# Philosphical Question (you were warned) \[Is a parent still a parent if their only child dies?\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 4, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526 "2011-03-04T22:16:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/21 "2011-03-06T05:46:35Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > How about if their only child is given up for adoption? I say yes. You may not be parenting a child, but you are still that child’s parent. Perhaps if English had a more detailed vocabulary I’d feel differently, but I had 7 grandparents, only some of whom were related by blood. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/22 "2011-03-06T09:57:38Z")
I’d personally say no, any more than a divorced man is still a husband. They _were_ a parent, but parent is a signifier of an entity relationship (you can’t be a parent without someone else being a child), and the entity they had the relationship with is no longer existent. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/23 "2011-03-06T11:00:48Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > (you can’t be a parent without someone else being a child) So when my youngest reaches adulthood, I will no longer be a parent? ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/24 "2011-03-06T11:20:53Z")
[Previous related thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=588756), by the way. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/25 "2011-03-06T12:31:50Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > I’d personally say no, any more than a divorced man is still a husband. They _were_ a parent, but parent is a signifier of an entity relationship (you can’t be a parent without someone else being a child), and the entity they had the relationship with is no longer existent. A divorced man has chosen not to be a husband, we did not chose not to be parents. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/26 "2011-03-06T15:06:39Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > I’d personally say no, any more than a divorced man is still a husband. They _were_ a parent, but parent is a signifier of an entity relationship (you can’t be a parent without someone else being a child) And yet I’ve never once heard anyone refer to an adult they raised as their ex-kid. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/27 "2011-03-06T16:42:26Z")
> [@spark240](#): > > So when my youngest reaches adulthood, I will no longer be a parent? They will still be your child. This is child in the relationship sense, not the age-differentiation sense. So always “a child of” not just “a child”. There is “child” related to “parent” and there is “child” related to “adult”. They are not the same word, really. > [@Tinkertoy](#): > > A divorced man has chosen not to be a husband, we did not chose not to be parents. Not every divorced man made that choice, nor did every ex-parent _not_ choose. It’s irrelevant to the distinction I would wish the language to convey. > [@DianaG](#): > > And yet I’ve never once heard anyone refer to an adult they raised as their ex-kid. :dubious: See above about two different senses of “child”. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/28 "2011-03-06T18:16:13Z")
> [@](#): > > They will still be your child. You’ll just no longer be their parent? Just out of curiosity, do you have children? ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/29 "2011-03-06T18:32:17Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > So always “a child of” not just “a child”. Right. Let’s follow this through, then. After my death, if I go first, my child is _still_ a child of mine. So it stands to reason that it if goes the other way, I am still a parent of hers. For that matter, the relationship remains equally factual after we’re both gone. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/30 "2011-03-06T19:57:07Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > You’ll just no longer be their parent? No, you’ll still be their parent. > [@](#): > > Just out of curiosity, do you have children? That’s irrelevant. > [@spark240](#): > > Right. Let’s follow this through, then. After my death, if I go first, my child is _still_ a child of mine. I disagree. I think the word “is” is wrong here, as it implies existence > [@](#): > > For that matter, the relationship remains equally factual after we’re both gone. Aaah, but think about this - o we say, for instance, “Henry VIII _is_ the father of Elizabeth I”? No, we say “Henry \*was \*the father of Elizabeth”. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/31 "2011-03-06T21:45:21Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Aaah, but think about this - o we say, for instance, “Henry VIII _is_ the father of Elizabeth I”? No, we say “Henry \*was \*the father of Elizabeth”. I’ve heard the former construction countless times, actually. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/32 "2011-03-06T22:20:19Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > That’s irrelevant. So no then? I suppose we can quibble vagaries of word use, but the OP is specifically labeled a philosophical question. As a state of being, once you’re a parent, you remain a parent. The death of your child doesn’t make you not a parent any more than a vow of celibacy restores virginity. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526/33 "2011-03-08T20:41:03Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > So no then? Like I said, it’s irrelevant. But yes, I am. Virginity isn’t an entity relationship like parenthood, it’s a property of a single entity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/philosphical-question-you-were-warned-is-a-parent-still-a-parent-if-their-only-child-dies/573526.md?page=1)