# Perfect pooping position **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 1, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069 "2004-07-01T16:25:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fox\_Paws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/85e7bf/32.png) [@Fox\_Paws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Paws)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/1 "2004-07-01T16:25:51Z")
Here’s a question to add to your list of “Things I Could’ve Sworn I Wouldn’t Be Asked Today.” What is the ideal position for humans to do number two? That is, anatomically speaking, if I wanted to make the process of pooping as perfect and painless as possible, how would I stand/sit/lay/whatever? As you might have guessed, I was pondering this question while sitting upon the toilet earlier this morning. I wondered to myself, “Is this really the best way to poop?” It didn’t feel ideal, but I didn’t engage in any experimentation since the dude in the next stall might have had, umm, “issues” with that. So what say you? If my innards had their druthers, how would they want me to position myself for the act of pooping? Standing? Sitting? Reclined? Laying on my stomach (eww)? ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/2 "2004-07-01T17:04:51Z")
You should squat. [http://chetday.com/squattingtoilet.htm](http://chetday.com/squattingtoilet.htm) Makes reading on the loo trickier though. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/3 "2004-07-01T17:17:23Z")
I’m skeptical of the claim that the way I sit on the toilet affects how much I evacuate in one trip to the toilet. I eat a lot of fiber and I drink my share of coffee so my trips are pretty quick and I doubt highly that I am carrying anything extra around in me after my trips. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/4 "2004-07-01T17:22:19Z")
Facing outward on a _Merry Go Round_. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/5 "2004-07-01T17:39:51Z")
> [@](#): > > You should squat. > > [http://chetday.com/squattingtoilet.htm](http://chetday.com/squattingtoilet.htm) > > Makes reading on the loo trickier though. Various works I’ve read support this. **The Bathroom** , an architectural and (somewhat) biomechanic look at bathroom fixtures advocates it. So does **End Product: The Last Taboo** , the overall best book I’ve seen on Number 2. Squatting spreads the buttocks and allows your stomach muscles to bear down. The only time I’ve tried it is when camping. > [@](#): > > Facing outward on a Merry Go Round. **Lieu** , I think you mean facing _inward_. Unless it’s not your face that’s doing the facing. ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/6 "2004-07-01T17:43:43Z")
Squatting is the original prehistoric man, modern aboriginal, and most of the animal kingdom position. On a visit to France in 1958 I found a public accommodtion consisting of a round building with a round depression in the floor, sloping to a 4" or so hole in the middle. Water entered tangentially to flush the basin. In addition to the hole there were two raised “footprints,” one on either side of the hole. Obviously intended for squatters. Guess you will have to learn to perch on the rim of the commode and let the chips fall where they may! ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/7 "2004-07-01T17:48:05Z")
> [@spingears](#): > > Guess you will have to learn to perch on the rim of the commode and let the chips fall where they may! Don’t you mean the peanuts? ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/8 "2004-07-01T18:17:56Z")
Or the corn? ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/9 "2004-07-01T18:27:11Z")
> [@spingears](#): > > On a visit to France in 1958 I found a public accommodtion consisting of a round building with a round depression in the floor, sloping to a 4" or so hole in the middle. Such arrangements are apparently common throughout the world, FWIH. But I’ve always wondered: How is a trouser-wearing person supposed to to use one of these? I mean, if you squat and lean far enough backwards so that you don’t fill your pants with poo, aren’t you going to topple over backwards? Are you supposed to remove your trousers completely? Makes one consider that there are many circumstances in which a Kilt would be superior. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/10 "2004-07-01T18:28:33Z")
I’ve always suspected that going whilst performing the “Helicopter” break-dance maneuver was best, but I’ve never tried it. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/11 "2004-07-01T21:08:32Z")
The perfect pooping position? On the [Nature Splat Form](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=109926), of course. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/12 "2004-07-01T21:38:49Z")
This thread brought back a long repressed memory. Several years ago a local chiropractor used to run a “health tip” type ad in the newspaper. On of the tips was the best position to poop when using a toilet - with a diagram, even. If memory serves, the ad suggested a straight back and feet shoulder width apart with the right foot slightly in front of the left. The straight back makes sense, but even after much experimenting I never figured out what one foot forward position had to do with anything. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perfect-pooping-position/253069/13 "2004-07-01T21:43:32Z")
> [@bughunter](#): > > But I’ve always wondered: How is a trouser-wearing person supposed to to use one of these? I mean, if you squat and lean far enough backwards so that you don’t fill your pants with poo, aren’t you going to topple over backwards? Haven’t you ever done it in the woods? Lower your pants to just above your knees, then spread your feet about 1 ft and squat down. Try it. There will be no obstacles between your butt and the ground.