# Personal ad cliche: "No head games" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 14, 2008, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920 "2008-08-14T00:57:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![zeno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zeno/32/15040_2.png) [@zeno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zeno)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/1 "2008-08-14T00:57:38Z")
I see this frequently, but mostly from women. I understand the sort of games they’re talking about, but women play head games too; yet men rarely specify “no head games” in the women they seek. Anybody have any theories as to why? (Please don’t say men play more head games than women.) ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/2 "2008-08-14T01:15:12Z")
I don’t know for sure, but I’d guess it’s because men are _percieved_ as playing more “head games” than women. Not saying they do though. And women think of themselves as interested in “sincere relationships”, hence, they don’t want to get jerked around in pursuit of such. Just my WAG. When I view the ads in our local paper, it seems to me that the ads for “men seeking” mention body types more often than women. They want someone “slim” or “attractive”. If they’re being a little less blunt, it’ll be “physically fit.” But once I saw a guy who specified “no fatties” Wonder why _he_ had to go looking for love in the personals? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/3 "2008-08-14T01:44:45Z")
It’s the posters way of saying, “I play head games.” Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/4 "2008-08-14T02:42:46Z")
Some other boring cliches include “loves to laugh,” “family and friends are very important to me,” and “love to travel.” ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/5 "2008-08-14T02:43:45Z")
“No head games. Footsie is OK, though.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/6 "2008-08-14T03:34:01Z")
PArt of it is just the tired cliche bit. A remarkable number of people are quite unable to grasp the obvious notion that their past failed relationships _are in part their fault_. As obviously true as that is - it logically pretty much has to be - I’ve known plenty of people who simply couldn’t emotionally accept that fact; all failed relationships were their various exes’ fault, without fail. In every relationship they had, they were the protagonist-victim, and the ex was the antagonist-villian. If that’s the world you inhabit, all your disagreements with your ex will have been a case of you being honest and them playing “mind games.” Some people just can’t develop their brains past the inability to see the absurdity of this, but there it is. Women, anyway, seem to frequently verbalize this as “mind games.” Guys will say their ex was “psycho” or a “psycho bitch,” which is essentially the same thing, but that reads a lot worse on a personal ad so you won’t see it much. If I may offer some personal advice, avoid any woman (or man) who would put something like that in their personal ad. Someone can’t even remain positive in a 100-word ad advertising THEMSELVES is likely not someone you want to struggle through a relationship with. ---
**Author:** ![JimmyFlair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce7236/32.png) [@JimmyFlair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyFlair)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/7 "2008-08-14T04:51:07Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] Women, anyway, seem to frequently verbalize this as “mind games.” Guys will say their ex was “psycho” or a “psycho bitch,” which is essentially the same thing, but that reads a lot worse on a personal ad so you won’t see it much. [/QUOTE] See also “controlling”. Women I’ve known complaining about those evil men in their lives usually describe them as “controlling”. When pressed for examples of how these guys “controlled” them, it was “well, you know, it’s not like I can think of one particular example or anything. He just had a controlling way about him” I have personally known three women who uttered that sentence almost verbatim. Jimmy (non-psycho female) Flair ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/8 "2008-08-14T05:47:05Z")
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger] It’s the posters way of saying, “I play head games.” Seriously. [/QUOTE] Agreed. In fact, these sort of comments in a dating profile are kind of a corollary to the old saw about advice being most applicable to the advisor. [QUOTE=RickJay] A remarkable number of people are quite unable to grasp the obvious notion that their past failed relationships _are in part their fault_. As obviously true as that is - it logically pretty much has to be - I’ve known plenty of people who simply couldn’t emotionally accept that fact; all failed relationships were their various exes’ fault, without fail…If I may offer some personal advice, avoid any woman (or man) who would put something like that in their personal ad. Someone can’t even remain positive in a 100-word ad advertising THEMSELVES is likely not someone you want to struggle through a relationship with. [/QUOTE] More sagacious advice was never offered, excepting “Don’t invade Russia in winter,” and possibly “Never start a land war in Asia.” (Sorry, they were playing Pat Benatar at the grocery store so romance/war metaphors are now stuck in my head for the remainder of the evening.) Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/9 "2008-08-14T05:58:30Z")
i think it means she doesn’t like playing hide the other variation of hide the sausage. (Or hide the cannoli as the case may be.) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/10 "2008-08-14T06:07:24Z")
I think it means that they’re looking for a guy dumber than they are. You know, the type _they_ can control. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/11 "2008-08-14T06:20:13Z")
Being the kind of person who thinks like an evil overlord/mastermind (on good days) or just a plain dick (on the off ones), but never acts on the thoughts I have to say that if I DID, I’d take them up on their ad, and then play annoying subtle mind games with them, you know, just to piss them off. Seriously, advertising you DON’T want something (not just personals, but it applies to buying things and such as well) is almost an implicit invitation for those who ARE that way just to screw with you. May be sad, but I find it to be true all too often. mildly NSFW obligatory link: [http://www.cracked.co](http://www.cracked.co) m/article\_15241\_craigslist-personal-ad-translator.html ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/12 "2008-08-14T15:51:29Z")
Y’all are just messing with my head, aren’t you… 😉 Dunno why someone would write that, but that phrase can refer to a variety of behaviors, from refusing to allow themselves to be driven (as in a car) by anyone else to not calling the day after sex has occurred. I sense a certain atmosphere here of “gee, we guys are just straightforward blokes and it’s all her psycho stuff” which is not only a gross generalization, but also patently untrue. Emotionally immature people come in both genders, so do controlling drama queens and kings. I don’t think I’d answer an ad that had that phrase: too much baggage is what it says to me. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/13 "2008-08-14T16:02:27Z")
[QUOTE=Ponch8] Some other boring cliches include “loves to laugh,” “family and friends are very important to me,” and “love to travel.” [/QUOTE] You forgot “living life to the fullest”. 🙂 (oh, and putting “negative people” as one of their dislikes - because it’s important to make that clear) ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/14 "2008-08-14T16:29:25Z")
I like to go for long walks. Sunsets and puppies are nice too. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/15 "2008-08-14T17:36:14Z")
Also, the popular “if you are just looking for a fling, then keep on looking” means that the chick has been laid more times than concrete, but she wants you to think that she is the Virgin Mary… ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/16 "2008-08-14T21:32:37Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] I like to go for long walks. Sunsets and puppies are nice too. [/QUOTE] On the beach? Long walks gotta be either on the beach or in the rain. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/17 "2008-08-14T21:44:03Z")
[QUOTE=jtgain] Also, the popular “if you are just looking for a fling, then keep on looking” means that the chick has been laid more times than concrete, but she wants you to think that she is the Virgin Mary.. [/QUOTE] Ain’t that the truth. Every single gal I’ve ever met at a bar and had sex with the same evening has said, “I’ve never done this before.” Every. Single. One. [QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] On the beach? Long walks gotta be either on the beach or in the rain. [/QUOTE] Why do they have to be mutually exclusive? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/18 "2008-08-14T21:52:11Z")
I read “no head games” as “I will ridiculously over-analyze your every move over coffee with my girlfriends.” ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/19 "2008-08-14T23:43:42Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] More sagacious advice was never offered, excepting “Don’t invade Russia in winter,” and possibly “Never start a land war in Asia.” [/QUOTE] Also, never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line! > [@Fish](#): > > I read “no head games” as “I will ridiculously over-analyze your every move over coffee with my girlfriends.” I thought that was kind of a given. I’ve given up being upset over that. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920/20 "2008-08-14T23:50:26Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] On the beach? Long walks gotta be either on the beach or in the rain. [/QUOTE] I’m sorry, I can’t quite make out what you’ve typed there… I’m drinking wine by candlelight. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ad-cliche-no-head-games/459920.md?page=2)