# People who don't correct you even when you're embarrasingly wrong **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 13, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150 "2013-08-13T19:45:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/21 "2013-08-14T09:05:08Z")
That is pretty much my default. I don’t bother correcting people unless I think their misinformation is dangerous or will subsequently cause them to look like an idiot. Other than that I just let them talk and I listen. When people call me by the wrong name I just ignore it assuming that, they will never find out my correct name and so it doesn’t matter, or they will sometime find out my correct name so it doesn’t matter. Had I been the Cayman Island holiday maker in the OP I probably wouldn’t have corrected her either. ---
**Author:** ![JLRogers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce73a5/32.png) [@JLRogers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JLRogers)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/22 "2013-08-14T09:18:07Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > It’s a giant hole in the ground. Not my interest! When I travel I like to look at zoos, aquariums, museums, shows and stuff like that. I guess “culture” rather than “nature”. What zoos and aquariums feature “‘culture’ rather than ‘nature?’” ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/23 "2013-08-14T11:49:51Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Re-ETA: why are you _also_ using different vowels for the “e”? In this context, it works (even though IPA would be clearer) – most American English speakers will read “NAIR” and “NYER” as containing the same vowel sound. The sound in ER might have been confused with a schwa (as in “boner”), but it’s not because it’s a stressed syllable. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/24 "2013-08-14T12:01:43Z")
> [@JLRogers](#): > > What zoos and aquariums feature “‘culture’ rather than ‘nature?’” One week into a seminar on human geography (cultural ecology, etc.), and you’ll learn about “socionature,” “simulacra,” and how zoos and aquariums are _intensely_ cultural. Any remaining debate (in academia, at least) these days is about how much places like Antarctica are a cultural creation. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/25 "2013-08-14T13:07:21Z")
> [@Apollyon](#): > > Just be glad it was only mispronunciation… if you’d used the wrong stitching on your houppelande you might still be hearing about it. 😃 That’s actually what convinced me that I was always going to be a guest and never actually join. I once heard two young men chortling, giggling, and mocking a lady who had made the unforgivable sin of wearing _nylon_ to a Renaissance Faire. Not one of their events, mind you, but a Ren Faire, which is notorious for being far more flexible. They went on for about ten minutes too, and I decided I could never care about clothing that much. ETA: Oh, that and the fact that I had to dress in costume for every event…they were more than willing to lend me a costume if I couldn’t invest the time and money. It was awful - these horrible looking pajamas. And everyone learned to sew and make everything themselves. AUTHENTIC. **JLRogers** Zoos and aquariums contain nature but they are considered cultural. Seeing animals in nature would require a safari. **dropzone** , thanks! I do. 🙂 And to everyone - sure, I’ll visit the GC if I happen to be in the area. Don’t get me wrong! I just would never go only there. I like hiking OK but that is not an easy, fun hike, from everything I hear. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/26 "2013-08-14T15:07:38Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I don’t like to correct people, so had you done that to me, I probably would have assumed that you had moved on from my vacation plans to yours and would have happily discussed it with you. I might have done the same, assuming that \*\*Anaamika \*\*had switched to talking about the Grand Canyon, not just that she misheard me. It is obvious in your own mind when you make leaps between topics, but not always obvious to others, so they might just go with the conversation flow. Here’s what I imagine the coworker might have been thinking: “Oh \*\*Anaamika \*\*is talking about the Grand Canyon now, maybe she’s going there? No, she’s talking about how she doesn’t like it, I guess we are just talking about vacations in general, I can do that. I can tell the story about when I went camping a few years ago and got lost and how terrible it was. Wait, now she’s saying something about how I’m going to the Grand Canyon? I guess she misheard me. I could correct her now, but we’ve been talking for a few minutes. How do I correct her without it being awkward? Would she wonder why I didn’t correct her earlier? I don’t quite know how to jump in here. Ugh, I hope I don’t make her feel like an idiot if I correct her now. Oh well, I guess it doesn’t really matter, it’s not like we talk about vacations that often, she might not ever know she was mistaken, maybe it’ll just be less awkward if I don’t correct her. I should probably get back to work anyway, that’ll be a good way to gracefully leave the conversation.” I’ve been in similar situations. If it’s something important, I would correct the other person if it seems like they misunderstood or misheard me. But if it’s something not important that might not even come up in conversation again and it would be awkward to correct them, I might let it go. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/27 "2013-08-14T19:14:24Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > That’s funny. > > I never realized there was no tilde! :eek: > > I once asked a friend if he drove from Japan to Cambodia. He didn’t remind me that Japan is an island, he just said, ‘‘no.’’ > > About three beats later I said, ‘‘That is the stupidest question I have ever asked.’’ > > To which he replied, ‘‘Yes. Yes it was.’’ Hahaha. I was sitting on the beach with a friend once. We were racing hermit crabs. She wondered out loud if there was such a thing as girl crabs vs. boy crabs. I stared at her for a second, realized she was serious and then asked her how did she think little baby crabs were made? Pause a few beats and then she said, “That was a really blonde thing to say, wasn’t it?” “Yeah.” ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/28 "2013-08-14T19:25:48Z")
This thread reminds me of the Kathie Lee Gifford/Martin Short incident (at least the initial reaction.) > **[Kathie Lee's Awkward Gaffe About Martin Short's Dead Wife](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/kathie-lee-martin-short-wife_n_1556541)** > > Kathie Lee's Awkward Gaffe About Martin Short's Dead Wife ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/29 "2013-08-14T19:26:35Z")
The older I get (and the more I read the Dope) the more I ascribe all annoying conversational behavior to simple Not Knowing What To Say awkwardness. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/30 "2013-08-14T20:39:23Z")
I’d rather be corrected. Perhaps that’s why I like this forum! Whenever I hear someone dissing someone for mispronouncing a word, I keep my counsel, but I feet like pointing out what it means when someone uses a word correctly but mispronounces it. Usually, it means that they read a lot, learning words that they’ve never heard. Nothing to be ashamed of, whereas shaming someone for it is. > [@Dogzilla](#): > > Hahaha. I was sitting on the beach with a friend once. We were racing hermit crabs. She wondered out loud if there was such a thing as girl crabs vs. boy crabs. I stared at her for a second, realized she was serious and then asked her how did she think little baby crabs were made? Pause a few beats and then she said, “That was a really blonde thing to say, wasn’t it?” “Yeah.” Gee, I wonder where baby earthworms come from, then. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/31 "2013-08-14T23:31:17Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > What I find worse then people who don’t correct me when I’m wrong is people that will not only not correct but will adopt MY way of being incorrect just so they don’t insult me. For example, I was on a new drug (new to me, not new new) called Topamax. I thought it was pronounced TOP-a-max (like Top as in the top of something). The first few times I would tell people, like a nurse at a dr’s appointment I was on Topamax she would nod and add it to my chart. But one nurse actually said it that way. It was a good year before I found out it was pronouced tope-a-max. The funny thing was, about a third of the time I would say say “Topamax” (incorrectly), a third of the time I would say “Topamax or is it tope-a-max, I’m never sure how to say it” and they would just write it down and not correct me and the rest of the time I just said topiramate since that was easier. > Someone at some point could have just told me how to say it, and that one nurse really messed with my head when she said it the correct way first and then I said it the wrong way (because I was used to saying it that way) and then she started saying it that way too. I don’t know if they have any idea as to how to pronounce these drugs. I’ve heard Doctor A say one way, and Doctor B say another. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/32 "2013-08-14T23:47:42Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Hahaha. I was sitting on the beach with a friend once. We were racing hermit crabs. She wondered out loud if there was such a thing as girl crabs vs. boy crabs. I stared at her for a second, realized she was serious and then asked her how did she think little baby crabs were made? Pause a few beats and then she said, “That was a really blonde thing to say, wasn’t it?” “Yeah.” There are species that do not use two sexes to reproduce. [cite: a lizard.](http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=asexual-lizards) ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/33 "2013-08-15T00:16:59Z")
> [@Learjeff](#): > > Gee, I wonder where baby earthworms come from, then. You’ve never seen earthworms mate? It can get messy and gross. Think of gay male porn, except moreso. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/34 "2013-08-15T00:40:22Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > What I find worse then people who don’t correct me when I’m wrong is people that will not only not correct but will adopt MY way of being incorrect just so they don’t insult me. For example, I was on a new drug (new to me, not new new) called Topamax. I thought it was pronounced TOP-a-max (like Top as in the top of something). The first few times I would tell people, like a nurse at a dr’s appointment I was on Topamax she would nod and add it to my chart. But one nurse actually said it that way. It was a good year before I found out it was pronouced tope-a-max. The funny thing was, about a third of the time I would say say “Topamax” (incorrectly), a third of the time I would say “Topamax or is it tope-a-max, I’m never sure how to say it” and they would just write it down and not correct me and the rest of the time I just said topiramate since that was easier. > Someone at some point could have just told me how to say it, and that one nurse really messed with my head when she said it the correct way first and then I said it the wrong way (because I was used to saying it that way) and then she started saying it that way too. Yeah…mostly it’s 'cause we don’t have any more idea than you. We mostly see them written, not spoken. But it’s also 'cause we don’t want people to feel embarrassed or inhibited by a correction when it’s really just not that important. We want you to feel nice and safe and open. But I vastly prefer to actually see your medication bottles to reduce errors. Are you on desipramine or disopyramide? How sure are you, because those are very different drugs, and if I give you the wrong one, Bad Things Happen… Good news is that [drugs.com](http://drugs.com) now has a button you can click on and it’ll say the name out loud. I do that a lot on my phone just before I call the pharmacy, and y’know what happens? Even the pharmacists will “correct” me with an incorrect pronunciation! 😃 (Took me six weeks to learn “hydrochlorothiazide” without stumbling. And that pesky “r” in"metoprolol" still sneaks away to hang after the “t” half the time when I’m not being very careful.) ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/35 "2013-08-15T14:50:41Z")
I had a new guy at work let me call him by a wrong name and he never corrected me! It wasn’t until two weeks later when I got an email from him that I realized I had been calling him by the wrong name. And the name I had been calling him was nowhere near what his real name was. Why the heck would someone do that!? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/36 "2013-08-15T14:56:21Z")
> [@Sam\_Lowry](#): > > Here’s what I imagine the coworker might have been thinking: “Oh \*\*Anaamika \*\*is talking about the Grand Canyon now, maybe she’s going there? No, she’s talking about how she doesn’t like it, I guess we are just talking about vacations in general, I can do that. I can tell the story about when I went camping a few years ago and got lost and how terrible it was. Wait, now she’s saying something about how I’m going to the Grand Canyon? I guess she misheard me. I could correct her now, but we’ve been talking for a few minutes. How do I correct her without it being awkward? Would she wonder why I didn’t correct her earlier? I don’t quite know how to jump in here. Ugh, I hope I don’t make her feel like an idiot if I correct her now. Oh well, I guess it doesn’t really matter, it’s not like we talk about vacations that often, she might not ever know she was mistaken, maybe it’ll just be less awkward if I don’t correct her. I should probably get back to work anyway, that’ll be a good way to gracefully leave the conversation.” This really makes me smile, since I can see her having this exact thought process. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/37 "2013-08-15T15:38:05Z")
One of my exes was from Latin America and had a rather thick accent. Early in the relationship he said that he wanted me to correct his pronunciation, so he could learn to speak like a Mid-West American. I agreed that I would. Shortly thereafter he said the word “worst,” but he pronounced it with a vowel sound like “war.” So I corrected him. He became very angry, saying that I was poking fun of his accent. Just one of the many reasons he became my ex. ---
**Author:** ![MareIt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@MareIt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MareIt)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/38 "2013-08-15T18:41:32Z")
People mis-pronounce/mis-hear my name regularly. I only correct them if it is likely that I will run into to them again. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/39 "2013-08-15T18:55:14Z")
Most of the time, if someone misunderstands what I’ve said, I’ll correct them by taking the blame for it. Like in the OP’s situation, after we had talked for a while and I realized that she was thinking Grand Canyon and I was thinking Grand Cayman, I’d say, “You know, I just realized that when I said where I was going I probably said Grand Canyon and I meant Grand Cayman! I do that all the time!” Then we can laugh about the misunderstanding and everyone wins. But OP, I would get a kick out of you coming up and saying that you just realized you had it wrong. I think it’s fun to admit when we’re wrong, or when our brains go off on some weird tangent. That might just be me. I don’t usually correct my name, though. I shall go to my grave with half of the people I’ve ever met convinced by name is actually Judy. (It’s Julie.) ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150/40 "2013-08-15T19:02:09Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > What I find worse then people who don’t correct me when I’m wrong… Than. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-dont-correct-you-even-when-youre-embarrasingly-wrong/666150.md?page=3)