# Phallic Symbols and Envy **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 20, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456 "2001-11-20T19:52:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jesse\_morrison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@jesse\_morrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesse_morrison)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/1 "2001-11-20T19:52:30Z")
Premises: 1. Tall buildings, missiles, fast cars, suv’s, and neck ties are phallic symbols. 2. Males that are not part of a group that possess phallic symbols will experience the emotion of envy. 3. The above envious males will destroy, or attempt to destroy, phallic symbols. 4. The above envious males will guard their females from viewing phallic symbols in order to prevent themselves from experiencing the emotions of shame and jealousy. Conclusions: 1. Capitalism creates phallic symbols. 2. Capitalism creates wars. Solutions: 1. Pee Circle—An anthropologist (studying envy) observed a tribe that had a solution for envy. Whenever the male tribe members would go on a hunt, the male that killed the largest game (phallic symbol) that day would attract (more than their equal share) admiring attention from the females. To counter this attention, the males would form a pee circle around the alpha male of the day, and urinate on him, while the females observed. Would it be a good idea if George agreed to be in the middle of the pee circle, surrounded by Ben and his company of envious males. 2. ? Debate: ? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/2 "2001-11-20T20:05:14Z")
I question the validity of all your premises. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to destroy the Washington Monument and cut up people’s neckties so that my women don’t see them. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/3 "2001-11-20T20:13:38Z")
Yonic objects do not fly very well. But then again, that could just be envious male Gods trying to keep the women down. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/4 "2001-11-20T20:19:53Z")
Also, on a more serious note, how exactly are sport utility vehicles phallic symbols? You are aware that phallic symbols require that they be _shaped_ similar to a penis, right? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/5 "2001-11-20T20:20:27Z")
Its not “penis envy” its “penis shame”. Which is why we’re always looking for some place to hide it. Preferably dark. Warm. Cozy. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/6 "2001-11-20T20:36:39Z")
Based on my husband’s behaviour, the latest version of Windows is also a phallic symbol. And the idea of watching George W. Bush getting peed on is oddly arousing to me. ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/7 "2001-11-20T20:44:03Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by erislover_ > **Also, on a more serious note, how exactly are sport utility vehicles phallic symbols? You are aware that phallic symbols require that they be shaped similar to a penis, right?** No, no, anything that has a length greater than it’s width is a phallic symbol. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/8 "2001-11-20T21:10:01Z")
Oooohhhhhh… ::smacks forehead:: ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/9 "2001-11-20T21:27:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by erislover \* > \*\*Also, on a more serious note, how exactly are sport utility vehicles phallic symbols? You are aware that phallic symbols require that they be _shaped_ similar to a penis, right? \*\* Does anyone remember that SUV commercial from lasy year-ish? The most ejaculatory commercial of all time? It was thie SUV driving through this geyser-filled area, and the geysers kept shooting upward every time the car drove by. And the tag line was something so insipid, like, “The SUV so fantastic that nature sings its praises!” ---
**Author:** ![DMAAN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/278dde/32.png) [@DMAAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMAAN)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/10 "2001-11-21T00:15:20Z")
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. d ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/11 "2001-11-21T00:30:56Z")
I was reading about Freud once, and I seem to recall him saying that a man’s dress-necktie, plus collared shirt and jacket was supposed to represent the female genitalia. Who knows? I could look it up, although I can’t remember WHERE I read it. ---
**Author:** ![Mandelstam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Mandelstam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mandelstam)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/12 "2001-11-21T01:33:01Z")
I’ve been away for a few weeks. Has **jesse morrison** yet to make a post without some reference to a weenie in it? If not, can someone buy him a tie? ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/13 "2001-11-21T02:28:54Z")
Now, now, **Mandelstam** , it doesn’t suit you to go following references of penises around. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AtomicBanana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@AtomicBanana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicBanana)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/14 "2001-11-21T05:50:33Z")
So does this mean that every time I smoke, I’m symbolicly performing oral sex? Oh crap, I went to Taco Bell today and ordered a burrito! I used to own a dauchshund! A friggin’ weenie dog! Wait a sec, even my name…look at it, it has the word ‘banana’ in it! I’m schlong obsessed! I can’t believe it! I never knew. Oh well, nothing I can do about it. Guess I’ll go to the bathroom now and spank it. ---
**Author:** ![Mandelstam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Mandelstam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mandelstam)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/15 "2001-11-21T06:13:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by erislover \* > \*\*Now, now, **Mandelstam** , it doesn’t suit you to go following references of penises around. 😉 \*\* :o Well, it actually suits me very well indeed… ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/16 "2001-11-21T08:07:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl \* > \*\*Does anyone remember that SUV commercial from lasy year-ish? The most ejaculatory commercial of all time? It was thie SUV driving through this geyser-filled area, and the geysers kept shooting upward every time the car drove by. And the tag line was something so insipid, like, “The SUV so fantastic that nature sings its praises!” \*\* But then wouldn’t the car be the thing that was _causing_ the ejaculation, rather than the phallic symbol itself? Or is this gay imagery? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/17 "2001-11-21T10:12:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by erislover \* > \*\*Yonic objects do not fly very well. But then again, that could just be envious male Gods trying to keep the women down. \*\* 😃 But wait a minute. Those vaguely breast-shaped flying saucer things the aliens go around in fly very well. Maybe the aliens are represntatives of the Mother Goddess trying to get a little of Her own back. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/18 "2001-11-21T13:45:10Z")
**beternoir** , 😃 This is true, _only if_ the flying saucers don’t splash any water. That sends mixed signals, as we can see above. **Mandelstam** , 😉 ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/19 "2001-11-21T17:56:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by erislover \* > Yonic objects do not fly very well. But then again, that could just be envious male Gods trying to keep the women down. So pantyliners with wings are the salvation of the Sisterhood, right? 😃 ::singing:: _Up, up and awaaaayyy…_ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456/20 "2001-11-21T23:45:34Z")
Gee, it really makes you think about tampons… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phallic-symbols-and-envy/94456.md?page=2)