Granted, I am not gay but if I had to see James Dobson naked in the shower that would kill any chance of me ever wanting to see another naked man. Possibly myself included in that.
I am gay, and seeing James Dobson in the shower would kill any chance of me ever wanting to see another naked man.
So the cure works!
Is that what they mean by "scared straight’?
Correct. It has to do with whether your mother kept her shoes on during conception.
You know who else didn’t invoke the Holocaust?
Oh wait, shit, nvrmnd.
I’d heard it as the opposite-sex parent. Something about a distant opposite-sex parent meant the child couldn’t form bonds with members of the opposite sex and therefore grew up to become fabulous!
I think the big holes in the theory started to become more and more obvious with more and more single parents out there. So one absentee parent, but no correlating queerness. Eg/ my buddy was only ever raised by his mom, never had a father figure in his life, but never caught the gay. My sister and I grew up close to both parents who were actively involved in everything we did. She gay, I’m not (although I did wear metallic blue nail polish on my toenails once.)
I think the holes becomes more and more clear as one’s frontal lobes start to develop.
… so, is that why my father refused to let me help him pee when he was bedridden? He was afraid he’d turn me into a lesbian?
I’m reasonably sure that it wouldn’t have worked, but if it had, would it have been terribly tasteless to place the toaster by his gravesite?
Having been fucked in the ass exactly once . . . it was uncomfortable, but not at all painful.
If a strained relationship with one’s mother makes a guy gay, I should be gayer than Liberace times Christmas.
I’ve had a strained relationship with my dad for much of my life, but have never slept with a woman. Well, OK, I kissed one female friend back in college as a joke. Does that count?
Absolutely, you queer! 
It’s just like using a step-bit on a sheet of stainless steel. You don’t want to go jamming the bit into the pilot hole as hard as you can right off the bat, you may sustain serious injury. You want to use lots of cooling oil and press firmly, yet slowly into the pilot hole until the opening slowly widens. Once you’ve put the bit into the proper depth, move the bit in and out a little to release the burrs. When that’s done then you can go at it with gusto.
How do you get the gerbils to cooperate with the gentle start part? Is there like special training available? Drugs?
I’m here! I’m (2%) queer! Get used to it! 
(wanders off singing “I Kissed a Girl”) 
I didn’t know you could be 2% queer, Is there 1% available? How about skim queer?
Does this apply to women, turning gay because of strained relationship with fathers?
With strained relationships with mother AND father, I should be a) gay, b) a whore, c) a gay whore, or d) a serial killer. Or any combination.
e) bi
bi whore serial killer, AND child molester.