# phone etiquette (possibly lame) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 2, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225 "2003-10-02T23:36:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/21 "2003-10-03T16:35:22Z")
Yeah…and how about this… When you call me to ask for any of the other twenty employees who work here who are out at the moment, when I ask if you would like their voice mail, do not try to give me the message. We installed voice mail a few months ago, just because I don’t have the time to be the everpresent message fairy…I have other things to do than to wait by their office door to make sure they get the message. DO NOT get all “harrumphed” at me when I gently explain that it would be more efficient if I could route your call to the person in question’s voice mail. We have it for a reason. Feh. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/22 "2003-10-03T16:41:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*I hate call waiting. There is nothing in my life that requires me to know that someone is calling me. I’m most certainly not going to put someone on hold in order to talk to someone else - not in my home anyway. Work is a different animal. > > Unfortunately, it’s part of the “package” for our phone service. So I just listen past the call-waiting beep while I’m talking. I’m good at ignoring stuff if I have to. \*\* I used to think that, but I have it on my mobile now, and it is quite good. If it happened a lot it might be annoying, but it’s always just a case of “blah blah blah/beep/Hold on mum, ShadeSO’s calling/Hi Love, how are you?/I’m just talking to mum, can I ring you at 8.00?/Thanks/Hello again mum. Sorry about that.” ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/23 "2003-10-03T16:48:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DanielWithrow \* > \*\*As near as I know, people I work with don’t call, leave a number, but no message. However, they may call, discover someone’s not home, and not leave a message, either because it’s a personal matter (perhaps someone has bounced a check, or maybe they’re being investigated for animal cruelty), or because the person is unlikely to return a message (see above). What if a person with one phoneline phones someone who’s often out to say ‘you bounced a cheque’? What if a girl calls me and doesn’t want to sound desperate by leaving a vague message or ringing back a lot? There are reasons why I would ring back. It’s fairly rare, but so are unkown numbers (to me, anyway). Does your inconvenience outweigh their inconvenience? Apparently so. You’ll e pleased to hear I certainly rarely ring back any more, as more and more people get the hang of voicemail. > [@](#): > > In any case, whatever their reasons for not leaving messages, it’s useless for someone to call back and ask who called them. I don’t know, and damned if I’m going to go track down everyone in my office to ask if they called this number. I’ve tried it a few times, and it never works: nobody remembers calling them. I hope it goes without saying, but of course anyone who asks you to do this is unreasonable. If it wasn’t rude I’d hang up as soon as someone says ‘Such-a-buisness’ and hence obviously is unable to help me. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/24 "2003-10-03T16:59:32Z")
If you’ll be _here_ in 5 minutes, don’t waste my cell minutes with whatever you can tell me in 5 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/25 "2003-10-03T17:55:04Z")
Don’t ask me for a phone number and then say “Wait till I get a pen and paper.” And listen when I give you the number. I shouldn’t have to repeat it four times. Don’t do the laundry list of people. “Is so-and-so there? No? Well, is so-and-so there? No? Well, is…” WHO THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO? Don’t ask me when someone will be in. If I were that freaking psychic, I’d be playing the lottery. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/26 "2003-10-03T18:06:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shade \* > \*\*I hope it goes without saying, but of course anyone who asks you to do this is unreasonable. If it wasn’t rude I’d hang up as soon as someone says ‘Such-a-buisness’ and hence obviously is unable to help me. \*\* That’s the thing – folks who call me to say someone dialed them from our number invariably expect me to tell them who called them. If they said, “Oops, nevermind, sorry!” and hung up, I’d be amused and befuddled, but not annoyed. They could say, “Sorry, wrong number!” or anything else, and that’s fine. But when they want me to tell them who called them, that’s just pushing it. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/27 "2003-10-03T18:07:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by swampbear \* > No we do not have voice mail! (My office is so Twentieth Century sometimes.) You do not need to have a stroke about that fact. Saying really loudly: > > \*\* WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE VOICE MAIL?!?!? \*\* > > will not cause voice mail to magically appear. > > And while we’re at it, No, I cannot tell you at what precise, exact time so and so will return your call. I am not in charge of telling people when to return calls. Get over it. I also have no idea why your call hasn’t been returned. I will, however, gladly give the person another message and state, please call asap on the message. I will not go stand over said person and make him/her call you. (Though that does sound like a fun job. I could be the office phone nazi! Sigh, another dream career I’ll never have. :D) Wow, we must have the exact same job. My boss doesn’t have voice mail ON PURPOSE, because he doesn’t want to listen to you prattling on for 10 minutes about nothing. If you have something of dire urgency that he must know, tell me and I will write it down. Another thing - if my boss doesn’t call you back quickly enough to satisfy you, FIRE HIM and hire someone else. If he’s not calling you back, it’s because he wants to blow you off. Did you really think that my boss wanted to talk to you and _I_ was deliberately preventing him from doing so? ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/28 "2003-10-03T18:14:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DanielWithrow \* > **That’s the thing – folks who call me to say someone dialed them from our number invariably expect me to tell them who called them. If they said, “Oops, nevermind, sorry!” and hung up, I’d be amused and befuddled, but not annoyed. They could say, “Sorry, wrong number!” or anything else, and that’s fine. But when they want me to tell them who called them, that’s just pushing it.** Then maybe we don’t disagree after all… I thought you were saying ringing someone back was always wrong. If it’s people who expect you to automatically know who called them, then that’s a different matter - some are just too clueless to realise many phones can be behind one phone no. (fair do’s, we all make stupid mistakes) and some just are morons who deserved to be flamed. ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/29 "2003-10-03T18:24:57Z")
Along similar lines as #5, don’t call to place an order until you are prepared to actually place an order. Granted a little indecision is understandable, but nothing burned me more than having a conversation along these lines during the dinner rush : “Hello, Generic Pizza. How may I help you?” (caller turns his head away from the phone and shouts into the next room) “Hey, Honey, I have the pizza place on the phone! What do you think we should get?” God forbid they have that conversation prior to calling. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Venom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Lady\_Venom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Venom)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/30 "2003-10-03T18:58:29Z")
Oh how I love these threads!!! As I posted [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=190324) I am a receptionist and I get some of the most rediculous requests. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/31 "2003-10-03T18:58:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > Don’t ask me when someone will be in. If I were that freaking psychic, I’d be playing the lottery. I used to screw with people who insisted on knowing when a particular person would be back. I’d just make up a time: “What time will he be back?” “He should be back this afternoon” “What TIME this afternoon?” “2:27” “2:27? That’s an awfully specific time.” “Yes, well that’s when he’s scheduled to be back.” I always thought it was a hoot how people got mad when I couldn’t tell them the exact time the person would be back, but also got mad if I gave them TOO exact a time.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/32 "2003-10-03T19:23:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Geobabe \* > \*\ ***Do not eat while on the phone.** Chomping and smacking in someone’s ear is just the height of disgusting rudeness. \*\* Thank you!..This is my absolute number 1 phone related pet peeve. Coming in at a close second are the people who call with passel of screaming brats in the background. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/33 "2003-10-04T03:06:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blowero \* > \*\*Oh, and this isn’t the 1940’s - unless we both live on the same block, you pretty much need to leave your area code. \*\* Ummm yeah that was me. I confess. For some dumbass reason I do NOT remember the concept of area codes… next message is probly me saying “Oh, by the way, my area code is 801 so thats 801 589 sith…” > [@](#): > > Along similar lines as #5, don’t call to place an order until you are prepared to actually place an order. Granted a little indecision is understandable, but nothing burned me more than having a conversation along these lines during the dinner rush : God ALMIGHTY! YES! I mean hell you were on hold for 5 minutes why didnt you discuss it then? Why tie up our dinner rush? I understand asking about specials but have a general idea of what you want if the special is good. And the on hold message gave you the specials… believe me I have listened to that tape. > [@](#): > > Put down the screaming brat before attempting to talk to me. And when calling me at home and I say “No thank you” say “goodbye” because my next movie is either to hang up on you or whistle loudly in your ear… depends on my mood… Yeah, that is magnified 100 % in our phones. Hell call me back\> I am a mother, I promise I will understand. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225/34 "2003-10-04T03:10:25Z")
Well that is wierd… my last paragraph is upside down… It should read > [@](#): > > Put down the screaming brat before attempting to talk to me. > [@](#): > > Yeah, that is magnified 100 % in our phones. Hell call me back\> I am a mother, I promise I will understand. And then : > [@](#): > > And when calling me at home and I say “No thank you” say “goodbye” because my next movie is either to hang up on you or whistle loudly in your ear… depends on my mood… My apologies… must be the meds:D [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phone-etiquette-possibly-lame/205225.md?page=1)