# Picard VS Kirk! Who Wins? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 16, 2008, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084 "2008-06-16T06:30:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Picard_Kills_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/1 "2008-06-16T06:30:15Z")
I wasn’t sure if this belonged in CS or GD 😉 but I thought I’d put it here to start. Who do you think would win in a one on one fight to the death? Picard or Kirk? They get no weapons and no starships. Just hand to hand combat. I will wait until a few have answered before posting who I think would win. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/2 "2008-06-16T07:52:43Z")
If I was picking favourite Captain, I would go for Picard, but I have to give it to Kirk for a down and dirty hand to hand fight. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/3 "2008-06-16T08:00:06Z")
To quote a line I heard long ago on this, “Kirk would win, because Picard would say ‘Let us reason together’, and Kirk would kill him.” Kirk’s just more aggressive. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/4 "2008-06-16T09:23:01Z")
Besides all of that Kirk has a much higher win ratio in fights to the death with one loss and dozens of wins even if he tends to spare the person that the god like alien is making him fight at the last second. Picard has one loss and zero wins so that makes it easy. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/5 "2008-06-16T09:29:35Z")
Yeah, Picard is, all around, a better Captain, but Kirk is a better fighter. Picard’s strong suit has always been in convincing his enemies that fighting will go poorly for them, regardless of how it will go for him, i.e. “The Defector”. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/6 "2008-06-16T10:22:16Z")
[QUOTE=Picard Kills Kirk] I will wait until a few have answered before posting who I think would win. [/QUOTE] :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/7 "2008-06-16T12:58:42Z")
Whoa! Did I wake up in 1996 or something? Wow, what’s next, a link to Hamsterdance? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/8 "2008-06-16T13:04:11Z")
Next we’ll be seeing a return of the “silly bald captain” meme. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/9 "2008-06-16T13:48:10Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] :dubious: [/QUOTE] Yes, Mr. Spock? ---
**Author:** ![Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Picard_Kills_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/10 "2008-06-16T14:03:12Z")
I think I would have to go with Picard Killing Kirk. I agree that Kirk is the more aggressive, physically superior opponent, but I think Picard would twist things with his superior brain power and have Kirk actually kill himself. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/11 "2008-06-16T14:04:19Z")
Kirk wins if it’s a f\*\*king contest, of course. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/12 "2008-06-16T14:17:34Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] To quote a line I heard long ago on this, “Kirk would win, because Picard would say ‘Let us reason together’, and Kirk would kill him.” Kirk’s just more aggressive. [/QUOTE] The idea of Picard as both starship captain and ambassador always appealed to me because it just made so much sense in the “Star Trek” universe. If you’re the vanguard of the human race, you’d better have mad diplomatic skillz. Then it jumped the shark in the episode with “Hugh” where Geordi et al. came up with a virus that would kill all the Borg… and Picard said no because it was too mean. Hugh seemed like such a nice guy. This was at a time when the Borg were a nigh-unstoppable killing force that threatened to wipe out the Federation and all its neighbours. I just about barfed. Picard managed to take being a milquetoast and turn it into being a traitor. Kirk would kill Picard inside a minute. I was going to say he’s take Picard’s balls as a trophy but I’m not convinced Picard had any. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/13 "2008-06-16T14:18:33Z")
I have seen an episode or two where Picard bests several Klingons in hand-to-hand combat. I can’t recall any times where Kirk has done so. Edge: Picard. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/14 "2008-06-16T14:19:52Z")
Kirk would try to bluff his way out of fighting, Picard would try to neogtiate his way out. In the end, Kirk wins, but won’t kill Picard. Also, I would rather have Spock as my backup than Riker, Worf and Data combined. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/15 "2008-06-16T14:24:06Z")
When Kirk fights Picard, we all win. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/16 "2008-06-16T14:42:43Z")
Kirk - unless Picard was in Locutus mode (and prepared, of course) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/17 "2008-06-16T14:44:41Z")
I’m positive that Kirk’s stunt double could whip Picard’s stunt double. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/18 "2008-06-16T14:51:30Z")
Anyone else hearing “da da DAA DAA DAA DAA DAA DAA DAA DAA da da-da da daaa”? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/19 "2008-06-16T14:58:08Z")
Picard’s only chance is to very quickly, before Kirk’s shirt is torn, blind his opponent with the glare from his pate and strike with a Butch Cassidy style kick to the privates. ^ :dubious: ^ ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084/20 "2008-06-16T15:01:40Z")
[QUOTE=ASAKMOTSD] Anyone else hearing “da da DAA DAA DAA DAA DAA DAA DAA DAA da da-da da daaa”? [/QUOTE] Quick! Get me a lirpa. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picard-vs-kirk-who-wins/453084.md?page=2)