# People who think that homosexuality is a result of strained relationship with opposite-sex parent. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 1, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978 "2009-11-01T20:59:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/41 "2009-11-05T17:50:28Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Boyo Jim, a platoon of invisible lesbians just surrounded your house. Those are the worst! All the hot girl-girl action, and none of the eye candy. Cruel, cruel lesbians. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/42 "2009-11-06T02:06:06Z")
That is such backwards thinking. Everybody knows that homosexuality is a result of show tunes. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/43 "2009-11-06T03:46:01Z")
My guess is that homosexuality is like musical talent or the ability to be a good cook or some people drive red cars and some people drink too much and some people like silent comedies. I think it’s very possible that me and my closeted neighbor and the drag queen down the way and the effeminate co-worker are all gay for different reasons and that those reasons are either solely natural predisposition or a nature-nurture cocktail (heh heh— cock tail… like cock and tail… like anal sex… get it? I slipped a job offer in there Starling!) But I mainly agree with DKM: who the fuck cares? It’s interesting to speculate on or study about and I’d certainly read any report that was well reviewed on the topic but the point is “we’re here, we’re queer, how’s the eggplant parmesan at this place?” I myself came from an embarassingly “fagmaker” formula: a distant father, overbearing mother, add in isolation and velvet bedspreads and a Pekingese just for good measure, but I have no idea whether this figured in. I have friends who have wonderful relations with their opposite sex parents- with both parents in some instances- and turned out queer as a French speaking 3 legged lemur. I know a family in which 3 of the 4 sons turned out to be gay- seemed a normal enough home. Lesbians are of course caused by the mother eating too much bacon and or drinking malt liquor during pregnancy. This was fairly well proven in a dream I had. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/44 "2009-11-06T21:11:52Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I didn’t know you could be 2% queer, Is there 1% available? How about skim queer? Well, I didn’t remember the Kinsey scale, so I tried using percentages. Don’t know how well that works. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/45 "2009-11-06T22:56:50Z")
If you’re 2% queer, are you 2% here as well? ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/46 "2009-11-07T03:25:18Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Lesbians are of course caused by the mother eating too much bacon and or drinking malt liquor during pregnancy. This was fairly well proven in a dream I had. Aww, crap. My daughter is doomed. I love bacon. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/47 "2009-11-07T05:37:26Z")
> [@5-4-Fighting](#): > > Whichever the case may be, I never saw my father’s wang (writing this phrase makes my fingers cramp up) and if that means I’ll remain a homosexual forever and ever because of it, I’ll be proud to remain so based on the non-sighting alone. Ah, the porn version. _Looking at myyyyy father’s wang!_ ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/48 "2009-11-07T17:31:35Z")
Yes, as a previous poster said, the prevailing theory was that it was the same-sex parent with whom the child had a strained or distant relationship. In fact, ‘Mummy’s boy’ was one of the coded insults for any male suspected of batting for the opposition. I’ve never heard the theory posited in the OP. All such theories are codswallop, of course, but if I came across any who believed such things my tendency would be to gently put them right rather than scream at them that they were as bad as Holocaust deniers. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/49 "2009-11-07T17:42:43Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Yes, as a previous poster said, the prevailing theory was that it was the same-sex parent with whom the child had a strained or distant relationship. In fact, ‘Mummy’s boy’ was one of the coded insults for any male suspected of batting for the opposition. I’ve never heard the theory posited in the OP. And even today there is that stereotype (grounded in truth?) of gay men loving and being very attached to their mothers, and adoring strong women types. Does that stereotype hold true for lesbian women? That they’re very close to their fathers? ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/50 "2009-11-07T19:39:19Z")
> [@Milossarian](#): > > That is such backwards thinking. > > Everybody knows that homosexuality is a result of show tunes. [thread=539036]Not anymore.[/thread] ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/51 "2009-11-07T21:15:27Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > And even today there is that stereotype (grounded in truth?) of gay men loving and being very attached to their mothers, and adoring strong women types. > > Does that stereotype hold true for lesbian women? That they’re very close to their fathers? Oddly enough, the “overbearing mother/distant or absent father” family has been blamed for turning both boys and girls gay. The way I’ve heard it is that a boy in such a family will identify too much with his mother, since she’s the stronger parental presence, and will have a longing for male affection that turns into homosexual urges. A girl in such a family feels contempt for her weak father that turns her off men, and her “natural” desire for a dominant partner causes her to seek out women like her mother for romantic relationships. Pretty silly stuff. I suspect the real point of all this is that women are supposed to submit to their husbands and that too much female independence else leads to the destruction of the nuclear family and all decency. I’ve heard some lesbians speculate that lesbians may tend to be closer to their fathers than their mothers (perhaps due to tomboy tendencies as children), but I don’t know that there’s been any actual research on this. I can think of lesbians I know who’ve come from all kinds of different families. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/52 "2009-11-07T22:09:08Z")
I am not sure anyone believes these incidents in life make you gay. It is way too stupid to believe. But it is a result of working backwards. If you refuse to believe the obvious truth that, gays are born that way, you are forced into conjuring up an alternative. But there is none. The ones they dream up are absurd and contrary to evidence . ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978/53 "2009-11-08T16:53:33Z")
I can’t believe you people don’t know that homosexuality is really caused by putting your newborn in the wrong color sleeper. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-who-think-that-homosexuality-is-a-result-of-strained-relationship-with-opposite-sex-parent/515978.md?page=2)