# People **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 7, 2016, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296 "2016-09-07T19:43:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/21 "2016-09-07T23:46:42Z")
Just wait until they want you to pay for a steak with money. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/22 "2016-09-08T00:36:00Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > If we don’t matter or shouldn’t be taken seriously, then why are you asking us to waste our time interacting with you? Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/23 "2016-09-08T00:53:57Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > If we don’t matter or shouldn’t be taken seriously, then why are you asking us to waste our time interacting with you? We’re not people, we’re just pixels on a screen. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/24 "2016-09-08T00:56:10Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > Not particularly That’s probably because research indicates that the number one factor in personal happiness, or the ability to endure great trauma, or the development of resilience, or long life and good health, is social support. It’s about the closest thing we’ve got to a panacea. I hope for your sake you’ve got some people you can stand to be around. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/25 "2016-09-08T00:57:27Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > We’re not people, we’re just pixels on a screen. My husband calls Dopers my ‘‘imaginary friends.’’ He allows that the ones I’m friends with IRL actually exist. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/26 "2016-09-08T01:10:38Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > That’s probably because research indicates that the number one factor in personal happiness, or the ability to endure great trauma, or the development of resilience, or long life and good health, is social support. It’s about the closest thing we’ve got to a panacea. > > I hope for your sake you’ve got some people you can stand to be around. Research says a lot of things, or if you learn anything about psychology is that it is t an exact science (especially after the news about how several experiments had to be thrown out because they couldn’t be replicated). From my experience, other people don’t help. They don’t fully understand or comprehend, they just pretend. Resilience is something developed on ones own when you realize you can’t count on people. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/27 "2016-09-08T01:29:40Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > From my experience, other people don’t help. They don’t fully understand or comprehend, they just pretend. Resilience is something developed on ones own when you realize you can’t count on people. I know plenty about psychology, considering I have read voraciously to address my own psychological issues, and I’m married to a clinical psychologist. Social support as a protective factor doesn’t come up in one study, it comes up in hundreds upon hundreds of them, across the spectrum, from trauma psychology to positive psychology. The weight of the evidence is profound. ‘Resilience’ has a specific operational definition in each of these studies. I suspect you’re using your own personal one. You’re free to draw your own conclusions, obviously. If you don’t want people around you, nobody’s forcing you. It’s just fucking sad. And TBH, this kind of attitude really sticks in my craw. Setting aside the vast amount of shitty experiences, losses and personal betrayals I have experienced in my own life, there are others who’ve done far more with far worse situations. Viktor Frankl lost his wife and other relatives as a victim of the Holocaust. He was a trauma psychologist and he spent his entire time in the camps studying people to see what made them resilient. Part of the meaning he got out of his own suffering was ministering to other people. He was their therapist, in a fucking concentration camp. When he got out, he wrote a book about it, and spent the rest of his life treating other people with limitless compassion and empathy, regardless of how minor their situation seemed relative to his own experience. I have what feels at times like painful amounts of empathy for the amount of suffering people endure in life, and I don’t tend to measure or compare (Frankl never did.) But when people just throw up their hands and go, ‘‘OMG, I suffered, therefore people suck!’’ that’s where my empathy runs low. You can use your own yardstick for success. As for me, when I stop caring about others, I have officially failed at life. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/28 "2016-09-08T02:20:11Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I know plenty about psychology, considering I have read voraciously to address my own psychological issues, and I’m married to a clinical psychologist. Social support as a protective factor doesn’t come up in one study, it comes up in hundreds upon hundreds of them, across the spectrum, from trauma psychology to positive psychology. The weight of the evidence is profound. > > ‘Resilience’ has a specific operational definition in each of these studies. I suspect you’re using your own personal one. > > You’re free to draw your own conclusions, obviously. If you don’t want people around you, nobody’s forcing you. It’s just fucking sad. > > And TBH, this kind of attitude really sticks in my craw. Setting aside the vast amount of shitty experiences, losses and personal betrayals I have experienced in my own life, there are others who’ve done far more with far worse situations. Viktor Frankl lost his wife and other relatives as a victim of the Holocaust. He was a trauma psychologist and he spent his entire time in the camps studying people to see what made them resilient. Part of the meaning he got out of his own suffering was ministering to other people. He was their therapist, in a fucking concentration camp. When he got out, he wrote a book about it, and spent the rest of his life treating other people with limitless compassion and empathy, regardless of how minor their situation seemed relative to his own experience. > > I have what feels at times like painful amounts of empathy for the amount of suffering people endure in life, and I don’t tend to measure or compare (Frankl never did.) But when people just throw up their hands and go, ‘‘OMG, I suffered, therefore people suck!’’ that’s where my empathy runs low. You can use your own yardstick for success. As for me, when I stop caring about others, I have officially failed at life. I find not caring for others to be a success. You are officially not bound by petty emotions. I also believe empathy to be a weakness with no benefits later in life. I don’t particularly care what other guys did, it doesn’t mean jack. You have to understand psychological studies have to be taken with a grain of salt. Resilience corms from realising that you can’t count on other people for support (which his true) and so you toughen yourself up. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/29 "2016-09-08T02:21:52Z")
I guess in short I would say that my experience defies your research. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/30 "2016-09-08T02:35:58Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > I guess in short I would say that my experience defies your research. I guess in short you are saying that Spice Weasel doesn’t matter and shouldn’t be taken seriously. Got it. You said that in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/31 "2016-09-08T02:55:29Z")
To be fair, he’s saying none of us matter. This brings us back to the question about why he’s bothering to interact with us. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/32 "2016-09-08T03:12:31Z")
A little anomie is quite normal. Taken to the degree of sociopathy, it becomes a problem. Everyone is a little alienated from and by his society. That’s okay: that’s how we get the diversity that we’re supposed to celebrate. Imagine an entire world full of people exactly like you. Unity would be obtained, but so would uniformity. The day would come when you wanted to try something different, and everyone else said, “No, we don’t do that here.” People, by and large, are good folk. We built civilization. We’re a positive-sum species. There are more librarians than murderers. Let’s keep it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/33 "2016-09-08T03:28:10Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > To be fair, he’s saying none of us matter. This brings us back to the question about why he’s bothering to interact with us. I’m not classified as human - I’m a meat popsicle. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/34 "2016-09-08T03:48:27Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > To be fair, he’s saying none of us matter. This brings us back to the question about why he’s bothering to interact with us. Dismissing our opinions and suggestions reinforces his sense of superiority. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/35 "2016-09-08T04:15:44Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > To me they seem loud, obnoxious, always asking questions, telling others how things should be done, intruding on your business. Uhhh, I don’t know how to tell you this but… ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/36 "2016-09-08T04:17:07Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > I guess in short you are saying that Spice Weasel doesn’t matter and shouldn’t be taken seriously. Got it. You said that in the OP. Hey, at least he’s consistent. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/37 "2016-09-08T04:21:02Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > But I also don’t have an excuse to treat people with respect either That doesn’t need an _excuse_. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/38 "2016-09-08T06:10:20Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Dismissing our opinions and suggestions reinforces his sense of superiority. Not really. I don’t consider myself superior to anyone. But I am saying that I don’t regard humans very much. It seems different for animals, but there is nothing for humans. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/39 "2016-09-08T06:11:54Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > Not really. I don’t consider myself superior to anyone. But I am saying that I don’t regard humans very much. It seems different for animals, but there is nothing for humans. So why are you here? (I mean, ‘here at the SDMB’, not ‘here on our planet’) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296/40 "2016-09-08T06:15:05Z")
He sounds like Dr. Heckyll from that Men at Work song. “Loves the world, except for all the people.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people/765296.md?page=3)