# Pets "Left Behind" can be cared for, thanks to atheists! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 7, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354 "2010-10-07T13:50:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/1 "2010-10-07T13:50:49Z")
I kid you not: > **[Blog - eternal-earthbound-pets.com - Artikel Update Terkini, Pusat Informasi...](https://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/blog/)** > [@](#): > > You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind. > > We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each > Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus. Heh. Heh heh heh. Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/2 "2010-10-07T14:57:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with > Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation. > … > [ul]If subscriber loses his/her faith and/or the Rapture occurs and subscriber is not Raptured (aka is “left behind”) EE-BP disclaims any liability; no refund will be tendered. > [/ul] > [ul] > [li]Should a relative residing within the rescue location not be Raptured and opts to retain the pet(s), EE-BP will not take posession of the pet(s). No refund will be tendered.[/li][/ul] Awesome. I wish I’d thought of this. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/3 "2010-10-07T15:27:24Z")
I knew I’d read this one on the board[before](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11489571); it’s still funny. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/4 "2010-10-07T15:29:53Z")
But…all dogs go to heaven! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/5 "2010-10-07T15:50:52Z")
I assume that there are also no refunds if it turns out that Heaven goes by merit after all: [QUOTE=Mark Twain] Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/6 "2010-10-07T16:20:22Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > I assume that there are also no refunds if it turns out that Heaven goes by merit after all: > > [QUOTE=Mark Twain] > Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. [/QUOTE] I’ve known plenty of dogs who probably got to bark at Cerberus on their way into Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/7 "2010-10-07T16:24:28Z")
If there are no cats in heaven, I’m not going. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I’m not going anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/8 "2010-10-07T16:37:05Z")
There’s no way ANY of my pets would get in. Not even my dog. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/9 "2010-10-07T17:13:24Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > But…all dogs go to heaven! 😛 Not after the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/10 "2010-10-07T18:07:18Z")
Dogs will never get in - they don’t have the proper faith. When they worshipfully pray to their deity for food or a walk, they actually get it - unlike humans who pray for stuff. As for the OP, if they actually get any money out of this I’ll consider our country doomed. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/11 "2010-10-07T19:06:39Z")
Little late on this one, I think. This idea is, like, 10 years old now. ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/12 "2010-10-07T22:16:55Z")
I wonder if there are other services I could offer to Raptured. I’ll water your plants. I’ll remove all the gay porn from your computer. I’ll make sure your house isn’t sold to a Mexican family. I’ll deliver that pre-written letter to your heathen cousin Phil which says, in effect, “Toldja!” I’ll sign on and change your Facebook status. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/13 "2010-10-07T22:26:22Z")
Of course since atheists have no moral center, they’ll probably just slaughter your pets for fun and dance around draped in their entrails. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/14 "2010-10-08T00:37:53Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > Of course since atheists have no moral center, they’ll probably just slaughter your pets for fun and dance around draped in their entrails. _Shut **up!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/15 "2010-10-08T04:22:40Z")
How much time is there supposed to be between the Rapture and the End of Days? 'Cause that’s gonna affect my price. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/16 "2010-10-08T05:08:08Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > Of course since atheists have no moral center, they’ll probably just slaughter your pets for fun and dance around draped in their entrails. Never! Things might be disrupted, and dogs can make good eating. You’d cook the damn entrails. ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/17 "2010-10-08T05:10:13Z")
[Homer Simpson] Mmmm…dog entrails. [/Homer Simpson] ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2010, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pets-left-behind-can-be-cared-for-thanks-to-atheists/556354/18 "2010-10-09T07:35:28Z")
Previous threads on topic: [“now why didn’t I think of that” department - emergency rescue for your pet!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11489571) [Atheists offer to care for Christians’ pets after the Rapture](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=530354) [My new heroes - the people who came up with “Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=537423) [So, is your pet Rapture-ready?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=546504)