# People who "forget" their babies in the car on a hot day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 20, 2014, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248 "2014-06-20T22:47:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/141 "2014-06-22T16:44:50Z")
If, as you’re driving along with your child in the back of the car, you are thinking ‘OMG, is he still there/is she still _breathing_?!?’ every couple of seconds, you’re already being a negligent parent. Your attention should be focused on the more significant risks associated with driving a car. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/142 "2014-06-22T17:07:25Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > The people in here claiming they are absolutely above making such mistakes, that good parents are above such mistakes, are the same sort of people who say “[X evil thing] could never happen here” or “[X bad person] is an inhuman monster, completely different than the rest of us.” Good people wouldn’t do X, and they are good people, so of course they wouldn’t do X. (And then, of course, when and if they do X, it’s not the same thing, not at all.) > > If good parents never leave their children, then so long as you’re a good parent, you’re covered. You’re not at risk. Because by definition good parents don’t leave their children in the car. > > Bad, mean, horrible, negligent parents who don’t care leave their kids in the car to die and roast. I’m not a bad, mean, horrible, negligent parent, so I won’t leave my kid in the car to die and roast. How do we know these are bad, mean, horrible, negligent parents? Because they left their kids in the car to die and roast. > > What if they thought they were good parents? What if they thought it would never happen to them? Well, they were never good parents. They were always wrong. We know this because they left their kids in the car to die and roast. > > Bad things happen to other people because they deserve it. Good things happen to me because I deserve it. I am a better person than they are, so I will get better results. We know I’m a better person because I’ve gotten better results. > > And because this can’t happen to me, I have no need for sympathy or empathy for these parents. Because they are terrible, stupid people, unlike me. They are terrible parents, unlike me. They are prone to error, unlike me. They are nothing like me. I am completely different. It could never happen to me. Nothing like that could happen to me. Other people said the same thing in this thread in several different ways, but you put it most bluntly and poignantly. Great, great post. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/143 "2014-06-22T17:22:19Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > I do understand that. I just don’t see thd import of such a statement. Yes, it could happen to anyone. And? Does saying that somehow negate the person’s negligence/recklessness? Does it mean that pointing out the actions that led to the death makes one a jerk? The point is that at some point in your life you WILL do some sort of jerky thing that could have dire consequences for another human being. It could be thinking you already dropped the kid off but no, he’s in the back seat. It could be backing out of a parking spot just a little too carelessly and hitting someone. It could be missing a stop sign or blowing a red light. It could be accidentally locking yourself out of the house in the middle of a blizzard. All of those things are _potentially_ avoidable and yet they do happen, even to careful, good, conscientious people. Why? Because human beings are fallible. The arrogance of thinking you’re immune is simply appalling. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/144 "2014-06-22T18:28:42Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > Yes. And? > > It’s clear that in the cases chery picked and presented in the article that the parents are not intentionally killing their children, and they should not be charged with murder. I would think the proper resolution would be a plea to a lesser charge, a period of probation, and definitely counselling. According to the article, about forty percent of cases like this do not lead to prosecution. Do you think the prosecutors in those cases failed in their duties by not pressing charges? Miles Harrison, the father whose trial opens the article, was acquitted. Do you think that the jury failed in their duty by not convicting him? ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/145 "2014-06-22T18:41:15Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > Can you envision any response by me, after you shared that highly personalized, heart wrenching story, that wouldn’t immediately paint me as a jerk?\*\*\* Even simply pointing out the straw men or challenging your unsupported conclusions\*\*\* would gain nothing except raising the ire of those who want a reason to. > > I am sorry for your losses. Hey, **Hams** , I thought I’d help you out here. See that emphasized bit in the quote box? That right there is where you were an insensitive asshole. I’m not totally sure how you can’t realize that on your own. After all, that section is a nasty passive-aggressive swipe at **choie**. “After you shared your personal and painful tragedy, any response to it would just sound dickish. Now let me immediately follow with a response, because you TOTALLY had some fuckin’ bullshit straw men and unsupported conclusions in your post. But again, I won’t respond, even though I totally just did, since it would just raise the ire of posters who are just irrationally looking for offense. Oh, and sorry for your loss, or whatever.” Hope that helps! :):):)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/146 "2014-06-22T19:33:39Z")
Kind of like if someone said, “Hey **Hamlet** , I’m not going to say fuck you, because that’s not allowed in the pit, so I’m just going to say I’m sorry for the compassionless void where your heart should be.” ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/147 "2014-06-22T19:52:22Z")
This has totally worn me out. Maybe we shouldn’t give some of these assholes any more traction to **continue** being assholes. I’m done. ---
**Author:** ![kk\_fusion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kk_fusion/32/15276_2.png) [@kk\_fusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kk_fusion)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/148 "2014-06-22T20:25:35Z")
Alright, I’ll add a new level of smug to this. I’m not attributing malice to parents who let such a thing happen. I’m attributing _neglitient lack of awareness_ to them. Cars are _deadly traps_ for those who can’t effectively communicate to the outside. If you place someone under your guard in a car, you should _always_ be critically aware of what you’re doing. Putting an infant in a car should _never_ be a part of your daily routine. Can’t stay at home? Can’t have someone come over to watch your child? Can’t live closer to work/daycare? Sorry, you’re not in a position to have children. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/149 "2014-06-22T20:29:22Z")
> [@kk\_fusion](#): > > Putting an infant in a car should _never_ be a part of your daily routine. Can’t stay at home? Can’t have someone come over to watch your child? Can’t live closer to work/daycare? Sorry, you’re not in a position to have children. If you’re going to troll, you should be a little less obvious about it. And if you’re not trolling, you should be a lot less fucking idiotic. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/150 "2014-06-22T20:56:30Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I’m surprised that you’re surprised. Many of our friends with kids feel the same way. I don’t recall the whole thread, but do you have children? I have four of them, and all of my friends have kids as well. Only one describes himself as thinking of his child’s location every few minutes, and he is actually a diagnosed sufferer from OCD. Could be unrelated, and I’m not implying there’s much of a chance that any such connection holds in your case, but it seems relevant to point out since it explains where I’m coming from when I say A) thinking like you describe is rare B) thinking like you describe is not typically enabled by the way brains work. Further evidence for these propositions is found in the linked article in post two, and countless other places you can find through google. You say you think of your kid’s location every few minutes. Is this even so true as to imply that, for example, when your kid is across town from you at school or with a partner, every few minutes you consciously think about where your kid is? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/151 "2014-06-22T21:07:33Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Kind of like if someone said, “Hey **Hamlet** , I’m not going to say fuck you, because that’s not allowed in the pit, so I’m just going to say I’m sorry for the compassionless void where your heart should be.” [Moderating] The comparison is apt, but also a violation of the Pit’s language rules. Please avoid doing this in the future. No warning issued. [/Moderating] ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/152 "2014-06-22T21:26:49Z")
Over the years I have been the caregiver for a number of children while at the same time holding down a full time job or a part-time job while being a full time student. Never once have I left a kid in a hot or freezing car to die though DOG only knows there were times I certainly wanted to. If I can manage that when it’s not even my kid or a kid I even like, don’t expect me to have any sympathy for a parent that forgets their kid in similar circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/153 "2014-06-22T21:30:33Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Over the years I have been the caregiver for a number of children while at the same time holding down a full time job or a part-time job while being a full time student. Never once have I left a kid in a hot or freezing car to die though DOG only knows there were times I certainly wanted to. If I can manage that when it’s not even my kid or a kid I even like, don’t expect me to have any sympathy for a parent that forgets their kid in similar circumstances. You don’t have any sympathy for someone whose child died and you wanted to leave kids in cars to freeze or roast. I’m so shocked. Truly. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/154 "2014-06-22T21:31:21Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > These people have to live the rest of their lives, blaming themselves for a stupid mistake that virtually anyone could have made. They don’t need you, adding to their pain. If the individuals we are discussing who had left kids in a hot or freezing car resulting in death had not been the parents, but other caregivers such as nannies or babysitters, plenty of Dopers would be ready to send them to prison. The fact that parents do this from time to time should not give them a free pass. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/155 "2014-06-22T21:31:32Z")
Second “wow” of the thread for me, as the dumbasses seem to just keep multiplying. You all are a testament to subhuman intelligence. Good job. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/156 "2014-06-22T21:32:07Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > If the individuals we are discussing who had left kids in a hot or freezing car resulting in death had not been the parents, but other caregivers such as nannies or babysitters, plenty of Dopers would be ready to send them to prison. The fact that parents do this from time to time should not give them a free pass. Oh, come on. You want to give them a fucking medal. ETA: Or maybe you want them punished because otherwise they’d “get” to kill kids, something you wanted to do but just couldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/157 "2014-06-22T21:33:45Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > You don’t have any sympathy for someone whose child died and you wanted to leave kids in cars to freeze or roast. I’m so shocked. Truly. Yeah, me too. Some of the others might’ve been surprising in their complete idiocy, but that response was a no-brainier. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/158 "2014-06-22T21:35:15Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Yeah, me too. Some of the others might’ve been surprising in their complete idiocy, but that response was a no-brainier. My dear faithfool, it was the no-brainiEST. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/159 "2014-06-22T21:35:45Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Never once have I left a kid in a hot or freezing car to die… This is not what makes you different from anyone else in this thread. Neither have I ever once left a kid in a hot or freezing car, but I can comprehend the possibility of it happening through entirely non-malicious circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248/160 "2014-06-22T21:39:54Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Neither have I ever once left a kid in a hot or freezing car, but I can comprehend the possibility of it happening through entirely non-malicious circumstances. I doubt she can conceive of anything happening through entirely non-malicious circumstances. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-forget-their-babies-in-the-car-on-a-hot-day/691248.md?page=9)