# Physically strong women **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 27, 2022, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169 "2022-12-27T16:25:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2022, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/41 "2022-12-28T03:35:38Z")
Over the decades, I’ve known many women who wanted to do some kind of exercise program, and were hesitant because it would make them look like that. Fortunately, it doesn’t work that way; among other things, it’s BEYOND a full time job. ---
**Author:** ![Ziberian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/919ad9/32.png) [@Ziberian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ziberian)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2022, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/42 "2022-12-28T18:38:48Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > As a female, I wanted to be able to defend myself, if need be. Technique/skills are just as important for defending yourself as than muscles, but muscles are a good place to start. And being in great shape helps on the front end. Predators look for weak & scared so the confidence of knowing you can defend yourself helps prevent situations where you need to. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2022, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/43 "2022-12-29T16:32:31Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > My ex said it would be weird to have a gf who could beat him up Your ex has some remarkably unrealistic expectations of what a gym membership will do. It’ll make you stronger and look better but you’re not going to turn into Jason Statham. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2022, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/44 "2022-12-29T16:55:50Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > you’re not going to turn into Jason Statham. Jason Statham Net Worth $90 Million Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2022, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/45 "2022-12-29T17:02:06Z")
I guess this is a side track, but whenever I go in for a doctor check up, I’m asked if I feel safe at home. That is relevant for both men and women. And ‘safe’ is not just physically safe I suppose. There are plenty of types of abuse. My Wife and I are good. The only time I might feel threatened is in a chess game. We will be playing tonight as she has tomorrow off. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2022, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/46 "2022-12-29T17:04:43Z")
I would never beat someone up, except in self defense. It wouldn’t have looked good to the police if I’d beat up someone in a wheelchair. But I Do want to be able to beat someone up on the off chance I was ever attacked. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2022, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/47 "2022-12-29T17:08:30Z")
Some guys don’t like “buff” or athletic looking women. There’s nothing wrong with that. They might just have a preference for skinny or waify looking women. But that’s not universal and shouldn’t impact whether you decide to go to the gym or not. > [@DavidNRockies](#): > > This isn’t a look that’s particularly ‘attractive’ … to _me:_ > > [https://i0.wp.com/thesocietypages.org/engagingsports/files/2017/06/PB50660.jpg?ssl=1](https://i0.wp.com/thesocietypages.org/engagingsports/files/2017/06/PB50660.jpg?ssl=1) She’s a bit much IMHO. But in all fairness, bodybuilders get all pumped up and spray tanned and whatnot before a show. She probably doesn’t look like that day to day. Another thing I don’t think was mentioned is that you need to be on a crazy diet to get like that. Like eating nothing but salmon and chicken 5 times a day or something. > [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Edited to add- I’ve never fought anyone. In a test of strength, I would do bad, but if I were mad, and someone dissed my son, I could do good work. Contrary to popular belief, unless you are Jennifer Walters after being exposed to gamma radiation, simply flying into an unfocused rage will not actually make you a better fighter. In most cases, it may actually make you worse. > [@SuntanLotion](#): > > My ex used to be ripped before he got ill, could knock someone out with one blow. But we could wear each others pants. > My now bf, is 5’9" and 130. No way could I fit in his pants. Maybe its a “its not feminine” thing I don’t know how old you kids are, but if your boyfriend is 5’9" 130 lbs, that’s not a very high bar for “not getting too buff” (assuming he’s not trying to maintain weight for wrestling or something). Any any event, my advice is to not focus on someone else’s unobtainable body type and simply adopt sustainable fitness and diet habits that fit your lifestyle. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2022, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/48 "2022-12-30T23:45:57Z")
In my mind, “Don’t get too buff” is in the same league as, “Don’t get too smart”. Both examples of misogyny. Although my wife is not stronger than me, I have a suspicion that she may well be smarter. ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2022, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/49 "2022-12-30T23:54:00Z")
Wolf attacks are very rare > **[List of wolf attacks in North America](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wolf_attacks_in_North_America)** > > There have been few documented and undocumented wolf attacks on humans in North America in comparison to wolf attacks in Eurasia, and few relative to attacks by other larger carnivores. > Below is an amalgamated list of verified, questionable and unverified attacks. > Because of the relative rarity of documented wolf attacks on humans in North America, some non-fatal attacks have been of interest to experts. > The Spokesman Review Brian ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2022, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/50 "2022-12-31T12:07:09Z")
To answer the OP, if you want to be buff, you do you, of course, it’s totally up to your own preference. But the reason many (but not all) men dislike a muscular buff woman is because of sexual dimorphism - for the same reason many women might not want a dainty or makeup-wearing, or feminine-dressing man. Such people are attracted to “what makes men men and women women.” ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2022, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/51 "2022-12-31T15:33:38Z")
That makes sense. My bf wears a ton of jewelry, necklaces, rings, ears, bracelets, etc. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2022, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/52 "2022-12-31T17:45:48Z")
So your BF wants to decorate himself in styles that are traditionally viewed as femme in the US, while at the same time insisting that you not engage in activities that are traditionally viewed as masculine? Sounds like a real winner. Maybe not a bad person, but IMO definitely a clueless one. Or at least an un-self-aware one. The older I get the more I treasure self-aware people. Pity they’re so rare. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2022, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/53 "2022-12-31T19:26:13Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > My ex said it would be weird to have a gf who could beat him up Curious. Such a phrase is \>this\< close to recognizing what it’s like to be a woman in a man’s world without actually recognizing. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2022, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/54 "2022-12-31T22:34:58Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > So your BF wants to decorate himself in styles that are traditionally viewed as femme in the US, while at the same time insisting that you not engage in activities that are traditionally viewed as masculine? AFAICT, the OP hasn’t told us (and apparently doesn’t know) exactly why her current BF opined that she shouldn’t “get too buff”. It was her ex-BF who gave her the “it’s not feminine” rationale. We don’t know, AFAIK, what the current BF considers to be “too buff” or why he thinks the OP should avoid it. Maybe he’s concerned that she’d get into some unhealthy extreme-bodybuilding practices or whatever. Maybe he’s just influenced by cultural stereotypes about muscular fitness being “unattractively unfeminine”, and not noticing how that conflicts with his rejection of cultural stereotypes about men wearing jewelry, for example. Unless the OP asks the current BF and he tells her and she tells us, we’re unlikely to be able to know what his thinking is here. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2022, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/55 "2022-12-31T22:47:19Z")
Will get back to you. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2023, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/56 "2023-01-01T07:46:15Z")
He said toned is fine. Huge muscles not fine. He thinks Ronda Rousy is too muscly. I disagree. He wears jewelry. Two rings on every finger, rings on thumbs, one on toe. Ears, nose, neclaces, bracelets, nail polish. Said he doesnt take them off when showering. Its a rock and roll thing. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2023, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/57 "2023-01-01T12:19:34Z")
Once you get to Rousy levels of muscularity, ask him again. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2023, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/58 "2023-01-01T17:49:01Z")
Thats my goal. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2023, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/59 "2023-01-01T17:55:34Z")
And, that’s not necessarily a bad goal, though, as you noted in your OP, it’s not a realistic goal, unless you largely dedicate your life to training (as Rousey, a professional fighter, undoubtedly did). While exercising and training regularly will make you more fit and stronger, and can make your body more trim and fit, you’re unlikely to achieve the “you’re too muscle-y” look that your boyfriend seems to be afraid of. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2023, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169/60 "2023-01-01T18:11:03Z")
I follow the Mitt Queen, she’s a boxing trainer, strong but not super buff and she can sure take a hit to the mitts. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/LQjbJlBjQEo/maxresdefault.jpg "Johnny Monsour") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQjbJlBjQEo) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/physically-strong-women/977169.md?page=4)