z")
Some years ago, we shared a floor with a Govt Dept. The fridge used to get pretty full and often there remained fungus ridden, crappy looking shit. One day I just tossed it all out and cleaned up. I thought I did a good job and was walking back when I ran into a person from the Govt Dept. I asked where he was going and he said he was about to collect the lunches from the fridge for the visiting Vietnamese delegation. I just kept walking. ---
**Author:** ![4everkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/76d3ee/32.png) [@4everkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4everkid)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/308 "2009-09-15T01:42:23Z")
DigitalC, may I offer you this suggestion for any future problems you might encounter: [Scroll to #9](http://lifehacker.com/5357929/top-10-tactics-for-protecting-your-stuff) ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/309 "2009-09-17T22:27:12Z")
So, how did lunch go this week? ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/310 "2009-09-18T03:02:01Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > So, how did lunch go this week? Well so far so good i guess. I still feel like Leonardo DiCaprio in The Departed in that i am not sure exactly who to trust at this point, but my lunch has been left alone so far. As far as i can tell that is, im still slightly paranoid about any retribution attempts. ---
**Author:** ![Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Picard_Kills_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/311 "2009-09-18T04:03:35Z")
Brown bags and staples are available from many sources, probably even in your own office. If someone fed me a cat food sandwich, I might go to a little expense to pass off my dog food sandwich back onto them. I might go through the expense of buying some brown bags and staples. I think you should write on the bag too, so you can tell if it’s the original bag or not. Maybe staple the bag in a different pattern for every day of the week? Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![ianjohnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@ianjohnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianjohnson)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/312 "2009-09-18T05:21:21Z")
Write on the bottom of the bag, so it’s not obvious. A sticker from home might be better than staples, because it wouldn’t be replaceable in the office. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/313 "2009-09-18T13:19:44Z")
At work about 12 years ago, I took an ice cream sandwich that didn’t belong to me. The box had been sitting unopened for months so I figured it had been abandoned. > [@4everkid](#): > > DigitalC, may I offer you this suggestion for any future problems you might encounter: > [Scroll to #9](http://lifehacker.com/5357929/top-10-tactics-for-protecting-your-stuff) Post #14. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/314 "2009-09-18T13:59:01Z")
> [@lute skywatcher](#): > > at work about 12 years ago, i took an ice cream sandwich that didn’t belong to me. The box had been sitting unopened for months so i figured it had been abandoned. Thief! Kitten killer! ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/315 "2009-09-18T16:07:55Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I’m suddenly reminded of this joke I heard one time about someone whose lunch kept being stolen. Sandwich, soup, whatever, it was often taken. So the guy put a note on his soup container that said: “I spit in this soup.” Come lunchtime, the soup was still there, but with a new note: “So did I.” [This](http://imaletyoufinish.com/kanye-will-let-the-hamburglar-finish/) is one of the best office fridge notes of all time. OF ALL TIME! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/316 "2009-09-18T17:54:34Z")
> [@PotLuck](#): > > [This](http://imaletyoufinish.com/kanye-will-let-the-hamburglar-finish/) is one of the best office fridge notes of all time. OF ALL TIME! I’m missing something here. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/317 "2009-09-18T17:59:54Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I’m missing something here. 😕 West [got a little crazy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_MTV_Video_Music_Awards#Kanye_West_controversy_and_debated_incidents) at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/318 "2009-11-26T18:16:25Z")
So- it has been two months. Updates? ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/319 "2009-11-26T21:39:25Z")
Would it still be illegal to poison your lunch if you wrote “WARNING – CONTAINS POISON! DO NOT EAT!!!” all over it? I don’t see how anyone could call that a trap. My hypothetical solution – make a poison sandwich, and include the appropriate warning labels. If it doesn’t get eaten, you can just start putting those labels on your regular lunch and trust that it, too, will be left alone. If it does get eaten . . . problem solved? ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/320 "2009-11-26T21:39:32Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Someone keeps grabbing my lunch of the fridge despite repeated signs and requests to stop, and i want revenge. I assume there’s nothing dangerous or unsafe for human consumption in cat food and a sign reading “that sandwich you stole last week was made with cat food” would go a long way in stopping the thefts. Am i an asshole for thinking about this? can i get sued for it? I understand i might get fired but at this point i think it would be worth it. Not having read the (many, many) responses: I’d make a tuna sandwich, mince the tuna VERY, VERY fine, somehow document that it wasn’t really cat food, maybe video myself making it, then do what you propose. Fuck, if it were me, I wouldn’t even have CONSIDERED that I might get fired or sued, I’d have made just a big-ass Friskies sandwich… ETA: I like the hot hot hot sauce ideas better. Joe [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169.md?page=17)