# \*Phew\* Fake Penis possession still legal... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695 "2005-02-12T02:48:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/1 "2005-02-12T02:48:21Z")
[But trying to pee out of one for a drug test…not so much.](http://olympics.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=entertainmentNews&storyID=7608764) S’pose the nice people over at The Whizzinator are thanking Tom for all the press? And I’d like to thank the nice folks at Reuters for not accompanying this article with visual aids… ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/2 "2005-02-12T06:44:29Z")
> [@](#): > > During Thursday’s proceedings, prosecutors told Judge Baretto that Sizemore failed three drug tests in three days, the first after he was caught using a fake penis sewn into his boxer shorts and filled with a clean urine sample kept warm by a heating pack. > > Carney said the ruse was revealed when the temperature of the sample proved too cool to have come from Sizemore’s body, and he was asked to remove his pants. You’d think they’d have the technology to overcome the “cold pee” drawback, wouldn’t you? Mind, having a heating element that near the family jewels might be askin’ a bit much … “Whizzinator”. Heh. The name makes me giggle. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/3 "2005-02-12T08:20:08Z")
According to that article, Sizemore is “an expectant father.” I bet from time to time he wonders, “Is this really my baby, or could it be the Whizzinator’s?” ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/4 "2005-02-12T08:27:53Z")
🆒😃 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/5 "2005-02-12T08:42:38Z")
Do they come in differnt sizes? Sorry, just the first question that popped into my addled old brain > [@Sizemore's Judge](#): > > “I had hoped and wanted to see a positive performance.” … BWAHAHAHAHAHA ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/6 "2005-02-12T14:37:33Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Do they come in differnt sizes? > Sorry, just the first question that popped into my addled old brain Since I’m a girl, that hadn’t occurred to me, but now that you mention it…I wonder! I had to take a drug test once for a job, and there was someone in the room to make sure I didn’t cheat, but they sure didn’t _watch_. Guys, can you even pee at all with someone watching?? ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/7 "2005-02-12T18:47:30Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > Guys, can you even pee at all with someone watching?? I think he was caught because of a temperature irregularity, which led to a “drop your pants, sir.”😃 Take home message: Leave the fake penis at home. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/8 "2005-02-12T20:28:49Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > [But trying to pee out of one for a drug test…not so much.](http://olympics.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=entertainmentNews&storyID=7608764) > > S’pose the nice people over at The Whizzinator are thanking Tom for all the press? > And I’d like to thank the nice folks at Reuters for not accompanying this article with visual aids… That’ll teach him to cram for the whiz quiz. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/9 "2005-02-12T20:42:31Z")
I am still giggling over the fact that a news article about a fake penis involves a man named “Sizemore.” ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/10 "2005-02-12T21:34:27Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > Guys, can you even pee at all with someone watching?? Easily. At least, I can. Many guys seem to have a problem with urinating around other people (leading to the “leave one urinal between two guys” rule). I find this incredibly stupid. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/11 "2005-02-12T22:41:05Z")
Fake penis? No thanks. I’m kinda used to this here real one. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/12 "2005-02-14T02:03:07Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > I am still giggling over the fact that a news article about a fake penis involves a man named “Sizemore.” Oh, tell me - I bet they fought over who got to write it in the newsroom, and I’m sure the cartoonist was a close second. I was waiting for a quote from the judge that Tom’s excuses were ‘a little hard to swallow.’ And I thought the ‘empty urinal between 2 guys’ rule was so that ya’ll wouldn’t be tempted to compare your goods? I can assure you that were mores reversed, this is one woman who would NOT be checking out the size of someone else’s whatnot. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/13 "2005-02-14T02:45:55Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > Guys, can you even pee at all with someone watching?? My job depends on being able to pee while being watched. That means drinking water until I’m about ready to burst, squirting out a sample while making small talk (it helps for me), and then spending the next two hours peeing every 15 minutes. One more reason I never want to be an NCO: Those guys occaisonally have to _watch_ someone else pee. Two more years of this crap… ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phew-fake-penis-possession-still-legal/289695/14 "2005-02-14T02:50:16Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > My job depends on being able to pee while being watched. That means drinking water until I’m about ready to burst, squirting out a sample while making small talk (it helps for me), and then spending the next two hours peeing every 15 minutes. > > One more reason I never want to be an NCO: Those guys occaisonally have to _watch_ someone else pee. Two more years of this crap… You have a very interesting job. 😕