Huh. So far I’m the only person who says they have a stronger connection with a half-sibling than with my “full” siblings.
I am the oldest of four and my youngest sibling (12 years younger, brother) is actually the only one I am close to, and we are…somewhere between quite and very close.
My sister, a few years younger than me, got a case of extreme religiosity after she got married 14 years ago, and we basically have no relationship because her husband is an asshole, I am a heathen, and my sister obediently acquiesced to the man of the house because, well, he is the head of the household and says so. Frankly the only reason I’m sad about that is because I also have no relationship to her two children. I have an amiable, but not-close relationship with my other brother and his family.
The fact that most of my family lives on a different continent doesn’t make it easier to form stronger ties. Also we are not a very cohesive family generally, and this goes back several generations on all sides.
Also I wouldn’t think of referring to my half brother as my half brother. Except when explaining familial relationships, like here. He’s my brother.
I’m much closer to my full brother than to any of my half-siblings. I also feel closer to the half-siblings I’ve known since their births than to the one who I didn’t meet until we were adults. I really think it has to do with the contact we had growing up: my full brother and I are two years apart and grew up in the same household; our half-brother and -sister are much younger and they moved with their mother out of the country when they were four and seven years old; and I didn’t even know our middle half-sister existed until she contacted me when I was thirty years old.
They’re all welcome in my house anytime they can visit, and I’m delighted to hear from any of them, but my full brother is the only one I call just to chat with on a pretty regular basis. He’s also the only one who lives close enough to visit frequently, so that’s probably also a factor, but I feel a much deeper connection with him.
Well OK. I’m sorry I missed that. All the sibling angst was making my head hurt.
But as of right now, I’m still the only person who chose the “I do not have the same deep emotional connection to my whole sibling as to my half” poll option.
Didn’t vote because I don’t have any full siblings, but I was raised with my older half siblings and they feel like full siblings to me. My younger half-sister also feels like a full sister - the only reason we weren’t raised together is that she wasn’t born until I was a teenager and was born to the parent I didn’t live with.
I’m the youngest. I didn’t know that my two eldest brothers were half-brothers for many years. Then I found out, and it didn’t really make any difference. They still seemed the same as my other siblings.
BUT … they are MUCH older than me. That did make a difference. The eldest moved out the year I was born. The second eldest went away to school when I was 4 or 5. So they were not really in my life in the same way as the other siblings, who were closer to me in age.
On a similar note, my grandfather is actually my mom’s stepfather. But he’s almost the only grandparent I’ve ever known. (Both of my biological grandfathers died before I was born; one grandmother died when I was three; the other lived on the other side of the country, and I saw her twice during my life.) So he has always felt like my “grandfather” not a step- anything.
Not me, but my husband has a sister (six years younger, they grew up together) and an half brother from his dads next marriage. The halfbro is 19 years younger then my husband, and they only met a couple weekends a year.
My husband feels only the most passing interest in his halfbro. I have often commented on that, and I pushed them to bond more. When I met my husband, halfbro was still only 14, so it would not have been too late to do some bro stuff.
But no, neither seemed interested. I thought that was odd, (But he’s your brother!) but it seems common enough in this tread.
My older siblings took care of me after school/day care when they were still at their mom’s home. And I think part of the reason we’re close is that their mom was pretty adamant on “She’s your sister!!!” from the get-go.
I personally don’t have the connection to my half-sibs as my full sibs–but I doubt it would be any different if they were full. The halfs are a good bit older and left home early. My full sibs are much closer in age, and we all lived in the same house for much longer.
I have two half-brothers. One is the son of my mom and stepdad, who I grew up with. The other is the son of my dad and some other woman about 15 years after my mom and him divorced.
I feel pretty close to the brother I grew up with. We’re not best buddies, but we’re FB friends, he comes by on holidays and periodically, etc.
The other brother doesn’t really concern me. He made a huge effort to get in contact with me (after finding out he had another sister, woo!) and subsequently lost interest. Just as well; that side of the family is a freakshow, and not in a good way.
What is more of a bummer is this allowed me to get in touch with my dad, who I hadn’t spoken with or seen for 40 years. After initially keeping in touch with me, contact has lapsed. I made one final attempt, with both him and my second brother, before deciding I’ve done all I really can.
I consider myself an only child having grown up that way, but I do have a half-brother in Macon, Georgia. We talk on the phone and email. Occasionally we visit. I call him my brother, because half-brother sounds like I’m trying to be distant or something, and I’m not. He’s a nice guy with a nice family.
But I still self-identify as an only child. I don’t guess I fit the OP’s description because I don’t have any full siblings. So I can’t tell if I feel about my half-brother the way I would a full-blooded brother.
I have three half-siblings and two full brothers. Because my half-siblings are nearly a full generation older than my brothers and me, and because they were brought up half a country away, they’re more like distant cousins. Very nice people. I like all of them, and we get along just fine, but I suspect because of the way our father left their mother, they are not as emotionally invested as they might have been.
I don’t have any half-siblings but my ex-wife does plus one full sister. She viewed them all equally because she was raised that way but I never did even within her family and always made the distinction.
I am strict on definitions of family and, other than spouse, it is almost completely dependent on genetic links. I have had a number of step-siblings over the years and still have two step-brothers. My mother tried for a long time to force us to be one big family with everyone being equal until I had to tell her to stop it last year. My step-brother’s kids are not my daughters cousins for example no matter how much she wants that to be.
It is basically the same thing with people that were adopted into various parts of my biological extended family. There was always that push by the adoptive parents to make their choice equally true for everyone and I never felt it.
None of this has any bearing on how much I like the individual people in question. I like my stepbrothers as people more than I like my real brothers but they are not my brothers. To me, family relationships are about genealogy, family history, and things that you are obligated to do for someone even if you don’t like them as a person that much. Anything less than full-blood means those things are diminished. Those can be superceeded by elements of true friendship but that isn’t the same thing as full family to me at least.
My mom only has half-siblings, three older half-sisters and one older half-brother, and we have never been very close to them. They were my grandfather’s children from his first wife who died from cancer when she was only 31.
My grandfather didn’t marry my grandmother for almost 10 years after his first wife died (and he was 11 years older than her also). When my mom came along, the youngest of her half-siblings was 14 and the oldest was in her early 20s.
My grandfather died when my mom was 18 (a few years before I was born). All of my aunts and uncles have always treated my grandmother (their step-mother) with great respect and affection. But my mom just isn’t close to any of them, so I don’t know them very well.
My youngest brother and I don’t share the same mother, I feel closer to him than to our older brothers. This is probably because I was his legal guardian until he reached adulthood. I am also as close to the sister he has from the same mother as to all my other sisters. With the one older brother he has with which he shares the same parents, it’s more of mild relative thing, though that brother does seem to be very close with my other older brothers whom I share the same mother and father with.
I’m in the same situation-- I was widowed shortly after my first child (now 5) was born, and I met someone, remarried, and I’m due with my second kid next month.
My first child knows about his dad, but also considers my husband to be the only father he’s ever known, so I’m hoping they’ll be super close.
If my dad was a doper, he’d probably agree with you. He has four older half-siblings: his dad had joint custody of the two oldest b/g kids, and his mom had sole custody of the middle boys who are only 3 & 4 years older than Dad, then came Dad, and a couple years later his only full sibling, my aunt Dee. Of the five kids, he has always been closest to his mother’s other sons.
Knowing aunt Dee, I’m not surprised that they’ve never been very close. As for the two oldest, they’re a lot older, 8-12 years older, and spent at least half of their time with their mother.
I don’t have the same connections to my older half-brother and half-sister, but that is because I barely knew them growing up, as they never lived anywhere near. They’d visit on occasion, but even then, my half-bro was 8 years older than the oldest of us <which was me> and that was such a big difference then that he was an adult as far as I was concerned, just not on the same plane. As grownups, I’ve hung out with my half-brother and we get along FANTASTICALLY, but thousands of miles of distance + yeah, barely any connection, just doesn’t make a relationship. Without shared past memories, it’s just not the same.
