# Phonecalls a la Simpsons
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 6, 2000, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330 "2000-12-06T17:37:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/1 "2000-12-06T17:37:15Z")
Prank phonecalls… the science most children (and teenagers? and adults???) practice when bored, mashed, drunk or all of it…
So… as you all know I plan to move to England next June (if everything goes well) and I definitely need to know English phone names…
Not that I d ever use them _shakes head frantically_
I just find them damn funny.
So far I have:
Has anybody seen Mark Hunt?
I need Amanda Rabe!
More more more pleeeease!!!
dodgy 😃
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### Author:  [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/2 "2000-12-06T19:12:45Z")
When I was younger my friends and I used to call a chinese restaraunt and while the phone was ringing we would call ANOTHER chinese restaraunt on the other line and then conference them together. We sat laughing histerically (usually high) as we heard something like this;
line 1: hero (restaraunt name here)
line 2: hero can I take you owder?
line 1: you call me! what you want?
line 2: no you call me! you think you funny?
and on and on…
I still chuckle thinking about it
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### Author:  [@Ivar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivar)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/3 "2000-12-06T19:14:17Z")
I thought Mr. Hunt’s given name was Michael…
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### Author:  [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/4 "2000-12-06T19:17:01Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by BornDodgy \*
> **Has anybody seen Mark Hunt?**
This might be funnier as Mike Hunt or York Hunt. Speaking of which, I just learned (because he was interviewed on the radio) that there is a Harry Boner in my town.
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### Author:  [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/5 "2000-12-06T19:26:01Z")
Ben Dover.
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### Author:  [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/6 "2000-12-06T19:28:44Z")
Here’s the ones I know:
Hugh G. Rection
I. P. Freely
Ivanna Tinkle
Hugh Jass
Ben Dover
Seymour Heine
Mike Rotch
Amanda Hugnkiss
I. C. Wiener
Homer Sexual
Anita Bath
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/7 "2000-12-06T20:04:23Z")
Real life ones I’ve seen: Dick Hehr, his son Kent Hehr (I guess it runs in families), and Anita Dyck
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### Author:  [@Torberg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torberg)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/8 "2000-12-06T20:14:22Z")
Don’t forget the legendary “Roger the Cabin Boy.”
(Now if only I could recall the alleged show on which he was a character.)
And (thanks to Rowan Atkinson) there’s also Jack Ulation, and the Russian exchange student Suckmeoff.
Tor
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### Author:  [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/9 "2000-12-06T20:14:25Z")
There’s a Richard Hertz in my area (central MA). Too bad he doesn’t live in Holden…
This is a prank my friends and I pulled once back in the day:
We’d call up the target and ask for ‘Wayne’. They’d say we had a wrong number and hang up. We’d call them again a little later and ask for Wayne again, but in a different voice. We’d repeat this a couple more times until the target was pretty worked up, and then we’d call them one last time and say ‘Hi, this is Wayne. Have there been any messages for me?’ It’s a wonder no one ever called the cops on us.
In high school, a friend of mine had a cordless phone that would pick up other people’s calls when the batteries in it started to die. We had lots of fun interrupting other people’s conversations with it.
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### Author:  [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/10 "2000-12-06T20:28:22Z")
My version of a phone prank:
Answer the phone with “hi, is Dave there?”
Once a confused woman actually said “Uhm…yeah, just a minute…” and went to get him. 🙂
It at least gives me a pause to decide if I wanna talk to the caller.
K.
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### Author:  [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/11 "2000-12-06T20:31:34Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Torberg \*
> \*\*Don’t forget the legendary “Roger the Cabin Boy.”
>
> (Now if only I could recall the alleged show on which he was a character.)
>
> And (thanks to Rowan Atkinson) there’s also Jack Ulation, and the Russian exchange student Suckmeoff.
>
> Tor \*\*
Roger was supposedly on “Captain Pugwash.” He wasn’t. Neither was Seaman Staines or Master Bates.
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### Author:  [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/12 "2000-12-06T20:37:40Z")
What about Ben Dover’s sister, Eileen or Jack Hoff.
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### Author:  [@McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/McMurphy)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/13 "2000-12-06T21:10:59Z")
You could also have
Jock Strap
Ivor Biggun
Paul Skinback
Betty Humpter
and Wayne Kerr
Me and my friends (usually me) used to phone up random pretending to be cable technicians people and ask if they had Cable television. If they did we would ask them to check certain channels for us. A typical conversation would go like this:
Unsuspecting Victim: Hello?
Me: Hello sir, my name’s Gary and I work for (random cable company) we’ve been experiencing some technical difficulites in your area and would like to ask your co-operation in dealing with it.
Unsuspecting Victim: Why me, what could I do?
Me: All we need you to do is check a couple of cable channels for us and tell us if the transmission’s ok, that will give us some idea of how widespread the problem is.
UV: Oh, uh, well, ok then.
Me: That’s great, thank you very much sir. Now could you please check channel 12 and then tell me how clear the picture is.
UV: Ok
- (brief wait while he goes checks) \*
UV: Channel 12’s fine.
Me: Goooood, now could you check channels 17, 21 and 37
UV: Ok
- (runs off to check) \*
UV: Nope, they’re all fine.
Me: Hmm, ok, that’s good. Could you also check…
and so it goes on, more than once we were able to get people to check all of their channels for us, each time reporting back that there was no interference. Then we would end with something like
UV \* (VERY exasperated) \* : Channels 25, 27, 44, 59, and 14 are all fine.
Me: Well, that’s all of them, and you say they’re ALL fine?
UV: YES!!!
Me: Well, that’s strange. I’ve got some starcharts here and Nostradamus clearly prophesised that there would be some interference round your area on this day exactly.
UV _(the penny drops)_: Whaaaat?!?!?
Me: Nostradamus sir. Italian? 15th century prophet? He prophesised that your TV would, and I quote “Go fuck itself” on this date. It’s all written in the stars sir.
UV: Is this some sort of fucking JOKE!!!
Me: Well actually sir…yes, the problem isn’t _really_ Nostradamus, I just made that up. The _real_ problem is the enormous fat guy in space hovering over your house and blocking the signals. We’re trying to tempt him down with a few hotdogs and a sixpack of Bud but he just won’t budge.
UV: You little fucker!! I’ll beat the shit out of you!!!
Me: Sir, if you’re going to get abusive, I’m just going to have to go. Thankyou for your time…YOU FRIGGIN’ DUMBASS BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
[ii] Click…brrrrrrr. \*
Feel free to use the above script if ever you feel like a good laugh. That was our favourite, we had loads more but I’ll save them for later.
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### Author:  [@BigFriendlyGiant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigFriendlyGiant)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/14 "2000-12-06T22:16:07Z")
How about Adolf Oliver Nibbles or Semore Butts?
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### Author:  [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/15 "2000-12-06T22:58:54Z")
Jack Mehoff
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### Author:  [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2000, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/16 "2000-12-06T23:37:34Z")
Heywood Jablowme
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2000, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/17 "2000-12-07T02:26:44Z")
Rosie Palm and her five sisters.
One of our favorite prank calls would be to do the following:
Me: hello, is there a John there?
Person: No, I’m sorry, you have the wrong number, there’s no John here.
Me: Then how do you go to the bathroom?
or
Me: Then what the hell do you piss in, a dixie cup?
(Much yuks).
Actually, my friends mostly made the prank calls-I can’t do it-I just start laughing and ruin it.
We once found a Harold Dick in the phone book. And this girl we were friends with went to school with his son.
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### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2000, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/18 "2000-12-07T02:32:40Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Trout Mask Replica \*
> **We’d call up the target and ask for ‘Wayne’. They’d say we had a wrong number and hang up. We’d call them again a little later and ask for Wayne again, but in a different voice. We’d repeat this a couple more times until the target was pretty worked up, and then we’d call them one last time and say 'Hi, this is Wayne. Have there been any messages for me?'**
Trout, did you use to do this in the Fox Cities, in Wisconsin? My sister used to get calls for Wayne all the time. Finally she changed her answering machine message:
“Hello. This is not **Wayne. Wayne** does not live here. If you are calling to talk to **Wayne,** you have reached the wrong number . . . [on and on] . . . **Wayne** will not get your message if you leave one here. But if you’d like to leave a message for **Karen** , go right ahead. \”
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### Author:  [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2000, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/19 "2000-12-07T13:39:51Z")
I just heard this one last night.
Mike Auksbig
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### Author:  [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2000, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phonecalls-a-la-simpsons/44330/20 "2000-12-07T15:44:37Z")
Didn’t Ben Dover use to work with C. Howett Fields?
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