# People who are just plain sorry **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 14, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405 "2005-03-14T03:52:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405/41 "2005-03-21T13:03:24Z")
A car pulled up next to me at a stoplight yesterday. Someone in the back seat rolled the window down and started pitching out double handfuls of fast-food garbage. I hate people. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405/42 "2005-03-21T15:34:39Z")
Sorry, if I had an infant, I wouldn’t leave him sit in the car while I run across the lot to return my cart. They do have employees at the grocery who periodically go out and collect carts from the lot. It’s not the grave injustice some of you are making it out to be. However, I do not have an infant, and I almost always put my cart in the corral. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405/43 "2005-03-21T16:00:27Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Sorry, if I had an infant, I wouldn’t leave him sit in the car while I run across the lot to return my cart. They do have employees at the grocery who periodically go out and collect carts from the lot. It’s not the grave injustice some of you are making it out to be. > > However, I do not have an infant, and I almost always put my cart in the corral. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t. I just don’t understand this. How is it that much more work or that bad to carry your baby (not that you have one) 😉 with you back to the cart corral? If the weather was not detrimental to the baby to and from the store - why is that extra minute to return the cart too much? _shrugs_ ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405/44 "2005-03-21T16:25:15Z")
> [@evilbeth](#): > > I have taken this one step further. > > I return carts, pick up litter, hold doors open, etc. > > However, I also call people on it when I see them leaving their garbage, not returning their carts, being rude. > > Now, I don’t yell, “Hey, asshole!” across a parking lot when I see a sorry person pushing his cart over to the side but I will walk over, grab the cart and return it while telling the person, “No, that’s okay, I’ll get it for you _this_ time since you seem too tired to walk all the way over there.” > > When I see people walking through a door that someone has held open for them (usually me) and not thanking the person, I just respond with a loud-enough “You’re welcome.” > > I’m not calling out a fight–I am simply reminding these people of their behavior in a nice but pointed way. Is it going to work? Much of the time, no. But just doing it for them is going to serve even less purpose. The more someone picks up after them the more thay can justify not doing it themsleves. > > Now, so far as people talking loudly on cell phones or screaming loudly at children in public places, I cater to them. I do exactly what they want–I stare. They obviously want to draw attention to themselves–why else would they be so obviously intrusive and obnoxious? And I have told more than one person that is precisely the reason I am staring. They wanted attention, they got it. > > **Passive-aggressive, you say?** > > Damn right. But it sure as hell beats being an insensitive, obnoxious, self-absorbed, sorry individual. No, I’m pretty sure that’s regular old aggresive. It’s just pretending to be nice when you know your intention is to humiliate people. Now, I’m not saying people couldn’t use some manners. But if I was walking towards a door you got to first, you opened and held open, I might nod. I might smile. Or I might be so worried about my kid at home with explosive diahhrea and wondering where the Pedialyte is stocked that I don’t acknowledge you, especially if I’m one of several people walking through the door you chose to open. I might not be returning my cart because someone else is waiting for my parking spot and the good I can do getting out of the way is greater than the harm I cause by making a cart boy do his job. (City parking lots, not many spaces, bad traffic jams result.) I might be using my cell-phone to check with the hospital that my infant in intensive care is still breathing in the few moments I have to pick up a dozen eggs and some milk. If you’re going to be nice, be nice. Don’t be nice expecting accolades for it. It pretty much negates your sacrifice. (And, FTR, I’m a shopping cart putter-awayer, reaching of high things for short people, garbage cleaner, do-gooder myself. I just don’t expect anyone else to acknowledge or change because of it.) [Quote=Lady of the Lake] : > [@Indygrrl](#): > > Sorry, if I had an infant, I wouldn’t leave him sit in the car while I run across the lot to return my cart. They do have employees at the grocery who periodically go out and collect carts from the lot. It’s not the grave injustice some of you are making it out to be. > > However, I do not have an infant, and I almost always put my cart in the corral. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t. > > I just don’t understand this. > > How is it that much more work or that bad to carry your baby (not that you have one) with you back to the cart corral? If the weather was not detrimental to the baby to and from the store - why is that extra minute to return the cart too much? Look, do you want our kids clean, not screaming and well-behaved and well-disciplined (as evidenced by other gripes in this thread) or do you want the damn cart put away every time? It’s not always possible to do both. Kids have their own agendas. Sometimes that extra minute is the minute a temper tantrum starts, and then we’re ragged on for having a screaming kid in the middle of the parking lot! There’s no winning, sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405/45 "2005-03-21T16:30:43Z")
The grave injustice is in the $500 dent in the side of my car because someone carelessly left a cart in the parking lot which allowed the wind to roll it into my car door. From the retailers perspective, I’m sure that they could use that labor that they now use to send people out to the parking lot periodically to clean up after their patrons for a more productive task. No, it’s not a federal offense but it’s clearly inconsiderate of others. There’s just no logical reason to not put your cart away after you use it. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405/46 "2005-03-21T16:31:47Z")
Oops, I forgot to quote **Indygrrl’s** post above that I was responding too. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405/47 "2005-03-21T17:45:20Z")
Had an odd reversal situation a few days ago. Luckilly it didn’t turn out too badly. I was pulling into a parking lot at the supermarket, and noticed a close, open spot. After I pulled in, and got out of the car, a guy pulled up behind me and said, “I can’t believe you just did that!” “Did what?” I querried. “I was waiting for that space, and you whipped around me and took it!” I think he was expecting to start a fight, because when I said, “Oh, jeez, I didn’t see you. I can give you the space if you like?” He just seemed stunned. After about a moment or three of indecision while I stood by the driver’s side door, he just shook his head, and said, “No, that’s all right.” We crossed paths in the store. He studiously avoided eye contact. I still felt bad, but at least I tried to be nice and give the guy options! ---
**Author:** ![slu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@slu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slu)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405/48 "2005-03-21T21:57:39Z")
> [@evilbeth](#): > > I have taken this one step further. > > However, I also call people on it when I see them leaving their garbage, not returning their carts, being rude. > > Now, I don’t yell, “Hey, asshole!” across a parking lot when I see a sorry person pushing his cart over to the side but I will walk over, grab the cart and return it while telling the person, “No, that’s okay, I’ll get it for you _this_ time since you seem too tired to walk all the way over there.” > > When I see people walking through a door that someone has held open for them (usually me) and not thanking the person, I just respond with a loud-enough “You’re welcome.” > > \*\*I’m not calling out a fight–I am simply reminding these people of their behavior in a nice but pointed way. \*\* > > Passive-aggressive, you say? > > Damn right. But it sure as hell beats being an insensitive, obnoxious, self-absorbed, sorry individual. People like you piss me off even more than the people being pitted in this thread. What you do is neither nice nor passive, and I am surprised you have not gotten yourself into trouble with this attitude. While the behavior described in this thread is rude, this is in fact the most obnoxious and self-absorbed of all. Now I am not the type to leave carts in the lot, etc, but if I did something that you felt needed to be “corrected”, and you called me out on it in this fashion, you’d get quite an earful back from me, as it seems you are the one looking for attention. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-are-just-plain-sorry/294405.md?page=2)