[QUOTE=Spiral Stairs]
Faux-hipster phrases that people use to make stupid things sound cooler than they are:
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I’m down with that. 
I feel ya. (this is inappropriate in the business environemnt, but I hear it at work all the time).
[QUOTE=jjimm]
Struan, I confess that I use that all the time - in my world, there’s no other word that describes “websites that actually do stuff rather than sit there”. Can you suggest an alternative?
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I’ve never heard the word used in exactly the way that you describe.
What the hell is wrong with the various forms and tenses of “function” that existed already?
sigh
I’ve been exposed to that word for, what, ten years? I still hate it, but must accept its ubiquitionality. 
[QUOTE=pinkfreud]
It sounds as if he has grafted a clichéd catchphrase, “at that point in time,” onto “at the same time.” Speaking of “point in time,” I can’t remember having heard “point in time” until the Watergate hearings. Aha! Another thing to blame on Nixon.
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Thank you, 'cause I was about to turn to him, put my hand behind my ear and say “Do what!?” and walk away.
That, or throw down, in the “back-in-the-day” sense of the phrase.
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting]
Thank you, 'cause I was about to turn to him, put my hand behind my ear and say “Do what!?” and walk away.
That, or throw down, in the “back-in-the-day” sense of the phrase.
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And then he’s, like, totally random.
I’m sick of hearing “on the other side of the aisle” when a politician is referring to the opposing party. It’s not clever - it’s annoying. Stop it!!!
[QUOTE=ryobserver]
A local TV news traffic reporter up here has taken to describing local roads as being “in shutdown mode”. “An overturned tanker truck has put I-95 in shutdown mode…” Makes me want to put his lip in fat mode.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, reminds me a bit of George Carlin bitching about the weather reporter saying, “Florida’s having a RAIN EVENT.” Anyway, a quick BACK OF THE ENVELOPE calculation leads me to think that my current peeve is how all businesses (even shitbox, back-alley ones) have to have SOLUTIONS in their name.
“Mario’s Stand-over and Extortion Solutions”…
Edited to add: I think I caused this myself by praying that one day, all those companies would drop SYSTEMS from their name. Careful what you wish for, kids…
[QUOTE=Mike Fun]
I hate the expression “Do what?” or “Do what now?” when someone didn’t hear what you said. It’s a Southern thing and it makes the speaker sound fantastically ignorant.
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I use “Say what now?” which is more or less similar. I like it because I can ramp up the level of my confusion: “Say what?” -> “Say what now?” -> “Say what in the who now?” -> “Say what in the who with where now?” 
[QUOTE=Indistinguishable]
(Still, if I wanted to put forward a deeply misguided attempt… How about *“A piece of work is been around by there”? 
).
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There are unclaimed pieces of work in my environs. To put it in passive voice, I’d try “a piece of work has been identified.”
My contribution to the thread is a word, coed, when used as a noun to describe a female student. Dated, but apparently making something of a comeback.
“Have a good one.” (From sales clerks and such.)
Well, not anymore. I’m in a foul mood from now on.
“There is no ‘I’ in team.”
But there is a U in butthead, butthead! So stop saying that!
[QUOTE=jjimm]
“‘Assume’ makes an ass of you and me.”
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I like my version of that
Me: To assume makes an ass out of you
Slight pause
Them: And Me
Me: Ok.
[QUOTE=pinkfreud]
“Think outside the box” has outlived its usefulness. Anyone who uses the “Think outside the box” cliché is obviously stuck inside the box.
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Last time someone said that to me, I answered “Nah, we just need a bigger box…”
“Life isn’t fair” : At best, a stupid statement of the obvious. As an excuse, it gives me the urge to punch them in the face, steal their wallet and say “Hey, I’m just following your philosophy. This isn’t fair either !”
No, life isn’t fair; that’s a problem to be solved or worked around, not an excuse.
“Sucks to be you” : It’s just so totally, sneeringly dismissive of the other person’s problems.
“Productive citizen” : Not moral citizen, or honest citizen, or upstanding citizen, or admirable citizen; productive. It shows what our values have degenerated into, IMHO.
[QUOTE=threnodyangelfire]
“There is no ‘I’ in team.”!
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My usual response to that: “There’s no ‘Team’ in ‘I’, either.” Really throws them out of whack, let me tell you.
Our Area Manager is over-fond of the phrase “Moving forward” or “Going forward”. And I keep saying “‘From now on’ or ‘In (the) future’ is fine. You sound like a minor character in a Dilbert comic when you talk like that.”
I have, however, introduced our Area Manager to the word “Pwn”. There’s something incredibly satisfying about getting an E-mail which says that we as a business need to pwn our sales processes and, by extension, our competitors. All their base are belong to us, and all that.
I have some **fairly unique ** examples…
But obselete grammar is one thing up with which I will not put.
I’m tired of the “gimme 5” or “high 5” requests and accompanying hand slapping response. It’s been used for 30 some odd years. Please let’s stop this. People ask toddlers to “gimme 5”. Yuck!
“My bad.” Fortunately, I don’t hear this too much.
“World-Class _______”
Impact, as in “How will this change impact our operations.” What’s wrong with using the word “affect” in that sentence?
I can’t bear ‘If and when’, when talking of a future event.
Either an event will certainly happen (‘when’) or may happen (‘if’).
If the phrase has to exist, it should be ‘If or when’.
“There is no I in Team.”
No, but there is a ME.
Another vote for “My Bad”.
Your Bad what?
Honestly …
To tell the truth …
Truthfully …
If you weren’t telling the truth before, why should I believe you now?