# Periods - Men just don't get it. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 15, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188 "2014-07-15T17:58:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/61 "2014-07-15T23:41:08Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Maybe it’s just me, but if you can’t be a little bloated and fit into your clothes, maybe your clothes are too small. I get bloated during my period, and also when I’m having an IBS attack, but my clothes still fit. I’d rather get bloated and have my clothes feel tight – my sinuses get bloated. I get fluid in my ears. Ugh! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/62 "2014-07-16T00:11:25Z")
My best friend told me that if she would have a really strong orgasm at the beginning of her period, it would shorten it by days (I guess because of the muscle contractions). ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/63 "2014-07-16T00:53:08Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I totally agree to this. Sometimes you just want to do it to make your SO happy, which in turn, should get you off (to whatever degree). > > Anyway, **Kunilou** is hilariously spot on. Listen to him. And if you won’t take his advice, consider this… I’m female too, and I have no frigging clue when other women are “bloated.” If another of your sex can’t tell, and we’re supposed to be the ones who notice shit like that, what hope is there for the males of the species? The “you still have a mouth” jokes always come when a woman has already turned sex down once. I’d imagine if she was in the mood, she’d already be using her mouth. The jokes are in the same vein of “make me a sandwich”. The "joke"s not about whether the woman might like making him a sandwich sometimes just because she wants to. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/64 "2014-07-16T02:10:59Z")
You’re right-- Guys don’t get it. We can’t, really. How could we know what it’s like? We don’t get them. That’s precisely why we need to be told about these things. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/65 "2014-07-16T02:17:30Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > The “you still have a mouth” jokes always come when a woman has already turned sex down once. I’d imagine if she was in the mood, she’d already be using her mouth. The jokes are in the same vein of “make me a sandwich”. The "joke"s not about whether the woman might like making him a sandwich sometimes just because she wants to. I guess I know different guys. Every time that “joke” has been made to me, I’ve 1.) found it funny and, 2.) been happy to oblige because, yanno, anything that gets me off makes me a happy camper. YM obviously V. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/66 "2014-07-16T02:34:05Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > … she’d already be using her mouth… There’s … uh … sorry, nevermind ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/67 "2014-07-16T02:47:33Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Yeah, thanks **machine elf** ; this thread isn’t much but your links made it worthwhile. Loved the commercial! If you liked that, you’ll enjoy this too: [How To Be A Good Husband During “Ladytimes”](http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2011/5/22/how-to-be-a-good-husband-during-ladytimes.html) ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/68 "2014-07-16T03:13:24Z")
When I had an appendicitis attack, the first thing I said was that I felt bloated. My wife’s reply was,“it sounds like you just got your period.” ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/69 "2014-07-16T03:27:10Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I once made a post here expressing my interest in oral period sex, and how I’ve never been with a woman cool with it. All the female posters on the board then expressed their disgust with the idea. Actually, I related that I once had a boyfriend with similar interests and I was OK with it. But I think I might have been the only one. And you folks suggesting other rides in the “amusement park” - that’s going to vary. Not everyone likes anal. Some women have issues with either constipation or diarrhea or both around that time of the month which might or might not complicate the back door approach. Blowjobs? If both parties are game, sure, but sometimes a woman around period time is so full of bloating, cramping, headaches, and the like that, frankly, she may not feel like sex or even touching/cuddling. Women shouldn’t assume their men are tracking their periods, or know how they feel/react, and should be upfront and plainspoken, like “I feel totally bloated and gross and do not want sex tonight”. It probably wouldn’t hurt if men weren’t so quick to assume that women are reading a situation exactly as they are. Never hurts to ask “Up for sexy fun time?” no matter how sure you about nonverbal signals. If she says “I feel like crap because of PMS/period” you can also ask “what do you like to do to feel better?” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/70 "2014-07-16T03:35:45Z")
About men and how aware they are: (I forget the comedian) Women know everything about their children. Their birthdays, their favorite toys, their favorite colors, who their best friend is this week, who their teacher is, when the best friend’s birthday is, what grades they got last year in school, their spelling words for the week, you get the idea. Men are vaguely aware of some small people in the house. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/71 "2014-07-16T14:26:32Z")
> [@missyevelyn](#): > > I’m honestly convinced than men don’t get it. > > The other night, my boyfriend was over at my place, and we were curled up, watching TV. I was feeling really “fat”, if you know what I mean, so I popped open the top button on my jeans and unzipped them; I felt like I was going to burst. My man would be totally getting it by that point. In fact shagging is a cure for almost everything around these parts. Maybe his previous girlfriends were _different from you_. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/72 "2014-07-16T14:37:39Z")
I’m a guy, and I certainly get it. I go up to my lady after eating, and say, “look at how bloated and full of poop mah belly is!” And still, she claws at my man-flash and insists on sex as if I’m just some piece of sex-meat! Yeesh… _women._ Then we have lots and lots of sex. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/73 "2014-07-16T14:53:45Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I once made a post here expressing my interest in oral period sex, and how I’ve never been with a woman cool with it. All the female posters on the board then expressed their disgust with the idea. > > I think women are more negative on periods than men lol. “…mmhmmnn… You taste like pennies…” ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/74 "2014-07-16T14:54:51Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Maybe his previous girlfriends were _different from you_. Impossible. All men are insensitive jerks who only care about sex and think that every action is a prelude to penetration, just as all women become crabby, bloated monsters for 3-5 days out of every month. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/75 "2014-07-16T15:11:36Z")
Oh, I get it. Never trust anything that bleeds for a week but doesn’t die. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/76 "2014-07-16T15:17:01Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > About men and how aware they are: > (I forget the comedian) > Women know everything about their children. Their birthdays, their favorite toys, their favorite colors, who their best friend is this week, who their teacher is, when the best friend’s birthday is, what grades they got last year in school, their spelling words for the week, you get the idea. > Men are vaguely aware of some small people in the house. I’m almost 100% positive this is from Dave Barry. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/77 "2014-07-16T15:23:08Z")
I’ve never really had an issue with my partner not being understanding about that time of the month, especially because I’ve had so many medical complications as a result. That said, I’m not sure it’s realistic to expect any man to ‘‘get it.’’ A guy can get the basic gist of what it’s like to feel like crap, obviously, but I figure a guy has just as much chance of understanding what it’s like to have PMS as I understand what it’s like to get kicked in the balls. For this reason I think communication, while important at any time, is particularly critical during times like these. IOW, ‘‘Oh, I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood. I have no interest in sex right now’’ should suffice. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/78 "2014-07-16T15:29:33Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > I’m almost 100% positive this is from Dave Barry. That was my first reaction as well. I think it’s from “Complete Guide to Guys” or “Guide to Life.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/79 "2014-07-16T15:30:26Z")
> [@missyevelyn](#): > > Funny one. > > But still, at least you guys can be a bit more sympathetic. I’m convinced that if men got periods, there would be no such thing as a “period joke.” 🙂 You don’t get comedy, then. There would be \*\*ten times \*\*as many period jokes. How many poop jokes are there? A zillion? That’s because everyone has to crap. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188/80 "2014-07-16T15:32:48Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > How many poop jokes are there? A zillion? That’s because everyone has to crap. [Cite.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyone_Poops) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/periods-men-just-dont-get-it/693188.md?page=5)