# Perry the Showman \[Rick Perry's speeches and debate performances\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [November 1, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460 "2011-11-01T04:22:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/61 "2011-11-10T14:31:14Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > “I propose to dismantle the 5 agencies…” > > “Three agencies…” Dismantle that agency! Though, keeping with the _Name That Tune_ theme, maybe if he’d had a staffer on hand to hum a few bars of “The Wall”, he would have been prompted to remember that his platform says we don’t need no Department of Education…l ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/62 "2011-11-10T15:01:14Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > “I propose to dismantle the 5 agencies…” > > “Three agencies…” Five is right out. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/63 "2011-11-10T15:01:28Z")
It’s a good thing he wasn’t holding the Holy Handgrenade. ---
**Author:** ![bunnymom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c4cdca/32.png) [@bunnymom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bunnymom)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/64 "2011-11-10T15:05:07Z")
Every time this happens, I keep expecting Perry to bust into a little jig like Ashley Simpson on SNL. One can dream… ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/65 "2011-11-10T15:09:05Z")
> [@bunnymom](#): > > Every time this happens, I keep expecting Perry to bust into a little jig like Ashley Simpson on SNL. > > One can dream… That would be the best thing ever. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/66 "2011-11-10T15:12:17Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > (he also didn’t exactly cover himself with glory throwing in the EPA just because someone suggested it, and then walking it back when called on it). To me, that was the comic high point of the thing - when the moderator actually said “Seriously?” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/67 "2011-11-10T15:15:39Z")
Perry’s campaign was dead in the water a few weeks ago, but I congratulate him on finding a very entertaining way to finish it off. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/68 "2011-11-10T15:19:59Z")
It’s weird. I disagree with pretty much everything Perry says (except that narrow band of issues where the Republicans hate him) but… I feel sorry for him. If any other candidate did that stuff, I’d be chuckling with glee. When it’s him, I just feel a sick sort of pity. I’m apparently getting old and… nice or something. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/69 "2011-11-10T15:21:53Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Perry’s campaign was dead in the water a few weeks ago, but I congratulate him on finding a very entertaining way to finish it off. You’d think that somebody had kidnapped his dog and was holding it for ransom to blackmail him into throwing the election. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/70 "2011-11-10T15:24:16Z")
My question is how does he bow out gracefully at this point? It’s not like there are any primaries and caucuses taking place right now…how does he exit this freefall without completely looking like he was in over his head. If you were Candidate Perry, how would you bow out gracefully at this point in time? Or do you just wait for the first caucus and quit immediately afterward? Does he skip the rest of the debates? ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/71 "2011-11-10T15:27:14Z")
I sort of feel sorry for him too. A little bit anyway. I think it’s because he’s beginning to look just utterly clueless instead of evil. He really needs to just hush up. Leave us wondering which one at least. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/72 "2011-11-10T15:30:07Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > My question is how does he bow out gracefully at this point? Bowing out gracefully is not really an option when you’ve spent several weeks embarassing yourself. I assume he will stick it out through Iowa and New Hampshire at least - he probably has more than enough money and things can’t get much worse anyway, and maybe somehow they’ll get better. Say if one of his chief competitors gets involved in a continuing sex scandal. Assuming he loses a couple of primaries by large margins, he goes back to Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/73 "2011-11-10T15:31:38Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > . . . Well, the one that he was trying to remember (Dept of Energy) keeps track of where our nuclear bombs are. Someone else could do that bit. And if you allow faith-based groups to qualify . . . ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/74 "2011-11-10T15:32:32Z")
“Act like a moron, or the puppy gets it!” I saw this on the morning news and it was truly cringe-worthy. That and the very fact that he wants to dismantle three federal departments without explaining how the duties performed by them are to be handled otherwise. I am all for decreasing the size of government, but it can’t be done in a willy-nilly manner. The last thing we need right now is more chaos. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/75 "2011-11-10T15:33:18Z")
In the last Gubernatorial race Perry refused to debate ex Houston Mayor Bill White, claiming he wouldn’t do so until White released his tax returns for the last x number of years. We knew it then and he’s proven it since that in reality he declined because he knew he’d get his ass kicked. Not only does he lack the presentation skill set, he’s also bringing a plastic fork to a knife fight with his indefensible, muddled platform and policies. I feel no sympathy at all watching this arrogant prick get his comeuppance. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/76 "2011-11-10T15:37:25Z")
I’ve merged **Da Mikster** ’s thread into this one since Perry’s debate gaffes were being discussed in both. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/77 "2011-11-10T16:08:46Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > “I propose to dismantle the 5 agencies…” > > “Three agencies…” > > How did he get to be governor, again? It’s Texas. I still ROFL that he actually claimed that he would beat Obama in a debate. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/78 "2011-11-10T16:23:47Z")
Oh man… that _is_ brutal. Holy fuck. I’d heard about it on the news this morning, but that did it no justice. I’m listening to the debate right now, and even _I_ felt bad for him briefly. Then I remembered that he’s a dickhead, then played it again and laughed. Bonus points for him trying to divert from his little fuck-up by railing on the EPA, then finishing it off with “Oops.” ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/79 "2011-11-10T16:26:49Z")
There are powerful people who find Perry an obedient public servant. He would follow orders very well if he was given enough money. But even they have to bail out now. He is Palin in drag. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/80 "2011-11-10T17:33:27Z")
Perry as Maxwell Smart: Would you believe it, I’ve got three agencies to dismantle to save the government billions. _Three_ agencies! Moderator: I find that hard to believe. Name them. Perry. Would you believe two agencies? Moderator: Go on … Perry: How about the White House bowling alley? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460.md?page=5)