# People who think that homosexuality is a result of strained relationship with opposite-sex parent. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 1, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978 "2009-11-01T20:59:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/1 "2009-11-01T20:59:24Z")
Dear people who think that homosexuality is the result of a strained relationship with one’s opposite sex parent, You’re wrong. I’m also disgusted with the fact that you believe this. But my disgust is secondary to the fact that you’re wrong. You’re wrong in the same sense that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is wrong about whether or not the Holocaust occurred. I did just compare you to a Holocaust denier. Love, Joey ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/2 "2009-11-01T21:07:54Z")
Well, according to James Dobson, men just need to take their boys into the showers with them and show them their wangs so they’ll understand what a real hetero man is. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/3 "2009-11-01T21:16:40Z")
I think anyone who claims they know, with absolute certainty, why some people are homosexual is wrong. But I don’t invoke the Holocaust in expressing my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/4 "2009-11-01T21:21:58Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Well, according to James Dobson, men just need to take their boys into the showers with them and show them their wangs so they’ll understand what a real hetero man is. No i think the logic is if a boy has to endure seeing his father naked he’ll never want to see a naked man again. my dad naked /ewww ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/5 "2009-11-01T21:25:15Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > No i think the logic is if a boy has to endure seeing his father naked he’ll never want to see a naked man again. my dad naked /ewww Whichever the case may be, I never saw my father’s wang (writing this phrase makes my fingers cramp up) and if that means I’ll remain a homosexual forever and ever because of it, I’ll be proud to remain so based on the non-sighting alone. Would it be proper (and scientific) to say, “Phew, dodged a bullet, there, I did.”? And I liked my mother very much, thank you. Or, was it too much. Now I’m more confused than ever! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/6 "2009-11-01T21:42:26Z")
It’s probably wrong. The theory’s certainly fallen out of favor. But I don’t understand why it’s disgusting or equivalent to Holocaust denial. And thinking about it, that’s never been a popular theory. There was a Freudian theory that was popular from the 40s-80s, maybe, saying that homosexuality was caused by a strained relationship with the same sex parent. The theory went that homosexual men had distant, unaffectionate fathers and doting, overprotective mothers (which led to one of the stereotypes of gays as “momma’s-boys”) , but I never heard a theory that said that homosexuality was linked with a strained relationship with the opposite-sex parent. ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/7 "2009-11-01T21:47:49Z")
You know what? True or not, I really don’t give a crap about all these silly, irrelevant, time-wasting issues re. homosexuality. I really don’t. “It’s caused by a bad relationship with one of the parents!” So is not being allowed to take the car out Saturday. Why not endlessly squander money, manpower, and energy fighting _that?_ “It’s a choice!” Because apparently no one should ever be allowed to have a choice about anything. “The Bible says it’s a sin!” Oh, you mean that dense, preachy, ridiculously long work of fiction that 99.88% of us (conservative estimate) haven’t given the time of day of since we were 14 (conservative estimate)? Whatever, dude. “They can’t have children!” Yeah, why should heteros be the only ones suffering? Look, there is ONE question that matters: Does it hurt anyone? All evidence says that it does not. So quit blabbering about morality and choices and bad relationships and start living your own goddam life. Trust me, it’s easy once you get used to it. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/8 "2009-11-01T22:25:04Z")
**DKW** is my new favorite person. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/9 "2009-11-01T23:27:53Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > …Look, there is ONE question that matters: Does it hurt anyone? All evidence says that it does not. ///. Never having been fucked in the ass, I can’t say for sure, but I imagine it might be painful the first few times. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/10 "2009-11-01T23:37:05Z")
Boyo Jim, a platoon of invisible lesbians just surrounded your house. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/11 "2009-11-01T23:43:16Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Never having been fucked in the ass, I can’t say for sure, but I imagine it might be painful the first few times. 😛 Not if it’s done correctly.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/12 "2009-11-01T23:53:59Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think anyone who claims they know, with absolute certainty, why some people are homosexual is wrong. I agree, but also extend it to _the absolute ruling out of any particular reason_. Maybe a strained relationship with an opposite-sex parent _is_ a significant factor in _some people’s_ sexuality. Seems bizarre to assert that it could never be so. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/13 "2009-11-02T03:11:59Z")
> [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](#): > > Not if it’s done correctly.😃 I learn something ever day here. I didn’t know there was a wrong way – aside from the obvious stuff like broom sticks and gerbils. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/14 "2009-11-02T03:41:51Z")
“If God had wanted me otherwise, he’d have made me otherwise!” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/15 "2009-11-02T04:33:26Z")
He did. You’re actually a necrophiliac. Make the necessary changes, and move on. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/16 "2009-11-02T05:11:38Z")
> [@](#): > > I agree, but also extend it to the absolute ruling out of any particular reason. Maybe a strained relationship with an opposite-sex parent is a significant factor in some people’s sexuality. Seems bizarre to assert that it could never be so. That’s my point. Personally, I think sexual orientation is probably mainly a genetic issue. But I’m not dogmatic about it. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/17 "2009-11-02T06:40:43Z")
I think it is wrong to rule out environmental factors. Genetics do not occur strictly in a vacuum. If a person is genetically prone to homosexuality, then environment can play a role. For example in identical twins if one is gay there is a 50% the other is gay. This is a big factor, but it is not 100%. To my knowledge we do not know what the other 50% comes from. But there is no telling what environmental factors could play a role in people’s sexuality. On another note [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCzbNkyXO50) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/18 "2009-11-02T07:26:55Z")
> [@](#): > > I think it is wrong to rule out environmental factors. Genetics do not occur strictly in a vacuum. If a person is genetically prone to homosexuality, then environment can play a role. For example in identical twins if one is gay there is a 50% the other is gay. This is a big factor, but it is not 100%. I once read an interesting book on genetics. It said that nature vs nurture is a false dichotomy - the two work together. Essentially what the author wrote was that most genes have a number of different ways they can express themselves so you should think of each gene as a collection of possibilities that are established at conception. But from that point on, environment will determine how the gene is expressed. So two people with the exact same genes might be different because they were exposed to different environmental triggers. And two people exposed to the same environment would be different because they have different genetic responses to that environment. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/19 "2009-11-02T11:30:45Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > **DKW** is my new favorite person. Mine, too. ---
**Author:** ![JohnnyMac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@JohnnyMac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnnyMac)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/20 "2009-11-02T13:22:17Z")
(I have a friend whose family both believes he’s queer because of his strained relationship with his dad, _and_ are holocaust deniers) ETA: Oh, but now I see you said “opposite sex parent”. Oh well. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978.md?page=2)