# People who read the paper in the stalls at work... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 28, 2001, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294 "2001-09-28T13:01:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@bender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bender)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294/21 "2001-09-29T12:32:23Z")
Man, thats taking it to the extreme, why not find a nice seat in a local park… Seriously, and a bit off-topic, I used the “Fuck off, I’m at lunch” sign on my desk until the manager suggested it was un-professional. Now I’m down the local more often, and too frequently don’t make it back. Now there’s a thought, I could take me reading material into the can at the Pub, and really be wasting time. Personally, and this worries me, my most relaxed reading happens when I’m sitting with me pants round me ankles, it’s the only place there is no chance of being disturbed. Hell, I even switch my phone off, but that’s after taking a call from a senior (female) manager ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294/22 "2001-09-29T14:29:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Ooh, I’ve had that happen before–not amusing, especially as the motion detector couldn’t see over the stall at my frantically waving arm. If you’ve got the paper, why not wad up a page and toss it over the stall where it will get picked up by the motion detector? If you miss, you’ve still got plenty of pages left. ---
**Author:** ![beergeek279](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@beergeek279](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beergeek279)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294/23 "2001-09-29T16:48:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Payne N. Diaz \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by GrizzRich \* > > \*\*Because, frankly, doing your business in the stall is BORING!! > > It’s just something to keep our minds occupied whilst we’re “stocking the lake with brown trout”. > > > > /slight hijack/ > > Our bathrooms at work are outfitted with motion sensors that will turn out the lights 10 minutes after the last movement \ is made. > > So, read the funnies quickly and finish up, or one will be “left in the dark”, literally. > > /here endeth the slight hijack/ \*\* > > Ooh, I’ve had that happen before–not amusing, especially as the motion detector couldn’t see over the stall at my frantically waving arm. \*\* It happened to me as well, when I was doing a C program at my school’s branch campus lab. I was sitting there dropping some friends off at the pool when the lights went off for me. The problem was that there was a dividing wall between the stalls and the sensor, so any thrown objects would do no good. The place was fairly non-busy and most of the people there were women, so I decided to waddle out with my pants around my ankles to give it a little wave so I could finish up. Once I got outside the stall, I reached for the wall so as to guide myself, when suddenly the lights come on! I tried to make a mad dash back to the stall, but no luck. Apparently, just while I was in my predicament one of the laborers outside decided to urinate. I’d say that under the circumstances, he was fairly understanding and all (I don’t know how I’D react to walking in on a guy with his pants round his ankles!) but that time I decided to go out the back door. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294/24 "2001-09-30T02:47:08Z")
Why not just not bother with the reading, finish what youre doing, wipe, put your pants back on and then leave? Do you really have to SEE to take a dump? So you miss out on a bit of reading - better than waddling around a bathroom in the dark trying to get the light back on in order to read while on the john. As for “something to do while waiting for something to happen” - don’t you know if you need to go or not? I mean, when I have to go, it doesnt take me so long that I could have read an article in a paper, let alone a whole section. And when I’m donne, I’m done. What is there to wait for? I just don’t undertand. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294/25 "2001-09-30T03:29:24Z")
There is a sublime pleasure and sense of accomplishment in a long, drawn-out, epic struggle in the john. I’m talking about the twenty to thirty minute odyssey. Times like that, you definitely want the sports page with you. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294/26 "2001-09-30T06:09:15Z")
I never could understand why anyone would want to read when they go to the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294/27 "2001-09-30T06:32:53Z")
When I was little, I took books or magazines into the bathroom because I thought that was what you were supposed to do. Nowadays, I try to spend as little time in the bathroom as possible…especially public ones (I always hear the most _interesting_ conversations). ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294/28 "2001-09-30T07:40:43Z")
Employee downtime caused by excessive lavatorial occupancy is an issue which senior management are looking at very closely in the current harsh trading environment. The subject has become a hot potato in Corporate Britain as it is thought to be having a detrimental effect on Company Profits. I was recently chosen to head a Covert Toilet Operation, the objective being to gather data on the subject and propose a solution. Teams of agents were despatched to Britain’s Corporate Lavatories, with instructions to sit in the stalls and carry out time and motion studies on the users. After analysing more raw data than was good for me, I considered all possible solutions carefully before emerging with the following proposals: The stalls in all lavatories are to be equipped with TV and DVD systems. The TV screens will be Plasma or Flat Screen, so they can be mounted on the inside of the stall door without taking up unnecessary space. On entrance to the lavatory from the Outside World, the user is presented with a range of viewing options specially chosen to assist bowel movements. My own personal selection would be the final scene from _Carrie_, but I can imagine the Alien in John Hurt’s stomach being another popular choice. Corporate Lavatory Managers would need to order multiple copies of these DVD’s so that users are not kept waiting, thus avoiding the possibility of Nasty Accidents occurring in the pre-stall queue. Having selected his preferred bowel-emptying DVD, the user enters a stall and inserts the DVD into the Stall Sound System. He then lowers his trousers and underpants, if he is wearing them, and takes up his usual position on the Lavatory Seat. Using the DVD scene finding function, the user selects the appropriate suspenseful item. When the climax is played out on the screen he vacates his bowels, with any annoying splashes being drowned in a Sea of Sensurround. The usual procedures may then be followed, i.e. the judicious application of toilet tissue to the Affected Areas, followed by the restoration of underpants and trousers to their pre-evacuation status. My proposals have been sent to the Confederation of British Industries, together with watertight assurances that, if my ideas are adopted without delay, there will be a significant improvement in bottom line performance. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294/29 "2001-09-30T09:03:13Z")
Great satire! 😉 Quasi [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-read-the-paper-in-the-stalls-at-work/84294.md?page=1)