# Personal Ads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437 "2002-07-17T16:43:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437/21 "2002-07-18T11:48:37Z")
SWM says the heck with relationships and head games, I’m becoming a priest a taking vows of chastity. [size=1]Bet I’d get a _ton_ of responses…[size] ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437/22 "2002-07-18T11:50:18Z")
Criminey. I can’t code today worth beans. And with the size fubar, I _certainly_ won’t get many responses. Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Sea and all the ships at America. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437/23 "2002-07-18T12:20:01Z")
I always had troubkle getting dates. None of the “traditional” ways worked for me, so I started placing personals back before they were _really_ popular, and was perfectly positioned wjen the trend caught up to me. Unfortunately, I never got a lot of responses, and to this day I don’t know why. Eventually I placed an ad in cryptogram form. I figured that it would attract some attention, and any ouzzle-solver interested enough to work it out would contact me afterwards. The first week, though, it didn’t run – the editor looked at the ad filled with apparent gibberish and concluded it was all a typo. I called them up to complain, and it was re-instated. I git three responses, all from puzzle-solvers. None of them wanted a date, though. They just like solving puzzles, and they asked if I could run another one. None of them tumbled to my real name being encoded in another code under the original message. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437/24 "2002-07-18T16:45:08Z")
I’ve actually got a Matches ad in the Chicago Reader that comes out today. A prize (of my choosing) to the person who can identify it and post it here… I met my last S.O. when I responded to his Reader ad. It didn’t work out, but not because I met him through an ad. It turned out that we knew people in common, and might conceivably have met each other elsewhere at some point. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437/25 "2002-07-18T17:14:41Z")
MSM (married stripped male) ISO someone who wouldn’t get a restrainging order just because I scratched her name and mine 6000 times in to the paint job on her car with my fingernails after our first date. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437/26 "2002-07-18T18:07:59Z")
IWF (Involved White Female) ISO slightly crazy, funny guy with no family issues. (Mine or yours.) Me: average height, above average sense of humor. No schlock, please. The only time I want to take long walks on the beach is if the keg is somewhere else. Must be able to attend as many as 150 concerts a year or just not bitch about me going to them, and appreciate the fact that I have broad taste in music. Must also be able to put up with psychotic 26 pound cat that hates people in general. Controlling, possesive bastards need not apply. **Zebra,** you silly. You have to scratch the names in _your_ car, and drive to her house at 3 in the morning and pull a “Say Anything” type move. That way you can prove you’re not crazy, just _devoted_! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437/27 "2002-07-18T18:10:08Z")
Pudgy Suburban Mom ISO someone to put up with her lousy housekeeping, indifferent cooking, and lame yet unrelenting sense of humor. Scrabble fan a bonus. I have no problem with wealth. * * * Actually I met my husband via a personal ad. Twice. The first time, I answered his ad, we met, and he never called me again, which I found so insulting I swore off personal ads and the losers who place them. But about four years later I had a change of heart. I found one ad to answer–an ad written by the same guy, who had just placed one again after a relationship ended. Go figure. When I figured out who he was (in the getting-to-know-you phone call) I was aghast. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to meet again (since I obviously didn’t impress him the first time). But he talked me into it. And you can see what happened: Happy marriage, beautiful child, dog, cat, mortgage. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437/28 "2002-07-18T18:44:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BlinkingDuck \* > \*\*Personal ad to English translation guide: > > Full figured — fat > Financially secure — has a job > height/weight proportional — fat > must like kids — must like other people’s kids > \*\* You missed a couple: Care free – unemployed Fun loving – irresponsible Social drinker – alcoholic Family oriented – lives with mom Open minded – closeted Discreet – will post details of your sex life on-line [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personal-ads/119437.md?page=1)