# Phrases I Need to Never Hear My Mother Say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 21, 2013, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092 "2013-07-21T04:48:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/41 "2013-07-27T04:46:13Z")
Yes, Candida means white so it’s equivalent to Blanche, Bianca, Gwen. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/42 "2013-07-27T07:27:55Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > So, I’m having dinner with my parents tonight. My mom makes me a drink, but overfills the glass so the only thing keeping it from overflowing is the surface tension of the liquid, making it impossible to lift the glass without spilling it. I point this out to my mom. Her response? > > “You’ll just have to bend over and suck it.” > > :eek: Phrases your mother never needs to hear you say: “Way ahead of you there, mom.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/43 "2013-07-27T08:13:08Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > The woman sounds nice! 😉 Thanks for the laugh~ ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/44 "2013-07-27T13:14:54Z")
“The doctor told me I need to masturbate” pass the brain bleach, please. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/45 "2013-07-28T21:06:02Z")
My mom was 56 when my dad died. As far as I know, he was her one and only partner. Why did I, the baby of the family, get the question, a few years after he died, “What does ‘oral sex’ mean?” Can’t remember if I was the only one of us three kids married at the time (and to her mind that meant the only one who would know anything about sex) but I tell ya, I answered that one as quickly and efficiently as possible and then left the house for a few hours! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/46 "2013-07-28T22:00:42Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > A mate of mine did once have a girlfriend called Candida. I guess she had some excuse for being batshit insane. Or she got it from this: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/WROdwlk9_h8/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AH-BIAC6AKKAgwIABABGFkgZShGMA8=&rs=AOn4CLC-b7rSI79r3Agf1x9xce1vreJ2qw "Tony Orlando "Candida"") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WROdwlk9_h8) ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/47 "2013-07-29T16:18:17Z")
My MIL: I can have an orgasm from having my feet rubbed. And yes, someone was rubbing her feet when she said it. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/48 "2013-07-29T16:21:54Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > In the first person, shouldn’t that be MYLF? Maybe not. She could have just been making plans for the evening. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/49 "2013-07-29T16:39:10Z")
> [@tim-n-va](#): > > My MIL: I can have an orgasm from having my feet rubbed. > > And yes, someone was rubbing her feet when she said it. :eek: It wasn’t you, was it?! ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/50 "2013-07-29T16:43:09Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > It wasn’t you, was it?! There are so many things I try suppress about that incident…but no. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/51 "2013-07-29T17:53:32Z")
My college roommate tells the story of the time Mom came for a visit and they went out for lunch together. When the bill came, Mom said “I’ll blow you for it.” Apparently that meant “I’ll treat” in the good ol’ days. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/52 "2013-07-29T17:55:05Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > When the bill came, Mom said “I’ll blow you for it.” Apparently that meant “I’ll treat” in the good ol’ days. Still does. ---
**Author:** ![FrancisCastle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b4bc9f/32.png) [@FrancisCastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrancisCastle)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092/53 "2013-07-29T18:35:27Z")
We always used to laugh about how clueless my ex MIL was. While helping my ex and I move into our first house, she was carrying a mirror upstairs to the bedroom. My ex joked that we were going to hang it above the bed (on the ceiling), but she just couldn’t understand why someone would put a mirror there. Then later we figured out she just plays stupid. My ex FIL had built us a bedroom set as a wedding present. She would occasionally ask if the bed squeaked. Until we got pregnant, then she stopped asking. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-i-need-to-never-hear-my-mother-say/664092.md?page=2)