# Physically strong women **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 27, 2022, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169 "2022-12-27T16:25:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/1 "2022-12-27T16:25:57Z")
I joined a gym to get strong, as I was a total weakling. I especially want to build up my arms. Also self defense is important to me. The last 2 guys Ive been with say, Dont get too buff. Why? I dont plan to get masculine, but Ronda Rousey is my unreachable goal. Is this a physical attractiveness thing, or a I dont want my woman to be stronger than me? ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/2 "2022-12-27T16:29:20Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Is this a physical attractiveness thing, or a I dont want my woman to be stronger than me? Probably a bit of both ! ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/3 "2022-12-27T16:30:33Z")
Did you ask them? They are the ones who would know. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/4 "2022-12-27T16:37:45Z")
I always wanted to be like Sarah Connor in T2. But I didn’t want it enough. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/5 "2022-12-27T16:43:18Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > The last 2 guys Ive been with say, Dont get too buff. > Why? Because they are ignorant about what working out does to a woman. It firms up a woman’s body, which makes her more feminine. (It’s also possibly insecurity on their part: “don’t get too buff” could mean “don’t get too fit because it means I have to address my own inactivity”) ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/6 "2022-12-27T17:05:08Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > The last 2 guys Ive been with say, Dont get too buff. Maybe they feared that someday you might just choke them for saying something stupid. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/7 "2022-12-27T17:05:20Z")
My gf has horses. There is some physical labor she does daily; cleaning stalls, carrying 60 pound hay bales around, carrying 5 gallon buckets of water, etc. She also does exercises very day; planking(?), sit-ups, etc. Last summer she finished in second place in a handler/dog obstacle run. The guy who took first was 26 and had to go all out to win. She qualifies as “buff”, but I think it’s great. She rocks a bikini at 64. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/8 "2022-12-27T17:31:01Z")
I’m a gym rat. I’ve never met a woman who I though was “too buff.” ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/9 "2022-12-27T17:33:55Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I always wanted to be like Sarah Connor in T2. But I didn’t want it enough. My son’s ideal woman is Sarah Connor in T2. I don’t understand the men in the OP’s life; I’d like to have looked like Sarah Connor when I was younger. I’m a few years past that ideal, but I’d like to be a bit more buff. I’d have to give up Coca Cola though, and that ain’t happening. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/10 "2022-12-27T17:41:57Z")
Well, ex was in a wheelchair, and my current is 130 lbs. I am 155. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/11 "2022-12-27T17:42:20Z")
I mean, there is such a thing as “too buff”. But that’s way, way beyond what the vast majority of gym members, of either sex, are ever likely to reach. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/12 "2022-12-27T17:56:49Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > there is such a thing as “too buff”. But that’s way, way beyond what the vast majority of gym members, of either sex, are ever likely to reach. If a woman in the gym approaches “too buff”, she’s using steroids. A woman training naturally doesn’t have enough testosterone to produce exceptionally large muscles. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/13 "2022-12-27T17:59:38Z")
My ex said it wasn’t feminine. Testosterone? Well, I went thru menopause ten years ago, and I take estrogen. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/14 "2022-12-27T17:59:39Z")
In general. But, not always true. There are some women with naturally high T, and the ability to put on a lot of muscle. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/15 "2022-12-27T18:05:52Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > My ex said it wasn’t feminine. Your ex was wrong. ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/16 "2022-12-27T18:12:42Z")
Ronda Rousey looks fine and feminine to me. But maybe your guys were thinking of female bodybuilders with very sculpted muscles? > **[What’s It Like Being a Female Bodybuilder? — The Bold Italic — San Francisco](https://thebolditalic.com/what-s-it-like-being-a-female-bodybuilder-the-bold-italic-san-francisco-9c56fd2b1108)** > > I’ve been photographing female bodybuilders and physique athletes since the 1990s. I always thought these women looked cool, like real-life superheroes (I collected comics as a kid), but it wasn’t… ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/17 "2022-12-27T18:51:08Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Is this a physical attractiveness thing, or a I dont want my woman to be stronger than me? Another possibility is that on some level they thought astronger more confident you wpuld be more likely to leave them. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/18 "2022-12-27T18:52:59Z")
I most definitely wouldve left my ex sooner had I been more confident/had self esteem. But I also wouldve been able to defend him, which wouldve made me more “useful” to him. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/19 "2022-12-27T19:01:25Z")
This isn’t a look that’s particularly ‘attractive’ … to _me:_ [![](https://i0.wp.com/thesocietypages.org/engagingsports/files/2017/06/PB50660.jpg?ssl=1) ](https://i0.wp.com/thesocietypages.org/engagingsports/files/2017/06/PB50660.jpg?ssl=1) But for some people, it may be the apotheosis of what’s attractive, sexy, feminine, or desirable. I also allow that even some of these hyper-muscular body building competitors may look significantly different when they’re not in final training _for_ a competition, when diet, dehydration, and any number of ‘tweaks’ may come into play. This lady, day-to-day and in ‘street clothes,’ may actually _be_ my idea of a beautiful woman. I just don’t know. As a guy who exercised a lot for most of his adult life, but spent little time in the gym, the first thing this look usually said to me (again, very personal) was “Four hours a day in the gym” 😉 Which meant values or priorities that were very different from mine. But the fitness models, for an example? I think they look A.Mazing. That’s a different body type, generally. Here’s to your health. You have to take care of you, and – hopefully – find somebody that understands just how attractive _that_ quality can be. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2022, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/20 "2022-12-27T19:02:16Z")
People who are utterly ignorant about exercise might think ordinary gym-goers can quickly look like the women in @gkster’s cite. ETA: or @DavidNRockies cite just above. The reality is that look requires good genes, monster 24/7 dedication, and incredible effort. Not the sort of thing a casual or even dedicated ordinary gym-goer will _ever_ achieve. Of either gender. Being charitable, I’d put the OP’s friends’ comments down to massive ignorance and a hunk of “Just say the first cliche thing that pops to mind when faced with a novel idea.” There are plenty of less charitable interpretations already given up-thread so I’ll not belabor them. Only the OP has enough info to say which is probably their actual sentiment. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169.md?page=2)