# Persons willing to have one-night stands: does the other person's marital status matter? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184 "2011-12-05T21:42:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/21 "2011-12-06T17:19:50Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > How could you not avoid it? Being lied to, I expect. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/22 "2011-12-06T17:22:13Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Being lied to, I expect. Ohhhh. As a chronic truth teller I often overlook lies. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/23 "2011-12-06T17:25:59Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Ohhhh. As a chronic truth teller I often overlook lies. :: adds **kayaker** to list of people to offer wonderful investment opportunites to :: ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/24 "2011-12-06T17:55:44Z")
You left out what I’d consider to be a really important option/distinction, as elaborated on in these additional options: {select gender}… and if the other person is married it has to be with the other person’s spouses’ consent {select gender} …and if the other person is married, the other person’s spouse has to have been informed that exclusivity is off the table (with or without their consent) {select gender} … and if the other person is married, the other person’s spouse has to be present and participating as well ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/25 "2011-12-06T17:55:54Z")
I voted as my past self, who was once very willing to have one-night stands. Her marital status would be completely and utterly irrelevant. If she’s willing to hook up, any marital issues of hers are not my concern. I don’t imagine I’d be comfortable with being the “other man” on an extended basis, but a one-nighter? If I’m looking to have more-or-less anonymous sex and never see her again, I’m probably not about to ask a lot of questions. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/26 "2011-12-06T17:56:55Z")
Marital status is key. I’m a fornicator, not an adulterer. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/27 "2011-12-06T22:10:54Z")
I avoid any one night stand that would put me in a position where I’m expected to lie. So in general I won’t sleep with closeted and/or married men. If the only reason I know Bob is because I hooked up with him, if someone asked me ‘how do you know Bob’. I expect to be able to answer ‘because we hooked up’ without jeopardizing anyone’s life or marital status. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/28 "2011-12-07T20:14:01Z")
If it’s a one night stand, there personal situation is irrelevant to me. If they’re cheating on someone it’s their problem, not mine. Not to mention the fact that if she’s out looking for casual sex, her husband’s doing something wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/29 "2011-12-07T20:50:06Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > If you’re a guy and all you want is sex, a married woman is a pretty good risk. Chances are she’s not going to go all weird on you and start demanding jewelry and commitment and falling in love n’ shit. > > 'Tis my theory, anyway. And 'tis a good one indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/30 "2011-12-07T22:37:30Z")
If I knew she was married, no thanks I’ll pass. Suprised to see the number of men here don’t give a shit if she’s married or not. For your own health you probably should. You never know what kind of psycho she’s married too. I had a one nighter with a women who hid the fact she was married and found out after, made me feel sick. Said see ya get out of here. Slightly off topic. I’m going out with a buddy of mine who has been in an open relationship with his women for over a decade she’s out of country for a couple of weeks, and he’s gotten permission to pick up. He’s really looking forward to it. Bizzare. But if it works who am I to judge. ---
**Author:** ![wheresmymind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@wheresmymind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheresmymind)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/31 "2011-12-08T04:51:04Z")
If I knew she was married from the start I wouldn’t pursue her, but if she started coming on strong I’d probably relent. Basically, I wouldn’t chase a married woman, but wouldn’t mind being chased by one. Your wife’s fidelity is her and (maybe) your responsibility, not mine… Of course, this is all supposing this is a relative stranger. If I knew her spouse I wouldn’t even consider it. Also, there’s some wisdom in what Ibanez said about jealous husbands. Indulging in married women probably ups your chances of being shot considerably! ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/32 "2011-12-08T22:36:05Z")
> [@wheresmymind](#): > > Also, there’s some wisdom in what Ibanez said about jealous husbands. Indulging in married women probably ups your chances of being shot considerably! I worked with a guy who’s best friend killed a man in self-defense because he was sleeping with a married woman. I remember years prior reading about it in the paper. The relationship wasn’t working out , he wouldn’t give her a divorce so they were separated and she was trying to move on with her life. One day he stalked them, broke through the kitchen balcony glass doors with a baseball bat he was twice the size of of my coworkers friend. He grabbed a kitchen knife for self defense when he charged him, he stabbed him around a dozen times. The only problem the judge had with the self defense case was the amount of times the husband was stabbed. He told the judge he was in fear of his life, cornered and didn’t stop stabbing him until he went down. Apparently that was good enough for the judge. ---
**Author:** ![Razrak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/razrak/32/5888_2.png) [@Razrak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razrak)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/33 "2011-12-10T02:46:40Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > I worked with a guy who’s best friend killed a man in self-defense because he was sleeping with a married woman. I remember years prior reading about it in the paper. > > The relationship wasn’t working out , he wouldn’t give her a divorce so they were separated and she was trying to move on with her life. One day he stalked them, broke through the kitchen balcony glass doors with a baseball bat he was twice the size of of my coworkers friend. He grabbed a kitchen knife for self defense when he charged him, he stabbed him around a dozen times. > > The only problem the judge had with the self defense case was the amount of times the husband was stabbed. He told the judge he was in fear of his life, cornered and didn’t stop stabbing him until he went down. > > Apparently that was good enough for the judge. Woudn’t that type of trial require a jury and not just a judge? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184/34 "2011-12-10T04:59:27Z")
Defendents have a right to a jury trial, but can waive that right if they wish. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/persons-willing-to-have-one-night-stands-does-the-other-persons-marital-status-matter/605184.md?page=1)