# Personalized illnesses, by MSK! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 5, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619 "2000-05-05T00:02:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/1 "2000-05-05T00:02:47Z")
Here is my own personalized illness: **TICS** (not the insect, or facial muscle spasms) \*\*TICS = \*Terminal Involuntary Celibacy Syndrome \*\*\* ☹ I am still seeking a permanent cure, or at the very least, to send it into remission. 😃 However, I fear it has already fully metastasized. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BigRoryG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f07891/32.png) [@BigRoryG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigRoryG)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/2 "2000-05-05T00:14:44Z")
Nice… I’m so in on the ground floor of this one. Hook me up. ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/3 "2000-05-05T00:33:29Z")
Oh, what the hell! I have a sig, a profile, a patron saint designation, I’m in line for a flame by Satan…go ahead. Give me an illness. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/4 "2000-05-05T00:38:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Nice… I’m so in on the ground floor of this one. > > Hook me up. > \*\* BigRoryG, I don’t know what your “symptoms” are. Name your symptoms and I’ll give yours a label. 😃 **Anyone who wants a personalized illness, please specify your symptoms. I apologize for not specifying this in my OP** ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/5 "2000-05-05T00:44:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Oh, what the hell! I have a sig, a profile, a patron saint designation, I’m in line for a flame by Satan…go ahead. Give me an illness. > \*\* **JIABITIS** Jeannie-in-a-bottle-itis The condition of having too many personalizations, making one feel trapped and claustrophobic, like a genie in a bottle. ---
**Author:** ![FlatULance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@FlatULance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlatULance)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/6 "2000-05-05T00:53:15Z")
I have an illness. Howabout B\_line12? ---
**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/7 "2000-05-05T01:00:17Z")
I have an illness, it’s called a wife. But really, the illness is 3 women in the house (thank goodness they don’t pms at the same time) ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/8 "2000-05-05T01:02:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > Nice… I’m so in on the ground floor of this one. > > > > Hook me up. > > \*\* > > BigRoryG, I don’t know what your “symptoms” are. Name your symptoms and I’ll give yours a label. 😃 > > **Anyone who wants a personalized illness, please specify your symptoms. I apologize for not specifying this in my OP** > \*\* On second thought, BigRoryG, here is my diagnosis. **Bigrorygialgia** a mysterious cellular mutation resulting in an abnormally large head. Caused by cerebral rentention of The Straight Dope. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/9 "2000-05-05T01:04:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I have an illness. Howabout B\_line12? > \*\* Flat, I think your name already says it all. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/10 "2000-05-05T04:16:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I have an illness. Howabout B\_line12? > \*\* Alright this is the SECOND time you have mentioned my name despairingly! What the hell is up with that?? First I see you call me a troll in the pit? WHY? How did I offend you? ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/11 "2000-05-05T04:33:09Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > Alright this is the SECOND time you have mentioned my name despairingly! What the hell is up with that?? First I see you call me a troll in the pit? WHY? How did I offend you? > \*\* B\_Line12, due to your situation, you don’t need a personalized illness from me. However, I recommend Beano or Gas-X to eradicate **FlatULance** Better yet, where is is _Billy Goats Gruff_ when you need him? Hang in there, B\_Line12. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/12 "2000-05-05T05:44:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > B\_Line12, due to your situation, you don’t need a personalized illness from me. However, I recommend Beano or Gas-X to eradicate **FlatULance** Better yet, where is is _Billy Goats Gruff_ when you need him? Hang in there, B\_Line12. 😃 > \*\* _LOL_ Thanks MSK! I think the Beano did the trick, at least I hope so. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![KP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a9adbd/32.png) [@KP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/13 "2000-05-05T06:22:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I’m so in on the ground floor of this one. > > Hook me up. > \*\* I’ll guess… Refractory Major Depression? You sound like you’re subconsciously asking for ECT (electroshock) ---
**Author:** ![BigRoryG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f07891/32.png) [@BigRoryG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigRoryG)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/14 "2000-05-05T12:12:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > **Bigrorygialgia** a mysterious cellular mutation resulting in an abnormally large head. Caused by cerebral rentention of The Straight Dope. > \*\* How amazingly accurate. Not only do I have a figurative “big head” (sometimes, not all the time) but my actual physical head is enormous. When I joined the football team in grade 9, I spent half the seasopn on the bench waiting for my custom made helmet. Hat size is 8 1/2!!! Good Job, SMK!! ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/15 "2000-05-05T20:55:06Z")
aha, this one is for you: _ **Constipation** _ **C** ecil **O** bsessive **N** uerological **S** yndrome **T** ransmogrifying **I** nto **P** roactive **A** nal **T** umescence **I** nvolving **O** lfactory **N** erves 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/16 "2000-05-05T21:12:45Z")
Let me take a moment and clap my hands like a madman! _clap_ _clap_ _clap_ ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/17 "2000-05-05T21:20:47Z")
Okay, I’m game. And, hey, the first to admit “Inky” sounds like something that might require an ointment… ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/18 "2000-05-05T21:46:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Okay, I’m game. > > And, hey, the first to admit “Inky” sounds like something that might require an ointment… > \*\* Here is your diagnosis, Inky. **Cannibatarinamcolism** A painful, inflammatory, viral rash of the epidermis of the buttocks. Cause: Repeatedly being bit on the ass by Pac Man. Apparently only three other cases of this disease have ever been recorded. These individuals were named Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde and were diagnosed sometime in the mid 1980’s. ---
**Author:** ![single\_files](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@single\_files](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/single_files)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/19 "2000-05-05T21:48:37Z")
I don’t really need an illness, but at least now I know where I may have contracted this nasty case of TICS I’ve been suffering from. If you find a cure, please let me know. ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619/20 "2000-05-08T05:05:12Z")
Sadly, I have a raging case of TICS as well, but unfortunately that makes me nothing more than a copy cat. I want an illness of my very own. Pretty please. Diagnose me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/personalized-illnesses-by-msk/18619.md?page=2)