# People with unfortunate names **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092 "2003-08-19T01:10:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![aaaaaarrgg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@aaaaaarrgg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aaaaaarrgg)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/81 "2003-08-27T05:09:00Z")
my sister knows someone who is a second grade student with a girl in her class this year named asshole (pronounced ah-show-lee). my mother went to school with a barbara doll (barbie doll) i have a friend ryan kelley. his mom’s first name is kelly, his dad’s is gene, and his sister’s is grace. they are, respectively, r. kelley, kelly kelley, gene kelley, and grace kelley. and none were named such ‘on purpose’. knew a family once, with four kids. faith, hope, joy, and chuck. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/82 "2003-08-27T07:33:08Z")
Growing up, there was a podiatrist’s office at the end of the street. The name on the sign … “Frederick J. Flintstone.” ---
**Author:** ![Theios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e8c25b/32.png) [@Theios](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theios)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/83 "2003-08-27T10:28:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sewalk \* > **When I was in the Army, my company commander, Captain Sandy White (neither of these colors would describe her), was dating another officer from another unit, a Captain Dick (first name unknown). Captain Dick got promoted to, you guessed it, _Major Dick_. I never actually met the man so I cannot say if it was a fitting appelation.** Hey! I was going to post my story of poor Captain Dick, but it looks like you beat me to it. I knew a Captain Dick in the Army when I was in Korea. He wasn’t my commander, but he hung out at the rec center with us a lot. Great guy. I wonder if it’s the same guy. Dick is a common enough last name, so it probably isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![1kBR\_Kid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/dc4da7/32.png) [@1kBR\_Kid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1kBR_Kid)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/84 "2003-08-27T13:28:27Z")
Does it smell like urban legends in here or is it just me? Asshole? Bitch? The jello twins? ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/85 "2003-08-27T13:55:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Freiheit \* > \*\*A client (or something) of my Dad is named Dick Long. Yeah. In the palm pilot, it’s Long, Dick. \*\* This is so funny on so many levels… A Long, Dick in the palm is worth…what? for myself, the school nurse in 5th grade was Mrs. Schatz. ---
**Author:** ![acrossthesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@acrossthesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acrossthesea)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/86 "2003-08-27T15:23:46Z")
In my high school there was a girl named **Ho Lee**. If you just called her by her first name it sounds insulting, so people called her by her full name, which sounds ridiculous. While working at the bookstore I had customers with the following names: **Lauryl Hardy** **Pervis Butt** And one, I forget the first name, but the last name was **Barfus**. The best I’ve ever encountered though, is a man on the military base I live at who is an officer. His official title is **Major Woody**. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/87 "2003-08-27T15:53:57Z")
I was on the subway the other day and myself and my date overheard someone shouting at his kid Payday (a boy). I thought it was perhaps Pédé (doubt it was this one since he was not hispanic) but then paid no mind to it. The kid was well behaved, the guy was paying attention to him and making sure he wasn’t bothering the other passengers. Then a few minutes later he shouts at his youngest (another boy), Salray (I thought he said Celery at first but it lacked a syllable) and then it clicked. I almost feel sorry for the teasing those kids are sure to receive but the guy seemed like a good father. ---
**Author:** ![Nangleator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e19adc/32.png) [@Nangleator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nangleator)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/88 "2003-08-27T16:06:08Z")
Saw a doctor’s name in a directory once. I hope the poor guy didn’t grow up in the U.S. His name was **Bum Suck Lee**. I can only presume he was asian. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/89 "2003-08-27T17:16:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Captain Dick got promoted to, you guessed it, Major Dick. Anyone else thinking of Spaceballs? “Yes, I’m an Asshole, sir. Major Asshole.” But in real life: Ivana Shaver. When you pronounce it “EE - vana” she corrects you - “No, it’s EYE-vana.” Mr Humpage was a customer at a job I had that we all loved even though we never met him. A popular Philipino boy’s name is Phoc. My mum works at schools with lots of Philipino kids and they try (in the name of cultural sensitivity) not to tell parents what to call their kids but when a kid called Phoc Yue came in they had to say something. And my favourite was on a sign in England: Ivor St-Jean Dick. Which if you’re N American doesn’t sound silly but if you’re British it’s pronounced “Iva Singe-in’ Dick.” Now, why would he post that on a sign, in public? ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/90 "2003-08-27T18:50:38Z")
My mother has a cousin named Larry Hokinberry. He married a woman named Mary. They named their sons Gary, and Jerry. So… Larry, Mary, Gary, and Jerry Hokinberry. All I could say was…WOW. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/91 "2003-08-27T19:09:17Z")
The only one I’ve ever come across was on a notice in an office: Ann Key. ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/92 "2003-08-27T19:36:05Z")
My mother’s favorite was found decades ago in the Memphis society pages - Mrs. Clutcher Threefoot. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/93 "2003-08-27T19:46:31Z")
Here’s one from my job today: Nick Ngoc Nguyen. ---
**Author:** ![Delly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Delly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delly)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/94 "2003-08-27T19:52:27Z")
The daughter of a woman I work with has called her child Jack Daniels… Could be a fairly common name but it reminds me of the whiskey. ---
**Author:** ![Roadfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@Roadfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadfood)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/95 "2003-08-27T20:41:47Z")
Some time ago, the Santa Cruz phone book listed one Cashmere Tango Obedience. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/96 "2003-08-27T20:47:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by malkabat \* > **Also forgot about a member of the “Y” where I used to work. An older Korean lady…Duk Kwak.** But did she echo? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/97 "2003-08-27T21:37:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Isabelle \* > \*\*My son’s teacher is “Miss Bitch” \*\* Umm … just 'cause your son _calls_ her that doesn’t mean it’s actually her name … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Vevila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@Vevila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vevila)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/98 "2003-08-27T21:42:02Z")
I was amazed to hear this one on my local NPR station - apparently this lady has given a large chunk of change to the station, so they interviewed her on what it means to have your business mentioned as a sponsor. Her name? Anita Cox. Almost had to pull my car over I started laughing so hard… ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/99 "2003-08-27T23:16:18Z")
I had a professor in college named Richard Dick. ---
**Author:** ![Nefertiti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nefertiti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefertiti)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092/100 "2003-08-28T00:23:23Z")
Knew a family with the last name of Horr…they legally changed it to Harr. Knew a guy name Richard Ball…you did NOT call him Dick Ball unless you wanted a black eye. We had a cop, in our neighborhood, with the last name of Dick. The kids had a great time with that one. “How ya doin’ Officer DICK?” He had the patience of Job, that one.😃 :eek: And…I went to school, with a black guy, name Ivory Snow. WHY would anyone do that to their kid???:smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-with-unfortunate-names/196092.md?page=6)