# Perry the Showman \[Rick Perry's speeches and debate performances\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [November 1, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460 "2011-11-01T04:22:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/101 "2011-11-10T23:30:00Z")
You know who else was upset with Rick Perry flubbing his lines? [That’s right!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=Y1Yyb13Dkrc) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/102 "2011-11-10T23:34:51Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > … > > I guess. But I can’t really see disappearing from the debates helping him either. And even if he did, if he got the nomination, he’d still have to debate Obama in the general. Probably better to work on his debating now while he’s still in the kiddie pool. I just heard some pundit make some comments about Romney in the debate, but that are applicable to all of them. They are not debating, because their positions are all essentially the same. Plus, they really don’t have command of enough facts to offer substantive challenges. And because they aren’t being challenged, they are not improving as debaters and they are not improving as candidates. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/103 "2011-11-11T00:20:33Z")
> [@Bridget\_Burke](#): > > That doesn’t explain the three elections he’s actually won since then. Except that there were so many “special” candidates in [2006](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_gubernatorial_election,_2006) that the opposition was splintered; thanks to everybody who thought it was cute to vote for Kinky! I noticed that Kinky wrote a glowing endorsement for Perry when he announced he was running for president. What the hell is his angle? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/104 "2011-11-11T00:27:36Z")
I heard Jim Hightower a few weeks ago say that Perry “puts the goober back into gubernatorial”. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/105 "2011-11-11T00:40:59Z")
I don’t know how he’s gonna go back home and be a serious, dignified governor after this. He’s making Dubya look down-right articulate. I feel sorry for him too. I’m having flashbacks to that movie Bullworth. I’m picturing him right now in a lonely hotel room, knocking back some Johnny Walker and wishing for death. He needs Halle Berry to make things right. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/106 "2011-11-11T00:43:03Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Don’t forget that Romney and Perry seem to dislike each other personally. Based on that, I don’t think Romney would ever pick him. Unless Romney changes his mind for political reasons, of course, but what are the odds of that? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/107 "2011-11-11T01:28:33Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > I noticed that Kinky wrote a glowing endorsement for Perry when he announced he was running for president. What the hell is his angle? Wanting a second Obama administration, sounds like… ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/108 "2011-11-11T02:11:35Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Perry as Maxwell Smart: Would you believe it, I’ve got three agencies to dismantle to save the government billions. _Three_ agencies! > > Moderator: I find that hard to believe. Name them. > > Perry. Would you believe two agencies? > > Moderator: Go on … > > Perry: How about the White House bowling alley? " … missed it by that much!" ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/109 "2011-11-11T14:23:06Z")
Perry’s top 10 excuses on [Letterman](http://www.cbs.com/late_night/late_show/video/?pid=MfZg72aqRlmjrNCFiDTNs2Gi5Fyhf70Z&vs=Default&play=true) (autoplay video) was pretty good. [QUOTE=Reason #6] You try concentrating with Mitt Romney smiling at you. That is one handsome dude. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/110 "2011-11-11T14:44:35Z")
It’s comedy gold, I tell ya. Poking fun at himself is probably the second smartest thing Perry could do. The first would be admitting he’s in over his head and drop out. Is there a betting pool somewhere on what day he’ll call it quits? I’m thinking maybe less than two weeks, but I don’t actually feel strong enough about it to put my money where my mouth is. He just might be goofy enough to keep going. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/111 "2011-11-11T15:00:16Z")
Never underestimate Perry’s goofiness. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/112 "2011-11-11T18:28:37Z")
The only time it’s possible to quit, at this point, is immediately after a primary or caucus. So he’ll hang on until Iowa, and then quit. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/113 "2011-11-12T19:27:41Z")
Assuming he got anything right, he wants to abolish the Commerce Dept. They are responsible for the constitutionally mandated census, the Hurricane Center. national weather Service, and the institution of Standards and technologies. Those are really big problems aren’t they. It has a small budget too. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/114 "2011-11-12T22:32:26Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > Assuming he got anything right, he wants to abolish the Commerce Dept. They are responsible for the constitutionally mandated census, the Hurricane Center. national weather Service, and the institution of Standards and technologies. Those are really big problems aren’t they. It has a small budget too. And the Patent Office, which is also (more or less) constitutionally mandated. And the DOEnergy spends most of its money on nuclear stockpile stewardship. Unless Perry is advocating disarmament, which is pretty unlikley, the DOE probably isn’t going anywhere. And the DOEd biggest item is PEL grants, which are pretty popular. I doubt he’d get rid of those. And it contains a smorgosborg of other programs which are pretty popular and have strong constituencies. Which I think is why his debate performance was more damaging then just a brain fart. These departments are largely made up of popular and/or necessary bits of the gov’t. I wouldn’t say they absolutely can’t be gotten rid of, but it’d be a pretty big damn deal, with massive changes to the way the United States works. He not only couldn’t think of the name of the DOEn, he couldn’t even give a description of the Dept he was thinking of. It made it painfully obvious that he’d spent all of five minutes thinking about a campaign promise that would be the biggest change to how gov’t is run in the last fifty plus years. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/115 "2011-11-13T16:41:15Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > Oops. Gah! The obvious answer to the third agency was “Hi Opal!” If only Ron Paul had whispered THAT! ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/116 "2011-11-13T21:56:43Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > And the Patent Office, which is also (more or less) constitutionally mandated. > > And the DOEnergy spends most of its money on nuclear stockpile stewardship. Unless Perry is advocating disarmament, which is pretty unlikley, the DOE probably isn’t going anywhere. > > And the DOEd biggest item is PEL grants, which are pretty popular. I doubt he’d get rid of those. And it contains a smorgosborg of other programs which are pretty popular and have strong constituencies. > > Which I think is why his debate performance was more damaging then just a brain fart. These departments are largely made up of popular and/or necessary bits of the gov’t. I wouldn’t say they absolutely can’t be gotten rid of, but it’d be a pretty big damn deal, with massive changes to the way the United States works. He not only couldn’t think of the name of the DOEn, he couldn’t even give a description of the Dept he was thinking of. > > It made it painfully obvious that he’d spent all of five minutes thinking about a campaign promise that would be the biggest change to how gov’t is run in the last fifty plus years. He is simply repeating what he has been told to by handlers. I am not sure he has any political convictions . He is like Palin. Suddenly found himself in the limelight due to strange politicians circumstances, and then saw money and power at the end of the road. They don’t have grand plans for America. They have grand plans for their own bank accounts. If Perry had a real dislike for the agencies in question, he could have expressed it. As usual he brings nothing to the debates . And like Palin, he does not do his homework. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/117 "2011-11-14T06:24:24Z")
> [@Nars\_Glinley](#): > > Perry’s top 10 excuses on [Letterman](http://www.cbs.com/late_night/late_show/video/?pid=MfZg72aqRlmjrNCFiDTNs2Gi5Fyhf70Z&vs=Default&play=true) (autoplay video) was pretty good. I gotta admit I’m kinda starting to enjoy the goofy Rick Perry. I shudder at the idea of him being President but he does make me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/118 "2011-11-14T09:18:54Z")
What do you guys think the third agency was supposed to be? What would fit? ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/119 "2011-11-14T09:46:43Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > What do you guys think the third agency was supposed to be? What would fit? He mentioned it later on in the debate in response to an unrelated question. The third department was the Department of Energy. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460/120 "2011-11-14T17:28:03Z")
> [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](#): > > I gotta admit I’m kinda starting to enjoy the goofy Rick Perry. I shudder at the idea of him being President but he does make me laugh. Yeah, Nixon was funny on **Laugh-In** , and we know how that turned out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/perry-the-showman-rick-perrys-speeches-and-debate-performances/601460.md?page=7)