# Persons willing to have one-night stands: does the other person's marital status matter? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184 "2011-12-05T21:42:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/1 "2011-12-05T21:42:47Z")
Poll in a moment. And no, I’m not going to include an option for persons NOT willing to engage in one-night stands. The results will be private, though. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/2 "2011-12-05T21:45:41Z")
I don’t see your poll yet, but I’ll never sleep with a married guy if I can avoid it. I’ve seen my best friend go through hell because she fell in love with one and I learned my lesson. And of course he went back to the first woman, as expected. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/3 "2011-12-05T21:55:28Z")
Marital status is waaay down on the list of things I’d check for. The main issues are whether she is female and has a pulse. Beggars ≠ choosers. Surely married people aren’t normally running around having one night stands, though? I’d imagine the chances of running into one would be low. Or am I just being naive? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/4 "2011-12-05T21:58:05Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Marital status is waaay down on the list of things I’d check for. The main issues are whether she is female and has a pulse. Beggars ≠ choosers. > > Surely married people aren’t normally running around having one night stands, though? I’d imagine the chances of running into one would be low. Or am I just being naive? Well – how about I call you _sweet_ rather than naive? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/5 "2011-12-05T21:59:06Z")
With a married person only if that person is in an open relationship – and I’m pretty sure she’s not lying about that. ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/6 "2011-12-05T22:10:16Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Marital status is waaay down on the list of things I’d check for. The main issues are whether she is female and has a pulse. Beggars ≠ choosers. > > Surely married people aren’t normally running around having one night stands, though? I’d imagine the chances of running into one would be low. Or am I just being naive? Yup you’re being naive…I get hit on a\*\* ton \*\*by married men, with the ring on their finger too! Guess those vows no longer hold weight… ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/7 "2011-12-05T22:47:13Z")
Why isn’t this a public poll? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/8 "2011-12-05T22:50:37Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > Why isn’t this a public poll? Are you kidding? ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/9 "2011-12-05T22:59:44Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Are you kidding? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/10 "2011-12-05T23:06:07Z")
I’m curious about those who voted “…only if married.” ? Why? I wouldn’t knowingly scrump a married guy, even as a casual hook-up. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/11 "2011-12-05T23:11:08Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > I’m curious about those who voted “…only if married.” ? Why? > > I wouldn’t knowingly scrump a married guy, even as a casual hook-up. If you’re a married person seeking extramarital affairs, you may wish to confine yourself to persons who have as much to lose if the affair is revealed as you do. One might argue that this was Herman Cain’s mistake (along with keeping a mistress for as long as he is as alleged to). ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/12 "2011-12-05T23:15:09Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > I’m curious about those who voted “…only if married.” ? Why? > > I wouldn’t knowingly scrump a married guy, even as a casual hook-up. I think married women are more attractive to men wanting a roll in the hay than married men are to women who are looking for the same thing. If you’re a guy and all you want is sex, a married woman is a pretty good risk. Chances are she’s not going to go all weird on you and start demanding jewelry and commitment and falling in love n’ shit. 'Tis my theory, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/13 "2011-12-05T23:16:28Z")
It’s not my job to police someone else’s marriage, however, I would not hit on someone with a ring on their finger. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/14 "2011-12-06T00:11:29Z")
Back when I was engaging in one-night stands . . . or five-minute stands, for that matter . . . the more casual the connection, the less likely that the topic of marital status would even come up. But my general rule was that, if I knew from the beginning that the guy was married, I’d find someone else. But if we’re halfway through the night and the “cheating” has already occurred, it’s kind of silly to end it then and there. The bottom line is this: “Married” can mean many different things, and he should know the context of their relationship. If he’s breaking his vow of monogamy, it’s something that he has to deal with, and it’s not my responsibility to deal with it retroactively. He’s an adult, and perfectly capable of making his own choices without my help. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/15 "2011-12-06T00:13:04Z")
In theory, I’d like to say unmarried only. But I don’t know. With the right amount of alcohol and if the woman I’m into is really over the top hot; I might just go for it anyway. I’m not particularly proud of that. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/16 "2011-12-06T03:10:30Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I don’t see your poll yet, but I’ll never sleep with a married guy if I can avoid it. I’ve seen my best friend go through hell because she fell in love with one and I learned my lesson. And of course he went back to the first woman, as expected. I mean, were I single, of course. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/17 "2011-12-06T17:04:11Z")
I had a fling with a married woman once. We slept together once, I didn’t think it would bother me, her being married. But it did. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/18 "2011-12-06T17:12:11Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > If you’re a married person seeking extramarital affairs, you may wish to confine yourself to persons who have as much to lose if the affair is revealed as you do. One might argue that this was Herman Cain’s mistake (along with keeping a mistress for as long as he is as alleged to). That makes a lot of sense! I also thought of another possible response, which is that the other person being married might help ensure that the one-night stand will only last one night. A single person is more likely to think of it as the start of something beautiful. And for the record I am in the ‘not willing to have a one-night stand’ category. Even before I was in a committed and exclusive relationship, it didn’t really appeal to me. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/19 "2011-12-06T17:14:08Z")
My brother did that for a while - he had a marriage of convenience and so was unhappy enough to justify cheating. He posted on various dating forums, checking the box that said he was married, and generally slept only with married women who were likewise unhappy. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/20 "2011-12-06T17:17:39Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I’ll never sleep with a married guy if I can avoid it. How could you not avoid it? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184.md?page=2)