# Pet Haikus **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** poetry\ **Created:** [March 11, 2022, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916 "2022-03-11T18:58:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/21 "2022-03-12T18:01:05Z")
Ah, no worries, mate! I count syllables for fun (I don’t have a pet) ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/22 "2022-03-12T18:05:48Z")
I wasn’t bothering with syllable counts, so these are probably all off. Still, they felt like haiku at the time I wrote them. They were written over the course of a couple of days earlier this year. The cat at my feet Importunes me with a paw. Human! Feed me now! The cat in my lap Does not want me to move. His weight increases. The cat in my lap Is offended I have moved. My empty lap cries. The cat in the box Is trying to drive me out. His ass offends. The cats in the house Are nearby, fighting loudly. Dust bunnies multiply. The cat in my arms Purrs soothingly, Hoping I’ll nap. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/23 "2022-03-12T19:04:25Z")
One fish, two fishes Flashes of color in their Magnifying bowls ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/24 "2022-03-12T19:08:15Z")
I tell the cat “Scat!” “Meow diddly boo bop– Dee dah doy feed me” ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/25 "2022-03-12T19:10:51Z")
My cat is called Meave. That’s her in my avatar, sitting on the porch. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/26 "2022-03-12T19:32:50Z")
It’s quite hard to type With this purring ball of fur Leaning on my arm. But if I don’t pat A paw appears to take hold Of my arm – with claws. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/27 "2022-03-12T19:45:24Z")
Whine from the front door The whistle-note kind. It’s time To empty the dog. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2022, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/28 "2022-03-12T23:43:35Z")
Thanks for your reply! He sure was a lovebug, even by lovebug standards, too. She adopted him from a special-needs animal rescue; he lost his vision when he was hit by a car, and the couple who had him didn’t feel they could adequately care for him. For the rest of his life, she would send them updates through the rescue, and they were always happy to hear from them. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2022, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/29 "2022-03-13T02:54:53Z")
Carrots are divine; You get a dozen for a Dime – it’s magic, yeah! > **[IMG-1283 hosted at ImgBB](https://ibb.co/jLsyS65)** > > Image IMG-1283 in Wonder-mutt's images album ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2022, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/30 "2022-03-13T16:21:28Z")
Dog takes forever to find poop spot in winter the little asshole ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/31 "2022-03-14T02:40:40Z")
Two red cardinal cocks Meet awkwardly at yew hedge. “Sorry, Zillow said . . .” ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/32 "2022-03-14T02:58:11Z")
On my blind 17-year-old shelter cat and the co-worker who handed her to me yesterday: Of course I’ll hold her So that you can sweep and mop. …Oh, she’s peed on me. Why are you sorry? Wasn’t you who peed my pants And I love her still. On my own little girl cat: Look, I’ll cuddle you But can you get your whisker out of my nostril? ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/33 "2022-03-14T03:46:11Z")
Why do all these cats Come mew at my door? – Because I let them inside? Three cats in the hall: That cat in the spare bedroom Sleeps where you did, once. ---
**Author:** ![AzFavorite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@AzFavorite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AzFavorite)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/34 "2022-03-14T04:07:49Z")
He is an old man now been together many years better friend than people ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2022, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/35 "2022-03-14T14:11:16Z")
**A True Story** Four in the morning Puddles of shit everywhere You could have told me ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/36 "2022-04-11T17:55:00Z")
Listening to jazz While the woodpecker outside Improvs with the best ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/37 "2022-04-11T18:01:13Z")
It is thundering. I promise you will not die. Let’s go back to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/38 "2022-04-11T20:13:43Z")
Lizzie’s on the prowl: The world is full of ‘possums, All in our backyard. 🐺 ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/39 "2022-04-12T02:22:55Z")
You mewed at the door. I let you in and fed you. Now please come back home! he did ---
**Author:** ![AzFavorite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@AzFavorite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AzFavorite)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2022, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916/40 "2022-04-23T10:40:19Z")
Big Dog & Little Dog Napping in Spring Sunshine My old bones will do the same. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pet-haikus/960916.md?page=3)