“Have a Blessed day.”
and as a Veteran:
“Thank you for your service”
Ahh, but I was hoping everyone would yell “Bingo” all at once… I did make one diagonal buzzwords that I knew he’d use.
Of course, before that happened, Meeting Maven went around snatching sheets out of everyone’s hands. 10x as disruptive as I was.
That reminds me of the phrasing I have been seeing in news stories lately, “we reached out to (involved party) but have not gotten a response.” I mean, ick. What happened to “(involved party) had no comment” ?
Does anybody ever use that when they aren’t making a joke?
“It is what it is.” Thanks for the tautology.
Because “no comment” is itself a statement.
Media can’t attribute a statement to a party who has not spoken.
True on the surface.
But what it really means is: “Listen peasants, I Mr. Bossman could solve your legitimate operational problems here. But I’m not going to. So just suck up our organization’s surreal stupidity and unrealistic demands on you and get back to work. If you don’t like it the door is right over there.”
I agree the line has been blurred and people often mix up their usage (or utilisage?). I too am annoyed when people repeatedly say “utilize” instead of “use” when there’s no good reason.
But, they are different words and each has its own purpose.
Speaking of introductory phrases, there are few linguistic quirks that I hate more than commercials that begin with “Introducing …”. It might not be so bad if it hadn’t become so universally widespread. Look, you’re trying to sell a toilet bowl cleaner, not introducing a debutante to the queen at her coming-out party.
It can be replaced with the simple word “later”. “Let’s talk about that later” is about all that needs to be said, and it has the advantage of actually being English.
I don’t agree. You said later that you make that distinction frequently, but I would be willing to bet that almost no one understands such a distinction. Bandwidth is strictly a technical term referring to the information-carrying capacity of a transmission channel, and has been appropriated by the biz-speak types to refer vaguely to the capacity to do work. It’s been used that way long enough to have made it into dictionaries, but with confusing meanings – “the ability or time to deal with a situation” (Cambridge English Dictionary) or “the emotional or mental capacity necessary to do or consider something” (Merriam-Webster). IOW, not having the “bandwidth” basically means not having the capacity to do a task, and I think most people, like me, would interpret it as meaning not having enough free time to do it.
If what is meant is that you don’t have the skill to do it, or that the task is not doable in the requested timeframe because of serial dependencies (or the most common meaning that you just don’t have time) then just bloody well say so. The reason I so totally loathe biz-speak is because in its attempt to sound cool, sophisticated, or in-groupiness, it almost always obfuscates, and never adds clarity. I dealt with a vice-president of a large organization once who was so totally enamoured of biz-speak that sometimes I literally had no idea what he was saying, and that’s not an exaggeration. Fortunately, it turned out to be safe to assume that he didn’t know either, so I didn’t actually miss anything.
“As a reminder” as the start of the announcement of a rule over a public address system. E.g. “As a reminder, urination is strictly prohibited on the electric fence”.
If I didn’t know about the rule before the announcement, it wasn’t a reminder. If I did know about the rule before the announcement, my obedience or lack thereof is probably not due to forgetfulness.
Especially true if the announcement was clearly made because someone was observed about to break the rule. Then it has the pretense of being a general announcement to nobody in particular even though it is clearly directed at that one guy facing the electric fence with his fingers on his zipper.
Umm, I have a name, you know. “That one guy”, indeed…
Meanwhile, re: bandwidth, thanks to wolfpuppy for articulating a prevalent problem: using buzzwords to mask specific meanings:
If what is meant is that you don’t have the skill to do it, or that the task is not doable in the requested timeframe because of serial dependencies (or the most common meaning that you just don’t have time) then just bloody well say so. The reason I so totally loathe biz-speak is because in its attempt to sound cool, sophisticated, or in-groupiness, it almost always obfuscates, and never adds clarity. I dealt with a vice-president of a large organization once who was so totally enamoured of biz-speak that sometimes I literally had no idea what he was saying, and that’s not an exaggeration. Fortunately, it turned out to be safe to assume that he didn’t know either, so I didn’t actually miss anything.
If you don’t have time, just say so. If you promised a manager you’d work on her stuff before my project, admit it. If the problem is that i’m asking you to do stuff we can’t with present software/people/skills, just tell me. DON’T make me grill you until I can figure out what you meant by bandwidth.
I have a friend whose stock phrase is “those one guys” – are you one of them?
Nome Sane? 
“Talk about it later” could mean later in this meeting.
“Offline” means after the meeting is done; don’t need to involve everyone in it.
I think it’s not a tautology; more a statement of a state of affairs that can’t be changed easily.
“It could be better, it could be worse, but, it is what it is.”
I’ve been online for 25 years, and have worked professionally as a computer programmer for 22 years, and only now have you generously enlightened me as to the original meaning of the term, of which my previous history left me wholly ignorant.
So, a mere beginner, then. 
(Some of us are old!)
You’re welcome.
The use of the word “bandwidth” to refer a person’s available time or resources is stupid, ambiguous, pretentious, and potentially confusing as hell, since no one seems to agree on what this appropriated term actually means.
If you want to be nitpicky, both terms are ambiguous. It should be fairly clear that “later” rarely means shuffling an item around on the agenda, but usually means taking the discussion to a different venue at a later time. To the extent that there’s ambiguity, “taking it offline” is even more ambiguous. Does it mean having a secret meeting in a cave somewhere with just that one individual, or what? This is really nothing more than biz-speak types appropriating what they consider “cool” expressions from technology in confusing and inappropriate ways to everyday business.
Why not just “You and I can talk about that after the meeting”? Clear, to the point.
I can’t stand “easy peasy.” Yes, I know the rest of it and its origin. It is even more annoying when it’s a dude utilizing the phrase. 