# People who refer to their spouse as "Mr./Mrs. \" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2004, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549 "2004-03-26T11:56:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/41 "2004-03-26T15:02:37Z")
> [@Carnick](#): > > It’s a special mark of approval, a security measure you see. If you don’t see it after my message it means something’s killed me, eaten my brains, assimilated my DNA, assumed my form, and is making fraudulent posts in my name on the SDMB. > > … I’ve sorta been going on that assumption all along. And Mrs. Evil Captor says, “Bwahahahahaha!” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/42 "2004-03-26T15:03:49Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > What sobriquet should I use for Skutirette? She’s not my spouse. I use “girlfriend” from time to time, but keerisakes, we’re in our mid 30’s, and despite her affection for stuffed duckies, she’s not a girl anymore. “Lady friend” sounds positively middle aged. “Other of increasing significance,” is cumbersome, and “SO” makes me sound defensive… I always imagine that allcapped epithet accompanied by hands on hips and thrust jaw. “Friend” is too casual, and “partner” makes me think of law firms. Try “main squeeze”. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/43 "2004-03-26T15:23:41Z")
Meh. Sniffs\_Markers and I are never gonna get married anyway. So neener! Neener! Neener! Say “Mrs. Username” or “Mr. Username” is a very convenient way of establishing a relationship without resorting to the more frosty “my spouse”. At least a name (whether you think it stupid or otherwise) makes ther person a bit more of… well, a person! ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/44 "2004-03-26T15:26:47Z")
Does this mean I can’t refer to my wife as Mrs. Steinhardt?? 🙂 Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/45 "2004-03-26T16:06:09Z")
I think that’s okay, **zev** , but Mrs. zev\_steinhardt is right out. I met a guy who referred to his wife as “my spouse” exclusively in everyday conversation. I found it a little creepy, though I can’t quite put my finger on why. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/46 "2004-03-26T16:18:58Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > You think that’s bad? In one post, **weirddave** actually refered to _himself_ as **Mr. GingeroftheNorth**. How lame is that? He says that only because I will not allow him to refer to himself as “The guy who was lucky enough to woo and steal GingerOfTheNorth away from Canada”. I don’t see the problem. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/47 "2004-03-26T16:21:36Z")
Thank God Portland is marrying same sex couples. Now instead of **Mrs Shoshana** (which _is_ funny, in the manner of me saying “Women–can’t live with 'em and can’t live without 'em”), I can just call her “the wife” or “the missus.” Though frankly she prefers “Doctor.” ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/48 "2004-03-26T16:26:51Z")
Oh, wise and glorious **Carnick** … please do tell us what we can call those whom we Dopers sleep with (or want to sleep with, as the case may be). We are here to please you, obviously. Does it really matter what someone calls their spouse or boy/girlfriend? Are you _that_ bitter? Did someone pee in your Cheerios? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/49 "2004-03-26T16:29:27Z")
I would _never_ refer to my husband as **Mr. jsgoddess**. **jsgod** is so much shorter. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/50 "2004-03-26T16:32:08Z")
So is **the kabbess** still OK? (Answer: no, she’s frickin’ awesome. Ho ho.) ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/51 "2004-03-26T16:36:03Z")
> [@Carnick](#): > > Goddamnit, I hate you all. But, but, but…we _love_ you. Why must say such hurtful things? ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/52 "2004-03-26T16:39:05Z")
hmmmm… - maintaining the convention of message board anonymity - check - articulating status of relationship while maintaining said anonymity - check - with sufficient posts, providing enough anecdotes so SO’s nickname is a character on his/her own - check - pushing **Carnick’s** buttons - priceless as for me - whaddya want? - **WordWife** thinks the whole premise of message boards are kinda silly/geeky anyway - if she thought I pierced the veil of anonymity and used her real name, she’d heckle me to death. ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/53 "2004-03-26T16:41:21Z")
I like using **Mrs. carrot**. What else would I call her? I suppose I could try **Angua** , but then everybody’d get her confused with the **Angua** that already posts here. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/54 "2004-03-26T16:52:29Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > as for me - whaddya want? - **WordWife** thinks the whole premise of message boards are kinda silly/geeky anyway - if she thought I pierced the veil of anonymity and used her real name, she’d heckle me to death. Ain’t that the truth. To the letter. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/55 "2004-03-26T17:28:01Z")
Although I don’t talk about my hubby, SO, spouse, sometimes- thorn-in-my-side very often on the the boards (I reserve all that for LJ) I don’t see anything wrong with calling him Mr. Mermaid. If I simply referred to him as Thom, 99% of you wouldn’t know who I’m talking about. He doesn’t post so he has no user name and if I called him my lover that would sound like a SNL sketch. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/56 "2004-03-26T17:41:36Z")
> [@The Mermaid](#): > > If I simply referred to him as Thom, 99% of you wouldn’t know who I’m talking about. And some of us would think you were married to the designer guy on Queer Eye, which would be sort of odd, given that yer a girl. ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/57 "2004-03-26T17:49:20Z")
The convention ranted against in the original post has been a pet peeve of mine ever since my girlfriend Colleen introduced me to this message board. Maybe it’s irrational. I dunno. I don’t feel comfortable describing someone as an extension of myself. I’d never think of my girlfriend as Ms. James. Anyway, I don’t understand why first-name anonymity is so precious around here. I’m James; my girlfriend is Colleen. I live in Kentucky. Should I fear that our identities will be stolen? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/58 "2004-03-26T18:18:07Z")
> [@Cheese Monster](#): > > Anyway, I don’t understand why first-name anonymity is so precious around here. I’m James; my girlfriend is Colleen. I live in Kentucky. Should I fear that our identities will be stolen? :writes James and Colleen, Kentucky on a small scrap of paper and shoves it in pocket: Whistling innocently ---
**Author:** ![misshannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3e96dc/32.png) [@misshannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misshannah)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/59 "2004-03-26T18:24:35Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > And some of us would think you were married to the designer guy on Queer Eye, which would be sort of odd, given that yer a girl. And then some of us would _hate_ her for marrying our own true love… What?? Thom just hasn’t met me yet!!! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549/60 "2004-03-26T18:56:47Z")
I find the Mr./Ms. (screenname) thing really annoying too. It’s just way too cutesy for my tastes. Why can’t we just use “my husband/wife” or “my boyfriend/girlfriend,” like most people do in normal everyday coversation. If I were talking to co-workers, who didn’t know my boyfriend, I wouldn’t refer to him by name, or Mr. nyctea scandiaca or whatever, I would just say “my boyfriend.” I also hate hate hate the term “significant other” too. Uck. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-refer-to-their-spouse-as-mr-mrs-screen-name/236549.md?page=4)