# Phoney Vaginas, pocket pals, etc... **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 31, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544 "2003-03-31T21:31:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/1 "2003-03-31T21:31:50Z")
Here is the deal… [standard disclaimer] **I AM A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN THAT GETS MY SHARE OF LOVIN’, HOWEVER,** [/standard disclaimer] I have a freind that hasn’t lately. As a “gag” gift (honestly!) for him, myself and another couple other guys were going to buy him one of the above. However, it’s probably only _partially_ a gag as I wouldn’t be suprised if he’d use it (or at least try). So - Here is the question from a man that has never tried anything like one of them (nor probably never will). Do they, uh, _work_? Personally, I can’t see myself getting all turned on over a piece of plastic but if he’s going to get one, it may as well be semi-decent… [sub]I wonder how many views this thread will get…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/2 "2003-03-31T21:35:15Z")
Well, I imagine that if he can get all turned on over his own hand, then he can get turned on over a piece of plastic, right? I mean, he probably would use porn or visualization in both circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![msgotrocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8edcca/32.png) [@msgotrocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msgotrocks)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/3 "2003-03-31T21:36:43Z")
…a lot. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/4 "2003-03-31T21:39:57Z")
They work just like a G.I. Joe with Action Grip[sup]TM[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/5 "2003-03-31T21:51:50Z")
I’m not a big fan of the plastic vaginas. The problem you run into is that if you’re like most guys, you’ve been using your right hand to stimulate yourself since you were very young and have no doubt done this countless thousands of times. When you then try to use something else, the hole process feels ‘foreign’ to you, and you just can’t get used to the sensation. But, then again, your ‘friend’ might enjoy it once he gets used to it. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/6 "2003-03-31T21:52:08Z")
I have it on good authority that a [Fleshlight](http://www.goodvibes.com/cgi-bin/sgin0102.exe?FNM=62&T1=1+6+CB+BE01+AN&UID=2003033113560734&UREQA=5&UREQB=4&UREQC=3&TRAN85=N&GENP=) is pretty damn nice, if you’re a guy. And available in Anus, Vulva, or plain varieties! ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_D\_oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/839c29/32.png) [@Jane\_D\_oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_D_oh)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/7 "2003-03-31T22:27:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Surreal \* > … When you then try to use something else, the hole process feels ‘foreign’ to you, and you just can’t get used to the sensation. That was one of the best puns I have read all day today. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/8 "2003-03-31T22:38:09Z")
Plain? (I’m at work…) ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/9 "2003-03-31T22:46:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ZenBeam \* > \*\*Plain? (I’m at work…) \*\* hehe, not sure what that means, either. The picture isn’t real detailed. But I think it just means a, um, slit in the plastic thing, not made to look like anything in particular. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/10 "2003-03-31T22:52:09Z")
Yeah, the plain is kinda creepy, actually. It’s very unnatural. Anyway, [here’s](http://www.fleshlight.com/main/products.cfm?id=2105) a collection of what they all look like. They’re pretty cool looking and I like that colour. ---
**Author:** ![robcaro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@robcaro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robcaro)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/11 "2003-03-31T23:20:08Z")
The hand will work nicely unless it starts telling you: “Not now, I’ve got a headache.” So I’ve been told. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/12 "2003-04-01T02:02:09Z")
There’s always the [Super Onanism Machine](http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/waiwai/0303/0326nohands.html) or the [RealDoll](http://www.realdoll.com/). RealDolls seem more creepy than sexy to me, though. Not to mention that only the super-rich have that much money to spend on sex toys. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/13 "2003-04-01T02:05:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by robcaro \* > \*\*The hand will work nicely unless it starts telling you: “Not now, I’ve got a headache.” So I’ve been told. \*\* When it tells you “I want your baby”, _then_ you’ve got a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/14 "2003-04-01T02:48:09Z")
Thank you, **Speaker**. That was . . . educational. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/15 "2003-04-01T03:18:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Anyway, here’s a collection of what they all look like. Hey, they have a mouth, too! I wonder if it has teeth. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/16 "2003-04-01T04:55:02Z")
Well, let me tell you… My wife worked as a bookkeeper for a major online sex products company. ALL employees were encouraged, but not required, to test or review products - porn, toys, etcetera. I was volunteered to try out a suction thing or two. I found them to be more trouble than they were worth, in general. Your friend will try it out, if he’s inquisitive or horny, but probably won’t enjoy it as much as he enjoys his hand. hrh ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/17 "2003-04-01T06:56:18Z")
While browsing around a porn shop (it was with a girlfriend… really) I saw some of these. They have little “please touch me” pieces of the material on the package. I must say we have made some major advances in materials science and I am intrigued. ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/18 "2003-04-01T10:34:28Z")
Great link speaker, those are really cute! (for being sex toys that is). Did you know they have a chat on the site? _boggles merrily_ ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/19 "2003-04-01T10:50:54Z")
Am I the only one who’d be more impressed if they actually LIT UP while you were doing them?? 😃 Max ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544/20 "2003-04-01T11:28:57Z")
Mild lavender scent? Bwhahahahaaa! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phoney-vaginas-pocket-pals-etc/165544.md?page=2)