# People who "forget" their babies in the car on a hot day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 20, 2014, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248 "2014-06-20T22:47:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/21 "2014-06-21T00:58:29Z")
I think you’re wrong OP. This is one of my absolute worst fears. I can not imagine the pain involved in this sort of situation. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/22 "2014-06-21T01:12:31Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Do you have a kid? > > I think most parents have, at one point or another, forgotten their kid somewhere. Walked out of the house while the kid was in their room playing :smack:. Headed towards work instead of towards the day care :smack:. Let the kid stay up 2 hours too late because they just weren’t paying attention to them at all :smack:. Leaving the kid in the car is just one more boneheaded mistake. It sucks and it’s awful but think about how many kids there are in the world and it leaves a lot of chances for it to happen. Don’t get me wrong, some parents might do it ‘by accident’. Just like some parent’s ‘accidentally’ drive into a lake and can’t get the kids out in time, but I’d guess that many of them are, honest to goodness accidents. > I believe, from what I’ve read, often times they happen on days when that parent’s routine is disrupted. Dad always takes jr to daycare on Monday, but he had an early meeting so mom said she would do it. Come Monday, she put jr in the car seat and then just totally forgot about him because she took a phonecall as she was getting into the car and drove to work. He’s a quiet kid, never made a peep and that was that. I had a kid, and I still find it amazing that parents forgot their kid in the car, disrupted schedule or no. When I had our child with me, it was a CONSTANT nagging in my mind to keep looking around for her. There really is no way that I could imagine Pepper Mill or me forgetting about MilliCal, even for a few minutes. The idea that we could leave her in the car and forget her for an extended period of time would be impossible. I don’t doubt that some parents did accidentally leave their kid in the car, and were horrified afterwards, even if there were no lasting ill effects. But I can’t really imagine being those parents. Not worrying about MilliCal’s whereabouts every couple of minutes, tops, would be an impossible state of mind. They were obviously lacking some sense of paranoia that we had. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/23 "2014-06-21T01:14:58Z")
> [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > I’ve seen some stupid shit posted here over the years, but this is right up there. How fucking moronic must **nearwildheaven** be. What a scumbag. Yes, I agree. OP, you suck and all your threads and posts on this board are either completely indecipherable, completely idiotic or completely heartless. Usually just completely indecipherable tho. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/24 "2014-06-21T01:16:57Z")
I’m pretty sure I spawned this thread with this [post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17463584&postcount=94) in “Do you ever just go stupid?” People are very forgetful, especially when normal routines are disturbed. Car seat regulations, coupled with cell phone distractions probably comes into play in all of this. But it seems like an easy mistake to me: with a sleeping toddler in the back seat and a busy and disrupted schedule. As the father of two teenagers, I almost come to tears reading stories about parents forgetting kids in cars. It’s fucking heartbreaking. I cannot imagine a guilt any worse. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/25 "2014-06-21T01:36:06Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > This is absolutely despicable. One of the most awful things I have read. You are freaking despicable. Are you familiar with the OP? You’re responding to one of the biggest morons on the board. Almost everything she says is dumb as fucking dirt, but this thread takes the cake for blatant idiocy. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/26 "2014-06-21T01:58:51Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > [Read this](http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html) - the whole thing - then revisit your theory. I don’t even have kids and that article horrified and saddened me. I was going to link to exactly the same article. Anyone who hasn’t read this excellent piece of journalism should definitely take the time to do so. It really changed my perspective on the whole “kid left in car” phenomenon. As someone who doesn’t have kids, i was somewhat skeptical that anyone could just forget a kid in their car, but the article really does a great job of talking about the ways that it can happen, and the awful consequences. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/27 "2014-06-21T02:14:07Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Are you familiar with the OP? You’re responding to one of the biggest morons on the board. Almost everything she says is dumb as fucking dirt, but this thread takes the cake for blatant idiocy. ^This. Oh, and I too was going to link to the article cited above. It’s fucking heartbreaking, and as a parent (and now grandparent) invokes the ‘There but for the grace of…’ for me. ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/28 "2014-06-21T02:22:38Z")
I remember a time before I even had kids that I was working long hours on a physically exhausting job and I went to work and left my car running in the parking lot all day. Burned up a half gallon of gas with my keys in the ignition. Add children to the mix and yes, I believe kids can be left behind. I’ve read to avoid something like this happening is to force yourself to get in the habit of putting your purse or briefcase (something you need) in the backseat when you do your daily routine. I don’t believe a parent would willingly let their child suffer such a horrific death. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/29 "2014-06-21T02:42:28Z")
Jeez. I don’t have kids, but have plenty of people close to me who do. And that article in post #2 I agree will show any idiot how it can happen to even smart and normally observant people. I have to set a reminder on my phone just for basic stuff I do just once a week, or I’ll forget. I’m also a very routine-oriented person, so if I don’t have reminders happening, I’ll freaking forget. I can see how someone who normally doesn’t have to think about their kid on a given work day, may just forget they’re back there, especially if the car seat is always there anyway and the baby is asleep and silent. Just not enough cues to snap out of the routine. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/30 "2014-06-21T03:05:52Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > I was just reading an article on this and it gave the number of an average of 38 times a year a child died this way. And he’s getting pretty sick of it. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/31 "2014-06-21T03:09:38Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I had a kid, and I still find it amazing that parents forgot their kid in the car, disrupted schedule or no. When I had our child with me, it was a CONSTANT nagging in my mind to keep looking around for her. There really is no way that I could imagine Pepper Mill or me forgetting about MilliCal, even for a few minutes. The idea that we could leave her in the car and forget her for an extended period of time would be impossible. > I don’t doubt that some parents did accidentally leave their kid in the car, and were horrified afterwards, even if there were no lasting ill effects. But I can’t really imagine being those parents. Not worrying about MilliCal’s whereabouts every couple of minutes, tops, would be an impossible state of mind. They were obviously lacking some sense of paranoia that we had. I agree; while I can imagine the pain that the parents who lost their children via leaving them in hot cars must face, I can’t say that I’ve ever done anything even remotely close to leaving either of mine in the car. They’re the priority at all times that I’m responsible for them- getting groceries, gas, whatever, is a secondary consideration. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/32 "2014-06-21T03:29:04Z")
I have one of [these](http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/ODAwWDgwMA==/z/pPQAAOxy4dNSz0v2/$_57.jpg). Its a large convex rear view mirror. Its easy to install, just snaps right on, and your field of view at least doubles. Plus its only like $20 or $30. You could see out of the rear window on the driver’s side and definitely a little kid in the back of a car. Might help ease some people’s minds > [@samclem](#): > > I often cry when I think I might have gotten to work and left her in the car. Have you ever told her that story? It sounds like its been eating you up for years 😕 ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/33 "2014-06-21T03:47:40Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > The idea that we could leave her in the car and forget her for an extended period of time **would be impossible**. > > Not worrying about MilliCal’s whereabouts every couple of minutes, tops, would be an impossible state of mind. **They were obviously lacking some sense of paranoia that we had.** (my bolding) > [@bump](#): > > They’re the priority at all times that I’m responsible for them- getting groceries, gas, whatever, is a secondary consideration. Regardless of what you claim, just because it didn’t (or hasn’t) happened doesn’t mean it couldn’t. Read the article. Have some tissues on hand, and just thank your deity of choice (or sheer good luck) that you haven’t had to experience what these poor folk have. ---
**Author:** ![Sodalite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@Sodalite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sodalite)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/34 "2014-06-21T03:51:24Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > I was just reading an article on this and it gave the number of an average of 38 times a year a child died this way. I think I was just reading the [same article](http://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/unimaginable-loss-13-children-died-hot-cars-year-n136871) because of our conversation in the “Do you ever just go stupid?” thread. ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/35 "2014-06-21T04:01:57Z")
> [@bump](#): > > I agree; while I can imagine the pain that the parents who lost their children via leaving them in hot cars must face, I can’t say that I’ve ever done anything even remotely close to leaving either of mine in the car. > > They’re the priority at all times that I’m responsible for them- getting groceries, gas, whatever, is a secondary consideration. In these situations it is not that the child is a secondary consideration. Have you ever driven a usual routine and realized partway through the drive that you were on auto pilot? That your attention wasn’t 100% focused? Your body and eyes were paying attention, but your mind was elsewhere. We have all done that. Now imagine you have a sleeping/quiet kid in a car seat you can’t see in any of your mirrors and you drive to work as usual, auto pilot because dropping your kid off is totally out of your routine. Because of the way that our brains prioritize, this can happen and it is a gut wrenching tragedy. It honestly makes me ill to think of the parents agony and self-blame. I’m not sure I could live with it. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/36 "2014-06-21T04:09:18Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Are you familiar with the OP? You’re responding to one of the biggest morons on the board. Almost everything she says is dumb as fucking dirt, but this thread takes the cake for blatant idiocy. Not sure I’ve spotted this particular troll before. Thanks for the head’s up! I’ll ignore the stupid going forward. God bless it - I can’t even go into the things I’d like to say to it. I very rarely get this pissed off. ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/37 "2014-06-21T04:09:18Z")
> **[What Kind Of Parent Forgets A Child In A Broiling Car?](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-parent-leaves-child-in-broiling-car_n_3497956)** > > What Kind Of Parent Forgets A Child In A Broiling Car? Missed the edit window to include this article. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/38 "2014-06-21T04:11:49Z")
Leave the OP alone. It’s not his fault he got forgotten in a car and had 85% of his brain cells burnt up. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/39 "2014-06-21T04:16:45Z")
I would just like to ask the OP if s/he has ever done any of the following: -Had to drive somewhere else in the morning besides work and accidentally took the route to work instead. -Had to bring something unusual to work (ie saw it was raining and had to grab an umbrella or had to bring something in to work) and got there to find that s/he had forgotten to bring a purse or briefcase -Promised to call someone back right away and got another call in between and completely forgot to call the person back. These are the kind of mind slips that lead people to leave their infants in the car. I was reading about the two most recent cases this week and knew that somebody would bring this up. Apparently, one of the fathers is being charged with murder. However, there is an absolute difference between forgetting a child and deliberately leaving a child while the person ducks into a store. The latter is indefensible. Most of these cases, however, involve parents who are going to an otherwise normal day at work. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/40 "2014-06-21T04:37:51Z")
I had a friend who had a baby a few years ago and she was terrified of doing something like this, because of as **psychobunny** \*\*\*\* pointed out, it’s so easy to forget objects, tasks, etc. that are outside of your normal routine, so it is within reason to understand how someone could forget their child, as horrible as it sounds. My friend is a wonderful mother (and her husband a wonderful father), but the best people can make mistakes too and unfortunately a mistake like this has tragic results. I don’t want to derail the thread to ask this, but given that it was likely a mistake, I don’t understand why the father in the most recent case of this is being charged with murder. What he did was beyond incredibly thoughtless and a terrible, terrible mistake, but _mistake_\*\* is the key word here. Wouldn’t that normally be a lesser charge of manslaughter? ETA: I don’t want to read the stories about this that people have linked to because it’s too depressing, so I don’t know what ended up happening to the parents, but my friend said she would absolutely kill herself if she ever did something like that and I wouldn’t blame her for feeling that. I can’t imagine being able to carry on feeling such guilt. That’s why I also think incredibly harsh sentences for the parents are silly. They should get _some_\*\* sort of legal consequences, but I think the guilt and shame that will follow them for the rest of their lives is enough. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248.md?page=3)