# People who claim that wanting to date a beauty is shallow **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2015, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941 "2015-10-17T22:31:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![northporlarbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7bcc69/32.png) [@northporlarbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/northporlarbear)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/1 "2015-10-17T22:31:24Z")
People who claim that wanting to date a beauty is shallow. What do you think about them? As for me, they are the one with shallow thinking. As far as my logic goes, it is not about “as long as they look good, I don’t care about anything else”. It is just that, while I care about personality & whatever, I “also” care about the look. I just know what I want. Look alone isn’t good. However, “good inner beauty” or whatever alone isn’t good enough neither. I want it all. Also, if I have to have less of something, I would rather date a beauty with “normal brain-size” than some not-so-beautiful girl with an in-depth insight. Unlike the popular notion that “if your breasts are big or your face is pretty, you got nothing going on inside”, beauties are just like non-beautiful people in the inside. Many beauties are both beautiful outside & has depth inside. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/2 "2015-10-17T22:45:01Z")
I think Jewish girls are hot. ---
**Author:** ![northporlarbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7bcc69/32.png) [@northporlarbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/northporlarbear)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/3 "2015-10-17T22:57:21Z")
I am more into the typical blonde Noric type, but to each his own. ---
**Author:** ![CerebrAl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@CerebrAl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CerebrAl)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/4 "2015-10-17T22:59:13Z")
Please explain what exactly you mean by “date”. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/5 "2015-10-17T23:02:57Z")
> [@northporlarbear](#): > > I am more into the typical blonde Noric type, but to each his own. Have you had much success with Noric girls in the past? Do you have hopes that you will, when your voice eventually breaks? Tell us your strategies. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/6 "2015-10-17T23:17:32Z")
In dating and romantic relationships it is easy to fall into the trap of seeing someone as an object to use to further your own ends and not as a person with their own feelings/goals/personality/hopes. Scores of people who have a lot to offer in the dating market run into this problem. Attractive people, wealthy people, famous people, etc. They run into users who view them as interchangeable cogs to use and it makes them feel lonely. It reminds me of something a male stripper once said about all the female hanger ons he could’ve slept with. He said something like ‘they wanted to go home with me, but they wanted to go home with any of us’. Basically he felt like a replaceable object to be used rather than a human being. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/7 "2015-10-17T23:23:17Z")
Also attractive people can select from the cream of the crop, which makes them harder to pick up. ---
**Author:** ![northporlarbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7bcc69/32.png) [@northporlarbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/northporlarbear)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/8 "2015-10-17T23:27:55Z")
Attractive people are harder to get, yes. But no harm in aiming for them. Also, the point of the thread was denying about being shallow. ---
**Author:** ![northporlarbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7bcc69/32.png) [@northporlarbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/northporlarbear)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/9 "2015-10-17T23:33:36Z")
If some blonde girls are equally pretty outside & equally deep inside, I supposed they are “replaceable”. It is not that simple; there are many other additional factors (which I can’t really think of at the moment). Still, when 2 people meet for the first time, before getting to know each other & so on, all girls (or guys) are replaceable especially when showing about the equal traits. You are not “special”. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/10 "2015-10-18T00:17:17Z")
> [@northporlarbear](#): > > People who claim that wanting to date a beauty is shallow. You just used an adjective to refer to (rather than describe) a person; it’s not an unknown construction, but it isn’t very common any more, and for the obvious reason. It diminishes the person. It reduces them to a single characteristic. Also, extremely attractive people are not typically extremely beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/11 "2015-10-18T00:17:21Z")
> [@northporlarbear](#): > > . I want it all. Also, if I have to have less of something, I would rather date a beauty with “normal brain-size” than some not-so-beautiful girl with an in-depth insight. Seems pretty shallow to me. That’s not intended as a criticism, it’s personal preference. If aesthetics is more important to you than building meaningful relationships with interesting people, go for it. Like you say, the two are not always mutually exclusive, it’s a matter of priorities. What would you want these beauties to like about you? Would you prefer that they respected your opinions, thought you were intelligent/amusing, or would you be fine if they saw you as an ignorant bore who looked kinda nice? I don’t mean that to sound snarky, there is no right or wrong answer. Even most people who put emotional connection first would find it difficult to date someone they had absolutely no attraction to. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/12 "2015-10-18T00:23:27Z")
> [@northporlarbear](#): > > Attractive people are harder to get, yes. But no harm in aiming for them. Also, the point of the thread was denying about being shallow. What would your definition of “shallow” be? ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/13 "2015-10-18T00:31:43Z")
> [@northporlarbear](#): > > there are many other additional factors (which I can’t really think of at the moment). LOL. Anyway, my point is that if someone is only after a person for their money, or fame, or power, or looks then ‘anyone’ who has those things will do. I think that is more what people who have a high dating market value are bothered by, the fact that they feel like they are being used by people who have no allegiance or interest in them as individuals. I think most people have preferences for what they look for physically. Something like 90% of people date within their own race on dating sites for example. Women want tall men, men want skinny women, etc. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/14 "2015-10-18T00:39:45Z")
I don’t like to rate girls from 1 to 10 but I have to admit I feel more comfortable with someone within one number up or down from what I rate myself. Now I f I were married to someone for many years I wouldn’t hold it against them emotionally if they went through some changes, I am sure I have to. But just starting off all aspects have to be in place and looks play a big factor in that. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/15 "2015-10-18T00:56:17Z")
> [@northporlarbear](#): > > Attractive people are harder to get, yes. But no harm in aiming for them. Also, the point of the thread was denying about being shallow. You have essentially stated that you value looks over other qualities. You haven’t explained how this doesn’t make you shallow. Please do. ---
**Author:** ![northporlarbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7bcc69/32.png) [@northporlarbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/northporlarbear)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/16 "2015-10-18T01:03:41Z")
Cause I am not looking for “just the look”. I am looking for many different things, but look “still happens to be one of them”. Also, when I look at those many different factors. I tend to value look more, but that doesn’t mean I don’t consider the other factors. ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/17 "2015-10-18T01:21:57Z")
> [@northporlarbear](#): > > Also, when I look at those many different factors. I tend to value look more… This is pretty much what is usually meant by ‘shallow’. It’s not that you don’t care about values, intellect, personality etc, it’s that you care about looks _more_. That’s fine, if that’s what makes you happy, that’s what you should prioritise. If a woman is willing to be with someone who cares more about her looks than her mind, she’s pretty shallow too. You’ll be a good match. You should let her know this is what you value most about her though. If she doesn’t mind, it’s nobody else’s business. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/18 "2015-10-18T01:24:52Z")
By “wanting to date a beauty,” do you mean wanting to date someone whom _you_ see as beautiful, or someone whom society (or the people around you) see as beautiful? Are we talking “I want to date someone I’m very attracted to,” or “I want to date one of The Beautiful People”? [QUOTE=Proverbs 11:22 (NRSV)] Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without good sense. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/19 "2015-10-18T01:25:47Z")
> [@CerebrAl](#): > > Please explain what exactly you mean by “date”. Date, inflate, whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941/20 "2015-10-18T02:02:37Z")
I hope the OP didn’t get banned for having an unpopular opinion. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-claim-that-wanting-to-date-a-beauty-is-shallow/734941.md?page=2)