# Phony (And Stupid) Fake "Marine" Busted **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 30, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347 "2006-11-30T17:22:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/81 "2006-12-01T15:51:17Z")
[QUOTE=devilsknew] Now, on the other hand, I do suspect I was a Blind Mule for the CIA during the height of the coldwar. You’ve seen it a hundred times: the unwitting exchange student smuggling important microfilm to and from West German and East German Covert Operators totally ignorant that he is a pawn in the spygame. [/QUOTE] You look like [Anthony Edwards](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089222/)? In any case, meet me at the Cafe Friedrichstrasse. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/82 "2006-12-01T16:20:00Z")
[QUOTE=Dooku] What I find so bizarre about this is that these guys must have a deathwish. What kind of an idiot pretends to be an ex-marine in a room full of ex-marines? Why not just get it over with and make a fake Hell’s Angels jacket and hang out at a Hell’s Angels rally? [/QUOTE] Honestly, the worst that could happen impersonating retired military is pretty much what’s going on now. It pops up in the news and you get outed as a weirdo, maybe on the outside you get popped one in the mouth. Angel’s on the other hand…You would have to have a deathwish to do anything that would upset an outlaw biker. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/83 "2006-12-01T17:15:44Z")
I think a fitting punishment would be to sentence the fakers to Marine boot camp, no matter their age or health. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/84 "2006-12-01T17:49:20Z")
Well, as the only living American to have gone through the Marine, Army, Navy, Airforce, AND Coast Guard boot camps, I have to say, the Marine boot camp was the one where I had to buckle down the most. Of course, they did have to bring back R. Lee Ermy to be my personal drill sergeant. ---
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/85 "2006-12-01T18:03:28Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] Well, as the only living American to have gone through the Marine, Army, Navy, Airforce, AND Coast Guard boot camps, I have to say, the Marine boot camp was the one where I had to buckle down the most. Of course, they did have to bring back R. Lee Ermy to be my personal drill sergeant. [/QUOTE] I actually met someone who went through all of the boot camps, with the Marine Corps being his last tour. He retired as a Sergeant (E5). He started in the Army and got out an E3, doing 4 years. He went to the Navy as an E3, got out an E4 (after 3 years), went to the Air Force as an E3, got out a E5 (after 4 years), went in the Coast Guard (not sure what rank, but for 4 years). He went to the Marine Corps as an E1 (Marine Corps is the only service that does not recognize previous service to go in as a higher rank) and came out an E5 after 4 years. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/86 "2006-12-01T18:10:35Z")
[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF] That’s one of the fringe benefits of doing what I do. I don’t have to make shit up. 🙂 [/QUOTE] What’s ironic, is that back when I was going through Special Forces training, my buddies and I would make up all kinds of unrelated, bullshit stories at clubs. We claimed to be Peace Corps workers, Amway Salesmen, Puppy Store owners, unemployed open ocean sailors… just about anything. Got ass most of the time too. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/87 "2006-12-01T18:14:34Z")
[QUOTE=FormerMarineGuy] I actually met someone who went through all of the boot camps, with the Marine Corps being his last tour. He retired as a Sergeant (E5). He started in the Army and got out an E3, doing 4 years. He went to the Navy as an E3, got out an E4 (after 3 years), went to the Air Force as an E3, got out a E5 (after 4 years), went in the Coast Guard (not sure what rank, but for 4 years). He went to the Marine Corps as an E1 (Marine Corps is the only service that does not recognize previous service to go in as a higher rank) and came out an E5 after 4 years. [/QUOTE] Why the hell would he do this to himself? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/88 "2006-12-01T18:16:40Z")
The code of the puppy-store owner is harsh but fair. It is a proud and lonely thing. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/89 "2006-12-01T18:28:35Z")
Having lived in the same neighborhood as the CIA back in the days of its ultra secret paranoia, I gotta tell you that saying that you were in it pretty much busted you. In the Sixties, you could tell who the spook kids were without any trouble. Their parents “worked for the government.” No agancy, or branch mentioned. “Oh, the CIA?” The answer was almost always some vague relpy about some office job, I don’t know where the office is. The spooks had a bar, in McLean though. Little dump on Old Dominion Dr. No one talked about work. Tris ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/90 "2006-12-01T18:43:39Z")
[QUOTE=Bear\_Nenno] What’s ironic, is that back when I was going through Special Forces training, my buddies and I would make up all kinds of unrelated, bullshit stories at clubs. We claimed to be Peace Corps workers, Amway Salesmen, Puppy Store owners, unemployed open ocean sailors… just about anything. Got ass most of the time too. [/QUOTE] Oh, yeah, the old “Amway salesman” line. Used it many times to good effect in my younger days. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/91 "2006-12-01T19:47:06Z")
[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF] You look like [Anthony Edwards](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089222/)? In any case, meet me at the Cafe Friedrichstrasse. [/QUOTE] I think every single city, town, village, hamlet, and thorp in Germany has a Friedrichstrasse. Hmmmm…that would make for one heckuva pub crawl, though. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/92 "2006-12-01T20:11:38Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] I have the opposite problem. I had a job that _sounds_ fascinating. I was a AF Cryptologic Linguist - that’s right, a foreign language code breaker. While I also can’t really talk about it, let’s just say that the only times we weren’t fighting boredom we were fighting each other (pranking each other, actually). During my 2.5 years on base doing the actual job, only 2 things of interest happened…none, of course, on my shift. [/QUOTE] I was an electronic warfare intelligence analyst. Sounds amazing, doesn’t it? We spend most of our time hiding in the secure room drinking coffee and playing euchre. Our unit crest should have had a Jack of Diamonds on it. Sometimes we read travel brochures and dreamt about being on tropical beaches chasing ladies and drinking mai-tais. In six years the most exciting thing that ever happened was the time Steve Manning chased a moose with his MLVW. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2006, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/93 "2006-12-02T03:20:16Z")
[QUOTE=Triskadecamus] Having lived in the same neighborhood as the CIA back in the days of its ultra secret paranoia, I gotta tell you that saying that you were in it pretty much busted you. In the Sixties, you could tell who the spook kids were without any trouble. Their parents “worked for the government.” No agancy, or branch mentioned. “Oh, the CIA?” The answer was almost always some vague relpy about some office job, I don’t know where the office is. [/QUOTE] I know a guy who I’m 99% sure is NSA, but will say nothing more than “I do computer stuff for the government.” He used to be military intelligence. I lost touch with a college pal who enlisted in the Marines back in 1997 with the stated goal of doing a hitch and then trying to become CIA. He was very intelligent, but a bit out-of-control, and very interested in the idea of being (his term) “a trained killer.” Oh, and he spoke fluent Arabic. I often wonder where he is now. ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/94 "2006-12-02T03:49:53Z")
I work at a public library. One day a patron chatted me up with a tale of his years in the Special Forces. Not long thereafter, and he came in and checked out a bunch of books on studying for the ASVAB. Do re-upping Special Forces guys need to take the ASVAB? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2006, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/95 "2006-12-02T04:00:59Z")
I used to work for the CIA. Willing to talk about it too. The worst part was the sense of isolation, that you were standing out there alone in the middle of a huge flat, expanse. But hey, that grass won’t mow itself. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/96 "2006-12-02T04:02:06Z")
[QUOTE=Glassy] I work at a public library. One day a patron chatted me up with a tale of his years in the Special Forces. Not long thereafter, and he came in and checked out a bunch of books on studying for the ASVAB. Do re-upping Special Forces guys need to take the ASVAB? 😛 [/QUOTE] He was just getting it for his friend. After all he knew what to look for and his friend would be clueless. Jim {What, that is just barely plausible} ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/97 "2006-12-02T04:22:50Z")
[QUOTE=Dooku] Ah yes. IIRC we rebranded that as Microsoft Visual Vision Vista File Management Access System Studio Software Developer Kit 1.0.1.1 (MVVVFMASSSDK) [/QUOTE] Yeah, but I invented the OPK. Licenced it to Microsoft for millions. The contractors are remodeling my mansion…how about your place. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/98 "2006-12-02T15:28:20Z")
I used to work with a group of guys who supposedly were all former seals. You could not have picked any of them out of a line-up as being so. The only distinguishing characteristic of all of them was that they were all pretty fit compared to other guys of their age. We have a wierdo customer (one of many) who came in all decked out in military crap (the hat, the jacket, the pins, the stories of 'nam) and spent all day drinking on other guys dimes. I think he got busted because he’s never uttered a peep since then. We are quite close to MacDill (Central Command) and have many military folks, I would think it would be hard to keep up a facade. As far as the Stolen Valor law, go for it. These scumbags are counting on our sense of appreciation, the brotherhood of service and the kindness offered to those that have risked their lives playing Euchre in secure rooms. It’s called stolen valor for a reason. Boot camp would be too kind. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/99 "2006-12-03T05:58:51Z")
I’ve been gone for 12 hours and had a more interesting day due to this thread. I had a gentlemen that I had dealt to yesterday at my table today. I had noted his hat and wanted to look up what it was about. However, I forgot. So I see him today, and tell him what I learned today, that there is no such thing as an ex-Marine, but rather (and yes he said it with me) Former Marines. His hat said something about Silent Drill Team, Marines 8th & I. I asked him what it was, he said he couldn’t tell me. Of course, by then the jokes about everyone being a seal/frogman/green beret were being told, so he indeed, said it with a grin. I told him I would know by the next day, if not the next time I saw him, he said if I didn’t find out, he would then tell me. So now I know. It is an honor drill team made up of hand picked Marines. They perform complex drills with no vocal coaching, they are entirely silent. They perform many ceremonial functions, presidential details, etc. It is an elite corps. When I told him what I found out, he said if I wasn’t already married, he’d marry me. So there I am today, in the room with a guy I mentioned in my previous post, who is most certainly an imposter, and this guy, who I would wager, Is the Real Deal. The look on this mans face, when I took the time out of my day to learn about what service he performed for me. The understanding of the time, energy and honor it took to be a part of the Silent Drill team. I wanted to walk up to the fake and slap him across the face. How disgraceful it is. BTW, my mystery customer who disappears and reappears at different intervals than my other military folk popped back in today. It is a shame we never know if and when they will come home. Thank you all that have served, do serve and continue to serve. I take it personally and I appreciate it. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347/100 "2006-12-03T20:34:14Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] Of course, they did have to bring back R. Lee Ermy to be my personal drill sergeant. [/QUOTE] Yeah, well when _ **I** _ was in the Marines, I was R Lee Ermey’s drill instructor… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phony-and-stupid-fake-marine-busted/382347.md?page=6)