# Philosophical questions too moronic for GD **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 16, 2014, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940 "2014-01-16T03:54:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/1 "2014-01-16T03:54:00Z")
As always, feel free to both answer, and submit your own questions. Mine: Does God grade on the curve? For example, if I’m a total scumbag, am I making it easier for you, the morally middling, to get in? Can we, collectively, drag down the entrance requirements, so to speak? Should we, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/2 "2014-01-16T04:24:10Z")
My question is to believers of the Christian stripe: Say you die and wake up in the afterlife. Jesus greets you right away, alleviating any doubts about where you are. And yet something is troubling you. “Hey, Jesus. What’s that screaming? It sounds like it’s coming from downstairs.” “Oh, that? That’s the billions of heathens burning in hell. Isn’t it a lovely sound?” “Um…It’s just…all that wailing is kind of sad, don’t you think?” “Yes, I suppose it could be seen that way. But what do you want me to do about it?” “There must something you can do to ease their suffering. I know they are heathens, but surely they deserve mercy and grace. At least the ones who didn’t hurt anyone. And I think I can hear my brother down there. Yes! I can hearing him calling my name. I know he didn’t go to church, but he’s a good man. Most of them are. I don’t think I can enjoy my stay here knowing they’re in so much pain.” “Those poor souls will be forever grateful to you. Yo, Peter! Open the gates to hell! And while you’re out it, set an extra billion trillion places at the dinner table. We’re gonna have a party tonight! And our new angel here is going to be the guest of honor!” If this was the final test of Christian loving-kindness, how many Christians would pass it? If failure of this test resulted in you going to hell, would you feel ripped off? Or would you understand? ---
**Author:** ![svd678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@svd678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/svd678)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/3 "2014-01-16T04:50:04Z")
May I point out that neither of the previous posts have anything to do with the way most Christians think? ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/4 "2014-01-16T09:11:04Z")
They also seem to be about Theology, not Philosophy. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/5 "2014-01-16T12:57:35Z")
> [@Sal\_Ammoniac](#): > > Does God grade on the curve? For example, if I’m a total scumbag, am I making it easier for you, the morally middling, to get in? Can we, collectively, drag down the entrance requirements, so to speak? Should we, perhaps? That’d be like, if you were invited to a wedding reception, and you RSVP’ed that you weren’t coming and went around to the other people who were invited trying to get them to do the same, in hopes that the bride and groom would reduce the entry fee in order to get more people to attend. Jesus is like: “Dude, there **is no** entry fee. I’ve already paid for everything!” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/6 "2014-01-16T14:45:00Z")
Have you ever looked at your hand? I mean, _really_ looked at it? ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/7 "2014-01-16T15:46:34Z")
> [@svd678](#): > > May I point out that neither of the previous posts have anything to do with the way most Christians think? IIRC, there was some old-time (say, 1700s?) hellfire and brimstone type who wrote about the great joy he would take in heaven, listening to the screams of the damned in hell. Nice chap. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/8 "2014-01-16T15:50:35Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > IIRC, there was some old-time (say, 1700s?) hellfire and brimstone type who wrote about the great joy he would take in heaven, listening to the screams of the damned in hell. Nice chap. :eek: I’ve heard this view directly from a few of the Westboro folk, including a hope that God will let them personally torment the damned. And as I always say about the WBC folks: if you worship a divine figure of hate, spread misery and discord wherever you go and enjoy the thought of an eternity tormenting sinners, maybe the Biblical entity you’re following isn’t Jesus… ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/9 "2014-01-16T16:02:28Z")
Still, the WBC and some old-timey chap do not represent the way _most Christians_ think. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/10 "2014-01-16T16:10:09Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > IIRC, there was some old-time (say, 1700s?) hellfire and brimstone type who wrote about the great joy he would take in heaven, listening to the screams of the damned in hell. Nice chap. :eek: Probably Jonathan Edwards. He was the “Sinners in the hands of an Angry God” dude, but you can find the idea of the saints in heaven seeing and enjoying the torments of the damned in Aquinas, Augustine, Tertullian and others. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/11 "2014-01-16T16:25:44Z")
If all are ignorant, who will fight it? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/12 "2014-01-16T16:27:24Z")
C.S. Lewis said “the doors to hell are locked on the inside”. That makes sense to me. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/13 "2014-01-16T16:30:55Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Still, the WBC and some old-timey chap do not represent the way _most Christians_ think. Given the title of the thread I wouldn’t worry too much about it. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/14 "2014-01-16T16:42:32Z")
> [@Sal\_Ammoniac](#): > > As always, feel free to both answer, and submit your own questions. > > Mine: > > Does God grade on the curve? For example, if I’m a total scumbag, am I making it easier for you, the morally middling, to get in? Can we, collectively, drag down the entrance requirements, so to speak? Should we, perhaps? My standard response to any Christian that asks me “What if I’m wrong?” (about being an Atheist) is: If God is grading on a curve, I’m not sweating it. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/15 "2014-01-16T20:19:31Z")
If earth is but a tiny grain of sand in the universe, isn’t it possible that a tiny grain of sand on earth could be a planet? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/16 "2014-01-16T20:29:51Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > If earth is but a tiny grain of sand in the universe, isn’t it possible that a tiny grain of sand on earth could be a planet? Didn’t [Dr. Seuss](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horton_Hears_a_Who!) already cover that one? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/17 "2014-01-16T20:39:39Z")
1. Which is worse-eating a carnivore, or eating a vegetarian? 2. When angels dance on the head of a pin, what music are they dancing to? 3. If Ragnarök and Judgment Day happen at the same time, which one should you watch live versus Tivoing? 4. If God were dyslexic what breed would He be? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2014, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/18 "2014-01-17T16:02:32Z")
Would it be o.k. to sleep around if that was the only way to apply a cure for AIDS? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2014, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/19 "2014-01-17T16:36:30Z")
What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940/20 "2014-01-17T17:04:26Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Would it be o.k. to sleep around if that was the only way to apply a cure for AIDS? Don’t try using this excuse with your SO. Trust me it doesn’t work ☹ As for my question: For those who have a traditional view of heaven where everyone’s loved ones are waiting for them, what if your loved ones don’t want to see you. For example suppose there was this guy who was a good christian who fell in love with this girl in his bible study class such that heaven wouldn’t be complete without her in it. She, on the other hand, she thought he was a nice guy but just wasn’t into him and also found him kind of annoying to have around. So a heaven spent with him would be not so great. They die in a car crash on their way to church, do they see each other in heaven? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosophical-questions-too-moronic-for-gd/678940.md?page=2)