One aspect of going bald in my 20’s is that it wasn’t an “old” thing. Just the inexorable tide of genetics. But apart from that, I apparently look younger than my 42 years. If I wear a hat, I get carded at the store. Dude, I turned 21 twentyone years ago. The age is starting to show in gray beard hair, though. And in the way I feel.
That’s a fun little moment for me, when some cute young thing cards me at the supermarket and is shocked as she realizes I’m as old as her dad. LOL
For most of my life I looked younger than I was - the aunt of one of my friends wasn’t going to let me into my friend’s party when we were 18 because I looked too young; she was not being complimentary, I had to show her my driver’s license before she’d believe I was over 12.
But in my 40s I’ve started to look my age. Mostly it’s because I’m getting neck wrinkles. The rest of me still looks reasonably youthful. But my neck, including lower jawline, looks ancient. The dentist thought I might have some thyroid problem, it’s so weird looking. But the doctor couldn’t find anything with an ultrasound.
This is genetic, too, I think - my mother, 70, recently had her first plastic surgery. I guess you’d call it a neck lift. Too funny.
Y’all realize many places have a policy of carding everyone? Some places also have policies of carding everyone who appears younger than 40. If it makes you feel better there are even places that card you if you look younger than 30.
What’s fun is I live in a place that was formally dry until about two years ago. Businesses that sell booze are extra careful to card. One clerk at the supermarket laughingly told me if a person gets huffy about being carded once the clerk sees the ID and knows the age, the customer is told that 30 is the cutoff age when it’s really 40. It apparently works a treat on anyone under 40!
I’m glad somebody chimed in with this. There are so many people I know who have convinced themselves that they really look much younger than they are! And to me they look their age. My ex-FIL always told us stories of being mistaken for someone in his early 50’s (he’s 76). It’s so laughable. Clearly, people often make their elders feel better by saying this stuff, but people like ex-FIL are not “in on the joke.”
Probably because of the above. For a long time, I thought I looked younger than my age. Then someone on another board said, well, no—you look good, but you look your age. And I think s/he was right.
I think it’s just that I look a shit-ton younger than my mother did at this age. But I don’t look younger than my friends who have similar lifestyles (reasonable healthy eating, lots of exercise, wear sunscreen, don’t smoke, etc).
So while I’d love to look younger, it’s actually probably more meaningful that I look like I take good care of myself.
Long ago, I had a friend who worked at a convenience store. She had to card every single person who came in to buy cigarettes, even if they appeared to be 117 years old.
I look younger than my age (43). Several things help, I think. Good genetics, my mother looks way younger than her 70 years of age. (Probably looked to be in her late 50s until she grew her hair out last year… its almost all white with a bit of brown, looks odd to me) but her sisters all look considerably older. (Well not the one who is 20 years younger… she still looks younger than mom) I think its because most of them smoked and drank heavily, sun bathed and had bad marriages …lots of stress.
Well I have had one bad marriage, but it didn’t last long. I don’t suntan, I don’t smoke, I am an extremely moderate drinker. I also have a 9 year old son, which makes people think I am younger, (not so much here in Vancouver, but in Thunder Bay most people have their kids young) I play and and act silly. I don’t wear makeup and favour jeans and t-shirts. I feel I project “young” or at least insecure.
Then there are also the extra pounds and oily skin. I do have laugh lines and need reading glasses but ssssshhh! no one needs to know that, do they?
When I was 13 and had big boobs, I looked older than my age. Since my early 30s, I’ve looked younger, at least according to the people who insist I don’t look old enough to have grown kids and grandkids.
My sister looks closer to her real age. I really think the difference is due to me being blonde/pale/untanned and her being brunette/dark/deeply tanned. All those years in the sun really take a toll on your skin as you age.
My joints and lower back sure don’t feel 22 anymore. On the other hand, I hardly ever get sick anymore, either, so I won’t complain.
My mom is 63 and could easily pass for ten years younger. You can count on one hand the number of gray hairs she has.
I’ve had gray hairs since I was a teenager, but I’m a redhead so it just looks like highlights. I don’t think I can pass for ten years younger, but I don’t look like I’m pushing 40 either, so I got some of Mom’s good genes.
I also stay out of the sun, don’t drink much or smoke at all, that probably helps.
There was a state representative who recently got in trouble driving drunk with an illegal handgun and a college girl who wasn’t his wife on the way back to her apartment. So of course it made the papers. The thing is, that guy went to school with my husband and is actually a few years younger, which fact I cheerfully used to shock and amaze people all week. (Ted Vick, if you live in South Carolina.) He looks at LEAST ten years older.
It’s the clean living.
I’d agree with this, but so few people take care of themselves that younger people still associate how those people look with whatever age you are. When someone’s shocked I’m the same age as their dad, it’s because dad looks like hell. An old boss of mine is 2 years older than me, but he’s 60lbs overweight, walks with a limp due to gout, has had heart surgery, and wears a comb-over. To his 4 sons and their friends, that’s what late 40s/early 50s looks like, so they don’t think I’m more fit, they figure I’m younger, and will look like him eventually. When you’re young and those numbers are twice your lifespan, it seems reasonable that people are so broken down. I think I was in my 30s before I realized that just because I was getting older didn’t mean I had to be decrepit.
People are surprised when they meet my dad and find out he’s 70.
They’re equally surprised to find out his mom is 97.
Me? I got mistaken for the mother of my best friend, who is two years younger than I am. To be fair, she had several pimples that day and was wearing her hair in twin ponytails, and looked way younger than her mid-30s at the time, but still…
My doctor is shocked every time he sees me, that I’m 45; he always assumes I’m in my 30s still. I was overweight 15 years ago, but not anymore, so it’s not babyface. I’ve had acne since 12, and on medication that makes me sensitive to sun, so I think that staying out of the sun for decades has left me with fewer of the wrinkles and lines that the sunworshippers get.
Also, no kids: everyone my age that I know with kids looks their age… if not older. Particularly the ones with teens.
And what a compliment it must be to hear how young you look from a service provider!
I think I look my age (23- 24 in a month), but I’ve kind of looked the same since I was 13ish. People who’ve seen old pictures of me have said that I aged really fast in my teens and then stopped.
I have oily skin, don’t drink, smoke, do drugs or go tanning plus I have a skincare routine so hopefully that’ll help me continue to look my age. I have had one person think I had grey hairs though. My hair is dyed red but I’m naturally dark blonde, so I think my natural hair color just looked greyish next to the red.
My grandfather looked very young well into his 70s although he cheated by dying his hair. Strangers thought my grandma was his mother and my mom was his wife. He and my uncle were mistaken for a couple on a few occasions when they traveled together. My mom said she would tell people he had a portrait in his attic and no one understood the joke (Picture of Dorian Grey reference) .He finally let his hair go natural plus has numerous health problems that have aged him a lot in his 80s.
I think kids age you quick. Since my son was born 2 years ago, I’ve aged visibly and rapidly. There are certainly no more comments from strangers under-estimating my age.
Evidently it’s not uncommon to not be in on the joke. 
Bolding mine.
I suspect there’s some regional variation to that. Certainly there’s a socioeconomic one—poverty ages people by making it more difficult to eat well, exercise, etc. I don’t really want to get into a debate about that. But in terms of regions…I live in Boston, which is a college city and a fairly active one. I wonder if my “looks just about average for mid-forties” here would be “OMG, you’re kidding! You look so young!” in a part of the country or the world where fewer people are working out daily and “OMG, you’re kidding! I thought you were fifty!” in areas where more people walk than drive and eat less than we do in America.