# People who make no effort to speak clearly after "I'm sorry" (or similar response) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 4, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681 "2004-01-04T18:53:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/1 "2004-01-04T18:53:14Z")
This happens sometimes, someone will say something cryptic. I will say “Sorry” and move my left ear to face the person. To which they will repeat, in exactly the same volume and cryptic tone. I will then say “I am sorry, but I didn’t catch that” and move uncomfortably close to them to hear better. They repeat again, with still no slowing of pronunciation, no increase of volume, no attempt to improve clarity. This continues until I give up and just guess at what they said and say in reply “Er, Yes”. Really fucking annoying that is. ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/2 "2004-01-04T18:57:26Z")
Try: “ **WHAT did you say? Stop MUMBLING!** ”. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/3 "2004-01-04T19:20:57Z")
Amen, **Lobsang**. I have intermittent hearing problems due to fluid buildup in my middle ear. There are months when I’m repeating “I’m sorry?” ever five minutes. And people still just repeat it at their previous volume and quality of diction. If I say “I’m sorry?” or “Can you speak up?”, it means I can’t hear you! Obviously, I can’t hear you because you spoke to softly or mumbled too much for me to hear. SPEAK UP, DAMMIT! This is also why I don’t do phonework… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/4 "2004-01-04T20:42:28Z")
“I’m sorry, I’m hard of hearing. Could you please speak up?” usually works for me. If it doesn’t, I just repeat it several times until they speak up or give up. ---
**Author:** ![Dog80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Dog80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dog80)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/5 "2004-01-04T20:53:56Z")
When somebody says “Sorry?” to me, I will both speak louder **and** rephrase my sentence, just to be sure 🙂 It saves time! I wish more people would do that too! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/6 "2004-01-04T22:15:28Z")
I make wildly exaggerated hand gestures that are no where near ASL while dancing an insane little jig in a John Cleese manner. To which they respond, “Never mind.” Actually, I turn to face them and repeat/rephrase as needed. Sometimes, it irritates me to have to do this, but I get over it because that’s rather shallow of me. Unless they’re just not paying attention (as opposed to having hearing difficulties). That’s when my little interpretive dance is justified. ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/7 "2004-01-04T22:22:12Z")
You could also try the opposite approach. Say VERY SOFTLY “I’m sorry?”. Speaking softly for some reason seems to get people to speak louder. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/8 "2004-01-04T22:25:35Z")
I speak very quietly, and way too fast. When I’m nervous, I speak even more quietly and faster. I know this because other people tell me so. To me, I’m quite loud enough - in fact, when asked, for a split second, I wonder if they want me to scream to the entire room, because surely I just spoke loudly enough for the people 4 tables over to hear. Or so it seems to me, but my perception isn’t accurate. So someone says “sorry?” or “excuse me?” or “I didn’t catch that” and I’ll repeat myself what seems to be tons louder (everyone in this half of the room has just heard whatever I was saying by now), and they still can’t understand it…which makes me more embarrassed and so I repeat again (of course, I’m naturally speeding up _and_ getting quieter, so I’m fighting that tendency as well) and if it wasn’t that important in the first place, I really don’t want to say it anymore (so I’ll just say “never mind”) and if it was important, I’m just getting frustrated at not being able to speak right, and even more embarrassed by how frustrated the other person is getting, and trying to get it right this time … it’s just awful. I know how fucking annoying it must be. I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/9 "2004-01-04T22:25:37Z")
**jayjay** , was that you behind me at the movies? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/10 "2004-01-04T22:54:35Z")
“I’m sorry” doesn’t tell me anything about a hearing problem. It just means the person was distracted for whatever reason. That is also how I use the phrase, I don’t think I have ever said “I’m sorry” to indicate I couldn’t hear someone, but plenty of time when I was distracted/not paying attention. For that I say, I can’t hear you. You might try that. ---
**Author:** ![Verick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ea666f/32.png) [@Verick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verick)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/11 "2004-01-04T23:02:16Z")
I’ve always been partial to saying: “Mumble mumble? What the hell did you just say?” ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/12 "2004-01-04T23:51:46Z")
Or, “Hey, speak the fuck up” said loudly will almost always get their attention and a immediate response. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/13 "2004-01-05T03:04:15Z")
[Gabby Johnson] …no sidewindin bushwackin, hornswaglin, cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter. [/Gabby Johnson] ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/14 "2004-01-05T03:07:17Z")
augh! hit post instead of preview – meant to add, yes, absolutely, I try to be very good about repeating myself more clearly when asked, but sometimes I cannot resist quoting the above line when my mum asks me to speak up… ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/15 "2004-01-05T03:56:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > Amen, **Lobsang**. I have intermittent hearing problems due to fluid buildup in my middle ear. Your middle ear? What, is it on your forehead, or something? You freak. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/16 "2004-01-05T05:23:01Z")
You could always say what my late hard-of-hearing grandfather always said: “You stepped in what?” ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/17 "2004-01-05T06:33:04Z")
Whenever someone does something like that in response to my maddened mumblings, I adopt a Hunter Thompson attitude and scream, “CAN YOU HEAR ME???”… clenched teeth an’ all. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/18 "2004-01-05T06:45:46Z")
Or try sign-language. Thank you **friedo**. That was a good start to my day. **🙂** ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/19 "2004-01-05T07:07:51Z")
I’m a mumbler. I admit it. I don’t even know that I’m mumbling until someone asks me to repeat myself, then I get aggravated and say it slowly and loudly, like tourists do in foreign countries to people who don’t understand English. I know that makes me the jerk here, but like I said, I don’t even realize it until I get called on it. _shrug_ ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681/20 "2004-01-05T09:15:20Z")
My wife is a low talker. I am somewhat hard of hearing. I have begged her repeatedly for years please to speak loudly and clearly. Almost everything she says to me is immediately followed by huh? what? or say again. And when she repeats, rather than say what she said the first time in a louder volume, she _rephrases_ what she said and speaks slightly lower. That means there are now two things I didn’t hear. I love her dearly, but I do wish she would grant me this one simple courtesy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-make-no-effort-to-speak-clearly-after-im-sorry-or-similar-response/222681.md?page=2)