# People stealing my lunch, is it ok to make a cat food sandwich? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169 "2009-09-07T16:15:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/121 "2009-09-08T19:22:48Z")
> [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](#): > > Well, as I said, I was a teenager living in a group-home situation. Think modern-day orpahange (not troubled teen or rehab or anything). > > We only got 30 minutes or whatever for lunch. I have no idea if there was a “soup kitchen” open for lunch nearby. Either this was not an option or obviously it never occured to me. > > I don’t think teens who are a ward of the state are eligable for food stamps. In any case, I’d never even heard of food stamps. Again, I was 17, living in a group home. > > As far as “deciding to swipe” lunches instead of…whatever. I didn’t go to work plotting to steal lunches. It was just that around lunchtime I became so hungry I couldn’t think straight, and having no lunch of my own I just ended up stealing food. ☹ I still don’t understand. Why didn’t you just buy a loaf of bread and peanut butter or something? It doesn’t seem that difficult to do and just comes across as incredibly lazy to me. You got paid at least minimum wage, right? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/122 "2009-09-08T19:24:18Z")
How about grinding up a Viagra tablet in your tuna fish? Bet the perp will stick out like a sore, er, thumb afterward. ---
**Author:** ![Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9adbd/32.png) [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fell_through_the_Ice)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/123 "2009-09-08T19:30:38Z")
> [@nikonikosuru](#): > > I still don’t understand. Why didn’t you just buy a loaf of bread and peanut butter or something? It doesn’t seem that difficult to do and just comes across as incredibly lazy to me. You got paid at least minimum wage, right? Good question. I honestly don’t know. It may have been that I wasn’t allowed to have my own food at the group home. But possibly I could have stored the bread and PB at work? I just don’t remember. It could also have been that I had poor life-skills, no sense of planning ahead, or just (unrealistically) thought that I could make it through the day till dinner time without lunch. And failed at this. Frequently. As far as money, I just recall never having any at that time. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/124 "2009-09-08T19:31:12Z")
> [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](#): > > Honestly, I don’t recall. This was over 25 years ago. I vaguely recall we were not allowed to have any food in our rooms, or remove food from the dining hall. So maybe not, I just don’t remember. That suggests that they fed you. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/125 "2009-09-08T19:36:10Z")
> [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](#): > > It could also have been that I had poor life-skills, no sense of planning ahead, or just (unrealistically) thought that I could make it through the day till dinner time without lunch. And failed at this. Frequently. As a mom of teenagers, this rings true to me. ---
**Author:** ![prettydorky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@prettydorky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prettydorky)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/126 "2009-09-08T19:38:20Z")
> [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](#): > > Wow, how does the thief not get caught microwaving it in the kitchen? This is exactly what I had edited out of my earlier post. I don’t know what these people do, other than maybe absconding to another floor to do the nuking. We also had someone get fired for sending a mass email to the WHOLE company inviting whomever had stolen his $11 lunch to meet him in the parking lot. That was years ago, but the effect has been that now nobody wants to say anything. > [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](#): > > Also, how would the legit owner of the lunch not get this staining powder on their own hands? My thinking is similar to someone else up there who said put the anonymous lunch in the fridge and keep the real lunch under their desk. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/127 "2009-09-08T19:46:07Z")
> [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](#): > > Also, people saying “spike it with Dave’s Insanity”, wasabi powder, dog shit, etc etc. um, do you folks not inspect and sniff your food before stuffing it in your mouth? I imagine that most lunch-stealers would open up the sandwich and carefully inspect it, smell it, and only if it passed muster would they take a tiny bite. They wouldn’t My new idea: wasabi paste in the sammich, but include a mostly empty\* container of guacamole in your lunch, so they think it’s just guacamole. \*That shit’s expensive, yo! I’d eat most of it myself before making it the sacrificial lamb. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/128 "2009-09-08T19:58:35Z")
Of course, now DigitalC finds out that it was the insanely hot guy/gal that he/she was hoping to talk to that had been stealing his lunch - with the hopes that he/she would get caught, because, while they are insanely hot, they are also incredibly shy, and needed someway to get a conversation started with him/her. They had been stealing the lunch as a way to get closer - having thier meals fixed by the object of thier distant desires. They are also deathly alergic to cat food. Or maybe not - you decide which of these two would be worse - you may have just sealed thier love for you, and you think what they like is gross. That’s what they call irony. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/129 "2009-09-08T20:08:54Z")
I wonder if it’s just some jackass who doesn’t like DigitalC, who doesn’t steal the lunch, but just merely throws it away. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/130 "2009-09-08T20:13:02Z")
I have worked here for eleven years, and not ONCE has someone taken my lunch. Either I work with a bunch of professional adults or I make really boring sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/131 "2009-09-08T20:23:07Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Dog Shit Sandwich = assault. Really? So. . .what if you have some sorta strange fetish and you like to eat strange, noxious things? What if you have severe constipation and put Exlax on your sandwich as a way of medicating yourself? What if you are a slob and leave some potato salad out in the sun for a few hours before putting it in your lunch? Doesn’t intent count? ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/132 "2009-09-08T20:28:20Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I have worked here for eleven years, and not ONCE has someone taken my lunch. Either I work with a bunch of professional adults or I make really boring sandwiches. nm ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/133 "2009-09-08T20:29:03Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I have worked here for eleven years, and not ONCE has someone taken my lunch. Either I work with a bunch of professional adults or I make really boring sandwiches. Or you have a fierce rep that no cowardly sandwich thief is willing to mess with. [arms akimbo][chest thrust out][looking up into the distance][trumpet fanfare]Ivylass: protector of sandwiches everywhere![/arms akimbo][/chest thrust out][/looking up into the distance][/trumpet fanfare] ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/134 "2009-09-08T20:30:03Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Really? So. . .what if you have some sorta strange fetish and you like to eat strange, noxious things? What if you have severe constipation and put Exlax on your sandwich as a way of medicating yourself? What if you are a slob and leave some potato salad out in the sun for a few hours before putting it in your lunch? > > Doesn’t intent count? But here the intent is to upset the thief. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/135 "2009-09-08T20:35:14Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > But here the intent is to upset the thief. But surely that would not be what I would tell the police. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/136 "2009-09-08T20:37:37Z")
> [@simster](#): > > Of course, now DigitalC finds out that it was the insanely hot guy/gal that he/she was hoping to talk to that had been stealing his lunch - with the hopes that he/she would get caught, because, while they are insanely hot, they are also incredibly shy, and needed someway to get a conversation started with him/her. > > They had been stealing the lunch as a way to get closer - having thier meals fixed by the object of thier distant desires. > > They are also deathly alergic to cat food. Or maybe not - you decide which of these two would be worse - you may have just sealed thier love for you, and you think what they like is gross. > > That’s what they call irony. Thank goodness! Saved from a doomed and desperately dysfunctional relationship! I can’t wait to hear if there’s any response. Is your plan to put up a sign tomorrow? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/137 "2009-09-08T20:46:33Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Or you have a fierce rep that no cowardly sandwich thief is willing to mess with. > > [arms akimbo][chest thrust out][looking up into the distance][trumpet fanfare]Ivylass: protector of sandwiches everywhere![/arms akimbo][/chest thrust out][/looking up into the distance][/trumpet fanfare] No one’s ever stolen my lunch either. I’m going to chalk this up to my being an unadulterated badass. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/138 "2009-09-08T20:52:12Z")
No one’s ever stolen my lunch, but in 7th grade bio class someone stole my dead frog. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Righteous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Dr.Righteous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Righteous)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/139 "2009-09-08T20:56:04Z")
A while back I had HALF of a sandwich stolen at work… it was turkey on wheat, but slathered with a hot mustard. I can only assume that the thief found it to be too hot for them to eat the other half - guess my love of spicy food comes in handy for something. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169/140 "2009-09-08T20:58:49Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > No one’s ever stolen my lunch, but in 7th grade bio class someone stole my dead frog. Are you sure it didn’t suddenly come to life and jump off, singing, a la Michigan J. Frog? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-stealing-my-lunch-is-it-ok-to-make-a-cat-food-sandwich/509169.md?page=8)